Three years gets destroyed by three weeks.

[sapha1]

Three years we was together for , we hardly argued and when we did we spend few days apart and forget it , was was always happy.

i was on holiday for two week all through holiday he was saying how much he loved me how much he missed me how he cudnt wait to see me and cuddle and kiss me , the day i got bk we had a row over some event so stubbornly and regrettly i ignored him for days and he was beggin for me to give him a chance , wen i did he was weird with me all weekend but i thought it was because he wasn�t well , on the last night he turned around kissed me on the head and didn�t stop cuddling me all night. i asked what was rong through text on the weekend and he told me he felt we drifted apart so i said to him hes ovs gonna feel like tha weve nt seen each other in nerly three weeks and then he sed hes fed up of the arguments and we always end up in the same situatuion and other petty excuses which he knows can all be sorted because he finally told me how he felt but insted of of sayin im feeling this lets sort it out as a couple he just told me how he felt and finished it , i went and seen him on the sunday because he done this over text so drove down without tellin him because hes at manchster uni and begged to him and said if he got out the car without giving us a chance ill book a one way flight to oz and hell never see me again and he said nic i love u so much but i cnt do this no more im sorry i cnt do it and since then ive been texting beggin and hes having non of it. But then he put on his facebook that he instantly regretted it but delected it when his mum commented.since then iv done nothing but beg cry and consistently text him.so i didnt text on the wedneday and i dnt no whether he wanted to get at me but he changed his fb password an changed it to single which annoyed me because one of the petty excuse was � when something happens you put it all over facebook and its embarrassing because we have r families on here and i hate people knowing our business� so why does he want everyone to no hes single ? .

recently i seen pictures of this girl and him, on every group picture shes next to him, and hes got quite alot with her , which is confusing as in the whole three years ive known him he hates having pictures taken especially with me , so why is he getting pictures with this girl who he barley known for a week.

i then added her as a friend on fb she declined me as my pictures was me and my ex .

which i found weird as she accept anyone as she sells tickets for an event.

i then checked his phone bill and hes constantly texting and ringing her .

so i went back down to his uni to confront him , how dare he make me feel so bad when he finished me for another girl !?

when i went down he told me that he didnt find her attractive , there was nothing going on , she was just a girl , what we had he will never feel for another girl , when i asked what it was they was texting he used the excuse nothing its just chitta chatta, he said he missed us and he would come and visit my dads grave with me if i needed him there , he started crying i asked if he wanted me to leave he said no . i asked if he wanted me to hug him he said yes , so we sat and just chatted about general things , i didnt no which way to be with him. as we was leaving he kept checking behind him to see if anyone was watching.

the minute i left i found out he texted her when i arrived and the minute i left . but when i got home i texted saying it was nice seeing him and mayb we should go for a drink and he said yer sounds good x an we texted all night and he told me he loved me .

The next day i was in manchester and thought might aswell see him i asked if that was ok he said yes , he sed he was suppose to b going out and i sed it ok if i tag along for a hour and he was like well we will stay in if u want i sed it ok i dnt wanna ruin your plans we can go out and that way you can prove nothing is going on with this abbey and he said ok. few minutes later he texted saying he felt traped and there never gnna b an us , so i went to see him anyway. but when i did he was so aggressive pushing and shoving me telling me it was over for good he was a complete different person.

so i went home and added the girl again with just a picture of me , she accepted , five minutes later she delected me .
so i messaged her
"Hi , i dont usually do this but im really confused .
basically i added you in the first place as if i was gnna b spending time
with jake it be nice to get along with his friends.
recently weve had problems but were wrkin at that at the moment
i seen the pictures of yous two and i also seen how many times hes texting and calling you
without sounding paranoid i would like to know what the thing is with yous two

hes permently texting you and with him liaring to me in the past
i wont like you to have enough respect to tell me the truth .

i seen you added me but then removed me as a friend , so there must be something going on .

i like to hear whats going on from your mouth . im not gnna hate you i just want to know the truth."

she blocked me .

since then ive begged , iv sent him memories , iv ignored him , iv tried everything and nothing working.

when ive asked how he has been hes texted back being nice .but he wont text when i ask him things.

i found out that few days he texted me sayin he didnt feel the same no more, that he took ketamine for the first time at an event since then thats when everything else has changed.

i also found out that hes been taking it 3-5 times a week . this isnt like him , hes never touched a drug ever .
but now after being in uni for three weeks hes; smoking ciggies, smoking weed daily, drinking all the time, taking ketamine whenever he can , wont speak to his mum or dad , finished me for lame reasons , met some girl he barley know, he wont go to uni , he hasnt started his work.

i just dont no wat to do . i feel if i ignore him and cut him out completely ill make it easier for him and this new girl and hell soon forget me and everything will be easier and his feeling for me will weaken.

help ?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Sounds like someone who is definitely worth forgetting. If he just got to uni, this phase is going to last a while, and it will only get worse. You made a lot of big mistakes by getting involved in his new thing with this girl and by being super clingy in general. You really should just step back for a while, as what you are doing now, is making it easier for the two of them to be together and him to forget you.

[sparkle_jello]

If someone wants to break up with you, you should let him. He doesn't have to be friends afterwards, and he's not obligated to treat you a certain way.

He sounds like he's not really worth it anyways.

[sapha1]

its hard when this is a person ive spent two years best friends with and three years living with .
especially when i know hes taking drugs and i have questions that need answering .

