How to gain control here???

[Agape]

Actually this whole topic and the question in the title is bad . . . if the relationships is a constant power struggle with each partner trying to one-up each each other it's just going to become more and more dysfunctional

[Kayla]

It's probably too late now since, he texted you yesterday and you probably ended up meeting with him??

yes I did end up responding to his texts and going to meet him. We had a good time.. watching TV and hanging out. So its too late now?? I need to really stick by what I know I need to do.. its just very hard

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Just text him and tell him that the break isn't working for you. Tell him you need to start moving on and only to contact you if he wants to get back together.

[Kayla]

I feel like this situation is leading me towards becoming a screw buddy.. we have still been going back and forth talking/texting/emailing. here the past few days it has been mostly him initiating the contact.. he emailed me about ten times at work friday.. just chit chatting type stuff.. nothing in particular.

We have still been seeing each other since decided "break".. before we meet to go out, we always discuss how we are just going to hang out like its "just a date" and we will NOT have sex. However, every time we have agreed to do this.. we still end up having sex. This happened again last night. I know for a fact I dont need to be doing this esp since his big revelation that he "isnt ready for a relationship". Yet he still wants to see me, date, and of course the sex is fine with him, too. To be fair, I havent exactly sent a clear message and stuck by what I said about the sex.. I mean, I showed up at his house with stuff to make martinis knowing that we had agreed that I would go home at the end of the night. Not the smartest idea, I know.

I dont understand his change in attitude about me and why it is I feel like im just turning into some hang out/screw buddy. I mean- he cant tell me he doesnt want an rship then call, email, and text all the time! wtf??

I know I need to get a grip and stop allowing this... its just hard bc I think Im just having a hard time letting go. and im holding onto the idea that he will get a grip.

I know.. I just need to toughen up and stop this all together. Any advice on how I can resist the urge to say "ok" when he invites me out or how I can resist those moments when I want to text/call him? I know the best course of action here is to just cut if off.. no contact.. how do you make it through that?

I need to get over this.. broken heart

[Agape]

We have still been seeing each other since decided "break".. before we meet to go out, we always discuss how we are just going to hang out like its "just a date" and we will NOT have sex. However, every time we have agreed to do this.. we still end up having sex.

Meh . . .you know what you need to do and no amount of advice will help you . . .you just need to say what you want and follow up with your actions, you haven't been doing this.

[Kayla]

Agape is exactly right. Easier said than done. Its so hard. But I have to.. and I will do it...