Advice, experiences or just some general reassurances please!

[bluecow]

OK

A bit of history

I'm 31, and split from my ex husband 3 years ago. I have 2 children and our youngest was still a baby when we split. Apart from a rebound fling straight from the split, I havent slept with anyone in 3 years. Partly through choice (not wanting to go for meaningless sex), and partly through circumstance (young children are not conducive to an active sex life, they needed mum to just be mum so my needs went on the back burner).

For the last couple of months I have been dating a really really lovely man. A real gentleman. He is the sort that is very very rare to find, a real knight in shining armor, supportive, kind, caring and very gentle. Up until now things have not progressed physically beyong kissing, but I'm staying at his place this weekend so its crunch time.

I'm not inexperienced, in my youth before marriage and children I was a wild child, however i'm a different woman now than then. Yet... I'm terrified beyond belief about this next stage. Its also not that I have any big worries about my body, none apart from the usual womens hang ups and nothhing that would stop me from enjoying myself.

Its not that i dont want sex, omg ive wanted to rip his clothes off long long before now, but he really is the gentleman and the opportunity just hasnt presented itself. Now its here and i find myself panicing. I just dont know if i remember how to be a good lover, or even what I enjoyed in the past. Sex has been so off the menu for so long!

Its been so long since I made love with anyone, I feel like a virgin again.

Any words of wisdom, experiences or advice please?

[Boisdevie]

Perhaps he is being a gentlemen because he respects you. Perhaps he doesn't want to pressure you and make your life difficult? Here is my own story. I met a very nice woman with two kids aged 7 and 3. Second date she came to my place for dinner and because of the distance I said she could stay the night in her own bedroom. SHe had been single for 8 months or so after a relationship that went pear shaped so it wasn't my job to pressure her. So I was the perfect gentleman. She went to bed in her room and I went to bed in mine. 3 minutes later she knocked on my door......
If you want him physically just go for it - why not. I suspect he'd probably feel flattered. Good luck.
And you never forget how to make love, especially when you care for the person you are sharing with.

[Raven_Skye]

You want him. He wants you. Just.. if you feel that would make you feel more secure, tell him about your worries. He's a great guy, or so he sounds, and if you tell him it's been a couple of years and you're a big unsure about all this (not about doing this, but about thw whole thing in general) he'll probably understand. take it slow, it will come back to you. I can't say I've gone three years, but a year and a halfm with a long distance relationship, and my dad ill and dying of cancer, about 20 months went by. I felt so non-sexual at that time, it was weird to be intimate with someone again. BUT.. they say it's like riding a bicyle. It is. You never forget, listen to your body. Most of all, don't worry too much. Have fun.

[bluecow]

Thanks, thats exactly how i have felt... non-sexual

Thanks for all your advice x

[Agape]

"he really is the gentleman and the opportunity just hasnt presented itself."

Well perhaps you could initiate something . . .and if he truly is a gentleman he'll understand