[Agape]

"i feel if i ignore him and cut him out completely ill make it easier for him and this new girl and hell soon forget me and everything will be easier and his feeling for me will weaken."

And why do you care? He's doing all this stuff behind your back and you don't like it . . .he also seems to have a history of doing this . . . you shouldn't put up with it.

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Well, too bad this is happenening to you. But, hey.. 3 yrs is long but imagining 10 yrs? Hey, i know it sucks ... but, d guy wants to move on and u should let him. ya So, ucould move on as well.

[sparkle_jello]

its hard when this is a person ive spent two years best friends with and three years living with .
especially when i know hes taking drugs and i have questions that need answering .

None of your questions NEED answering. People stay in and get out of relationships everyday, unless you were married, you need to leave the man alone. If he's doing drugs, bring it to his family's attention, but stay out of it.

[girl68]

Wow, I'm the only one that posted I think this chick is nuts. (I posted in her duplicate thread). I think I specifically referred to her as the "crazy ex".

[sparkle_jello]

Wow, I'm the only one that posted I think this chick is nuts. (I posted in her duplicate thread). I think I specifically referred to her as the "crazy ex".

I put rather bluntly that she should stop talking to him. My guess is that she's just young and inexperienced.

[girl68]

Very young. But still, other than the guy seems a bit like a loser, I didn't see much wrong in what he did but she turned into crazy jealous ex befriending his new girl, twice as a matter of fact, getting denied and whining about it. Either way, I agree with you- leave the dude alone!

[BeingAlpha]

Hi there - I am sorry you are going through this - but you are being very very needy and clingy, despite what you think constantly bombarding him with pleas and love notes is pushing him in the opposite direction. You are making him feel guilty. Let me put it this way -- ever gone out with a guy you didn't really like BUT you went out anyways -- he was super nice, friendly, tried REALLY hard to win your affection? How did you feel? Guilty?

You are being extremely aggressive in the chase that would cause many people to question your mental stability - actually I think you are just VERY heartbroken. So..as to your questions of whether or not he is seeing her -- what difference does it make, he isn't seeing you....that should be the more important issue. He will never admit to anything so lets just say you assume something is going on with her -- okay feel any different? No -- hes still not with you. You guys fought a lot, and had a lot of issues, hes a guy who turned into something that you don't like -- hold onto that and move on with your life. I promise you -- it will get better. I promise you this won't be the last time you get your heart broken -- learn what you can and move on -- find someone better.

Good luck -- we are here for you.

[sapha1]

dear Girl68, in response to your silly comment ,i would like to state that i added her as a friend when we was together and it WAS simply to be friends with his uni friends as he did the same with mine last year and it worked really well!

i added her the second time as i fort it was add when she was accepting everyone else but me

we hardly argue we spent our relationships laughing rather than rowing !
so as for the crazy ex , i think i would put it as not giving up on the person you love !

we broke up in our second year and it was him griefing for me ! and it worked so i tried the same .

so i think you should keep your comment to yourself as i came on here for advice not abuse .

i admit ive been clingy just hard not to be when this is someone ive lived with , spent the majority of my life with and base my life around
one day hes madly inlove with me the next he still loves me but cant do it no more and theres another gir he barely known for a week.
so im finding it hard coming to terms how this happened.

i would feel better if he told me the truth as these thoughts that are going on around my head and wont leave . if the truth was to be known it would be answer alot of these thoughts that never leave and atleast my mind would be at peace.
i am young but im old enough to know my true feeling are and wise enough to know what we had was great , he just gave up one day . ive had past long term relationships so ive dealt with quite alot .
the day he takes drugs was the day everything changed, pretending to be something hes no and convering up his emotions , hes so unsure about everything and he told me he doesnt no want to feel about anything any more.

but this is someone i truely adore and love and although hes broken my heart and destroyed me i cnt help but still care and love him

i feel that if i give up and walk away then im weak for givin up on us , ino he has but i dont think he has fully as he wouldnt respond to my calls or text messages!
i find it hard to walk away especially when hes so unsure about everything , he suffers from depression and has chances of getin bypolar as his family suffer from it , and hes taking a hard drug and mixing it with other . so i suppose im more concerned for him and his health rather than myself.

id like to make this clear though , we hardly fought and there wasnt many issues with us as we are really laidback people to be petty over things,
but now ive lost him i admit i am being clingy.



but thanks guys for your advise , as hard as it sometimes its easier to pretend your happy than explain why your not , i guess ive just gtta stick to tha , because one day ill eventually smile and mean it without him.

[Agape]

"but this is someone i truely adore and love and although hes broken my heart and destroyed me i cnt help but still care and love him

i feel that if i give up and walk away then im weak for givin up on us , ino he has but i dont think he has fully as he wouldnt respond to my calls or text messages!
i find it hard to walk away especially when hes so unsure about everything , he suffers from depression and has chances of getin bypolar as his family suffer from it , and hes taking a hard drug and mixing it with other . so i suppose im more concerned for him and his health rather than myself. "

It's admirable but care about yourself, as for him and his problems, well, if you continue on then they will become your problems . . . as you've said, he's broken your heart and he's destroyed you - do you want this to continue?

[girl68]

Crazy ex (oh I mean "not giving up") sweetie give it up... We all get dumped.

[xxazurexx]

He's found a new love interest, hence you got the boot.

He couldn't have loved you as much as you thought he did and if he'd loved you 'that' much, he'd be still with you.
Sucks, but shit happens all the time. My ten year marriage was destroyed in 3 minutes flat.....we've all been there, or most of us anyway and we get over it.