Need some help

[googeter]

This might get kind of long...
There is this girl in my class that I'm really into, and we both know it. However, the problem is that there is this douchebag that is constantly crowding her, following her nearly everywhere she goes, and basically just trying to keep her away from me. We do have a chance to go for a coffee by ourselves every day and we talk. Just yesterday when we went for our daily coffee, she told me that she hates that guy's guts basically. He is too rude, obnoxious, and generally he is one of those guys who gets off on putting other people down (constantly).
Now, she is practically begging me to tell him (for her) to stop harassing her, and that she isn't interested in him because she is too nice and doesn't want to come across as a b!tch.
This guy is 28 years old, severely overweight, collects magic the gathering cards, and lives in his mom's basement...and yet he is trying to take me out of the equation. On top of this, he is a major creeper...he waited for her outside of the ladie's washroom on several occasions (when she tried to excuse herself from his company). That is just pathetic...
Can you guys help me come up with a plan to remove this guy from the picture? I was thinking of telling her to pretend that she is seeing me, but since she said she is not ready to start dating again just yet, I don't think that would work. Do you have any thoughts on this matter? He has told me that he is waiting for the right time to ask her out, since we all know that she is going through a nasty break-up right now. I told he this and she reacted in a very negative way towards it...she basically said "I hope he doesn't want to ask me out! Please tell me he doesn't!". How do I take this guy out of the picture?

I have already asked her out, and she said yes. We are going out next week on Thursday.

[MerryH]

that she isn't interested in him because she is too nice and doesn't want to come across as a b!tch.

Ugh, I hate this attitude. Rejecting a guy or telling him to back off does not make a woman a heartless bitch. How unfortunate that she doesn't have the strength of character to do this herself and instead expects a man (you) to fix her problems for her. I wonder what she would do if you got into a serious relationship with her and another guy started hitting on her. I guess she would just suffer it until you came along to kick his ass or something.

This is not your problem to fix, but I guess if you wanted to help her out, you could explain to her that it's okay to be a "heartless bitch" to a guy who is bothering her and that she doesn't owe him any kindness if he's being a creeper. Encourage her to deal with it herself - it would be more effective than you telling him anything anyway. You could give her some examples or what to say, like "Look, I feel like you're really crowding me and it's making me uncomfortable. I don't think we should be friends anymore." or "I'm not looking to be your friend. Please leave me alone forever." After she says this, she needs to walk away and never acknowledge him again. There doesn't need to be a discussion about it. She should not give him an opportunity to go, "B-b-b-but I won't bother you as much anymore p-p-p-please be my frieeend!" She owes him NOTHING. Maybe with your help, she can learn some good life lessons from this.

[googeter]

See...he asked her to go see a movie with him (well she encouraged him to ask by saying she wanted to see it first) and she accepted, but then she begged me and my friend to come with them so she wouldn't have to be alone with this creeper. Naturally, I declined...I don't need to cancel my plans for her, not yet anyways, and ESPECIALLY not for something like this. Well, we told her to brush him off by telling him that she has a long-time friend from another country who's coming to visit her that weekend, and that she can't go.
She took our advice, but she keeps telling me how she doesn't have the heart to be mean or keep lying to this guy, even though she pretty much hates him. One of her text messages to me read "Can u plz tell him to back off for me?"...to which I replied with "You need to tell him he's crowding you. We could talk about this forever, but until someone (you) does something, the situation will remain as it is at this moment."
I know I'm right on this one. One of the things I do when I dislike someone is...well I start by tuning them out of the conversation, never looking them in the eye, and not paying attention to what they are saying. Eventually they will get the hint and leave. This is what she needs to do as well, but she doesn't want to be mean. It drives me insane seeing this because...first and foremost, this guy is deliberately standing in between the two of us, he's preventing her from hanging out with me, which she has told me she would much rather do anyway. She told me she likes me, that I make her feel comfortable with herself, and that is why she always sits close to me. For crying out loud...she's 20 right now, and if she can't deal with one annying douchebag right now, how is she going to stand up for herself later on? This is not what I signed up for! I was interested in her, hell...I still am, but I'm not going to tell him off for her because that would end in one of two ways:
1) He would take my talking to him as a sign of my interest for her and he could reverse it on me...not like I would let this loser do that to me though
2) He would probably want to fight me if I did it for her, and I am not looking for a fight.
I want to help her! I really do, but I don't know where to friggin start! I think that what I have told her so far can be counted as pretty damn solid advice... ("Tell him you feel like he's suffocating you! You are a grown woman, and can make your own decisions about whom you want to chill with. He doesn't own you, he's just acting possessive, and to be honest with you, most other girls I know would tell a guy like this to SCREW OFF FOR GOOD!"

[Agape]

Her thoughts
"He is too rude, obnoxious, and generally he is one of those guys who gets off on putting other people down (constantly). "

Her actions, or the actions she wants you to do
"She is practically begging me to tell him (for her) to stop harassing her, and that she isn't interested in him because she is too nice and doesn't want to come across as a b!tch. "

--> If she's such a nice girl people will understand why she doesn't want to be around this guy. . . it's almost like she wants you to fight her battles and she wants you to be her knight in shining armour who saves her from ogre suitors, lol - tell that this is the 21st century and women have a right to say "no" and can speak for themselves.

And jokes aside, she needs to learn how to speak up . . you could be there for her and give her guidance and support, but don't do it for her - she has to do it herself!

