Hi,
So last month my girlfriend and I got into a huge argument which led me to almost slapping her. I got angry at her because she raised the question "So, I'm guessing your money is a waste on me?". I really got mad at her for that because I have done so much for her. You cannot imagine the things I done and bought for her and she acted like I never did anything for her. She has never did anything for me. So I told her to apology because I was very hurt and she didn't want to. She cussed right at my face. I really cannot tolerate cussing at all; I rather get hit then to be cussed at. So I get really pissed off and I raised my arm to get ready to slap her, but I didn't. She gets out of the car and goes back to church. Before all this happen, for the pass couple of months she has been nagging and trying to change me. Trying to change how I eat, how to drive (she doesn't even have a license), and all these other stuff. I been keeping my anger inside the whole time because I love her so much, but I exploded that day. So she breaks up with me and I try to get her back. I swore to her I'll never raise my arm every again because honestly I never learned that slapping was a bad thing. In my culture (korean), I was always slapped by my parents for doing something wrong and in dramas there always slapping each other if it is nothing. Now I learned that slapping someone, especially a woman is the worst thing a man can do. Hmm, its been a month since that accident and in between she has changed. She has been degrading me the whole time. She asked how a stupid like me got into college (it pissed me off), she acted like she was a goddess and she can ruin my reputation (honestly, she is a loner at school, but this also pissed me off cause she thought she can do it), she even degraded my father because I learned it from him (pissed me more off cause her father is worse), she acts like its all my fault and degrades me more. I love her so much that I took it and kept apologizing , but at the same time she isn't the person I used to know. Now, I know that it is truly my fault that this has happened. The second I raised my finger it changed her. Everything she did to me for the past month is something that I deserve. I still very much love her... Just a day before it happened she was madly in love with me and I was madly in love with her. Do I move on? Do I wait for her? Do I stopped focusing on love and focus on my school? Do I keep on asking forgiveness and ask her to come back for me? I do not want to start a relationship with another woman because I went so far with this one. I promised myself that someday I will marry this person... Man, I wish I can just go back in time and change everything...