[googeter]

And jokes aside, she needs to learn how to speak up . . you could be there for her and give her guidance and support, but don't do it for her - she has to do it herself!

This is exactly what I was planning to do! I will give her advice on how to get rid of him, but I won't just do it for her...I don't fight anyone's battles, but my own. Now since this guy is trying so hard to keep her away from me, is there a way I can do the same to him...possibly without being a d!ck about it. That's just not the way I roll...

[Agape]

"Now since this guy is trying so hard to keep her away from me, is there a way I can do the same to him"

Well you keep her away from him in the sense that she's less available and she spends more intimate time with you . . . also I think it's she who needs to make it crystal clear that she dislikes his presence, either this guy can't take a hint or he is getting mixed messages or she hasn't been honest/up-front that she doesn't like him

[googeter]

Actually it's a combination of all three. I'm thinking of just suggesting to her to start pretending like we are going out (even though we all know she isn't ready to be dating again), but if this is the only way for this doofus to take a hint, then so be it! She cancelled on him quite a few times already, and the jackass just keeps trying. He just won't give up, and on top of that he can't take a freaking hint! If she blew me off only once, I would be moving on, but he just doesn't stop. He doesn't know the meaning of the word "no". Hell he would probably force himself on her if things keep going the way they are now!

[all alone]

This is exactly what I was planning to do! I will give her advice on how to get rid of him, but I won't just do it for her...I don't fight anyone's battles, but my own. Now since this guy is trying so hard to keep her away from me, is there a way I can do the same to him...possibly without being a d!ck about it. That's just not the way I roll...

you got it right, just stick to your current strategy.

[MerryH]

I'm thinking of just suggesting to her to start pretending like we are going out (even though we all know she isn't ready to be dating again), but if this is the only way for this doofus to take a hint, then so be it!

No, this is not the only way. That is a really silly and childish solution to a problem that is (potentially) easily fixed by her just being a big girl and telling him to stop. And yeah, he's probably a doofus, be she HAS been agreeing to go out with him. She just flakes out on plans. Those aren't exactly clear signals. Sometimes people are dense and you have to tell them in no uncertain terms what you want from them. Her lack of backbone doesn't make you reconsider your feelings for her at all?

[googeter]

For some reason...no, it doesn't. I truly like this girl for who she is. She's sweet, caring, honest (in most cases...), funny...I ran into a rough patch with her last week, asked her out, she said she has to check her schedule. I called her over the weekend, she never picked up her phone. Then I decided to leave her alone, and just act as if it did not happen. She came back to me on wednesday and asked me out herslf. She said she was very surprised that I seemed uninterested, and I told her that usually when a girl doesn't return my calls, I just forget about her and assume she is not interested. Her response was that just because she didn't return my calls, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like me. We agreed to go out sometime next week (deciding that would be on tuesday later on). This weekend, we stayed in touch through text messages, and she actually responded every time, with an enthusiastic reply. Things seem to be looking up. I teased her a bit by saying "you're not going to cancel on me again, are you?" and she laughed and said "I don't do that to people I actually like". We interact every day in class, go on walks during the break every day, and she always sits right next to me. We have lots of things in common, etc. Now, I will be honest...I did already fall for her, but I am trying my hardest not to elevate her so high up that she makes me feel nervous, and so far it's going well! I feel like I can be myself around this girl, and not worry about trying to impress her like I did with other girls in the past. With her, everything just seems so natural to me.
The only thing that does bother me is the guy. He has told me that he is waiting for the right time to ask her out. I told her about that and she responded with "Please try to convince him it's a bad idea...this guy is way too old for me!" (8 year difference, she's 20, he's 28). The problem, however, is that she is afraid of being rude to him, even though she told me she hates the guy because he is too rude, obnoxious, and clearly gets off on putting others around him down in order to inflate his own ego.

[MerryH]

Wait, wtf? Why did you register a new account to post this? You already have another active thread going about this girl.

Damn, she's a flake. Why are you falling all over yourself to help her out? Did you ever consider that maybe she sees you the same way she sees the 28 year old weirdo? Maybe she's just "too nice" to just tell you to piss off. She's ducked your phone calls/texts and has canceled on you, too. How can you know for sure with someone so flighty? This shit isn't worth your time.

[googeter]

There's another thread like this? What? That's not me, I have better things to do than create multiple accounts on one single forum lol.
I've had a thing for her for about 2 weeks now. I'm seeing another girl at the moment, but I know it is not going to get anywhere with her. She's just a friend...with benefits. She hasn't been ignoring me lately though. And the last time she missed my call she called me back, appologized for missing my call earlier, and we talked about this problem for a while. I told her that I am not going to get rid of him for her, she has to do it herslf, however, I can provide her with some advice if she needs it.

[Only-virgins]

Ugh, I hate this attitude. Rejecting a guy or telling him to back off does not make a woman a heartless bitch.

I agree. What the hell. In-fact silence can heart them more in many situations.

[googeter]

I get the opportunity to put my plan into motion in a couple of hours when I see her in class today. Hopefully she has the guts to follow through, because I definitely won't be doing it for her!

[Agape]

"The problem, however, is that she is afraid of being rude to him, even though she told me she hates the guy because he is too rude, obnoxious, and clearly gets off on putting others around him down in order to inflate his own ego."

That's weird . . .also considering the 'not responding doesn't mean I don't like you' thing she has going on means that she isn't afraid of being rude . . .she can tell this weird guy off but for some reason she doesn't really want to.