cheating gf - should I take her back ? want to be prepared

[TomerT]

Dear Ladies,
Your opinion very appreciated..

So in short - few weeks ago, I was unjustifiably brutally dumped (without any explanations or even seeing me). My gf went for vacation to visit her country (as my legitimate gf) after 6 weeks came back pregnant from her X. I talked with her only once since then, may be for 5 mins. (she told me "I am sorry, I am confused, I don't know how it happened, I thinking about abortion, will you take me back ?) I don't know how serious she was about what she said or may be just checked that she has "plan B"...
Now I always told her "Honey, if there is a slight chance that there is something left between you and your X, go for it, try to fix your last relationship". She was swear to me that they tried many times, he caused her so much pain that there is no chance..(apparently not )...Nevermind..She tried to call me several times since then but I just blocked her number. Not because I didn't want to talk with her, but cause I was expecting her to come and talk to my face and not to hide behind the phone and disconnect when real questions arise (she is very good at it ). It is not hard to find me, she did it before (when we had our arguments)...Or may be it is too much to expect..?
anyway, we not in touch for 3 weeks...I have no idea what is going on in her life, but I pretty sure that eventually they will break up, and naturally, most likely I will become her no.1 option. I always told her I am not ready to be her backup plan...On the other hand, we all do mistakes..I also not an angel. I know I loved her a lot, she was more than gf to me, we were very close and I (hopefully) believe that she also loved me (at least until she opened her legs..by the way when I asked her "what you was thinking when you was fu..ing with him" she told me she thought about me, which of course made me very happy person Nevermind...If I still wasting my time thinking about her, probably I still love her and would give her a second chance.
So my questions are:
1) What is the reasonable time window I still may take her back ? I am realistic and don't see my self "grieve" for say half a year...
2) What is the minimum I can expect from her to show me that she really sorry and regret about what she did ? Saying on the phone "I'm sorry" not enough I think...On the other hand I don't want to be too "hard" on her, since she is also in emotional wreck I suppose.
3) Should I take her back at all ? Even if she really deeply truly sorry (although probably I will never know, what is in her mind)

[doppelgaenger]

No.

_____________

[TomerT]

brevity is the sister of talent

[nightmarexxx]

if she cheated once,you cant forget about it,as you take her under you , you will think about the other guy doing this,tested and qualified.It can reach to a murder.also if she had done that it means she doesnt love you.She can just try to spend your feelings more and more.Dont make her happy.She is sinful.Just forget about her.She will do it again,you will lose time.Its like habbit,their heart is beating fast when they cheat.So they will want it again.Dont believe in her.

[nightmarexxx]

she is not sorry dont believe her,she must have problems with the other guy and thats why shes trying to use you and keep you in hand

[duran_ii]

Absolutely not. She shattered your trust and broke your heart in one of the worst, heinous ways possible. In fact, she's too much of a selfish coward to even give you the courtesy of face-to-face interaction. I know she was your gf, and you loved her very much. But forget that, look at her ACTIONS. Her actions reveal that ultimately, she doesn't care about you. The whole "I don't know what happened" is complete and utter bullshit. The translation was, "I'm selfish, and I wanted to do it because if felt good to me. I don't care about your feelings."

Don't take her back. She made her choice and she lost. For God's sake man, if you have any self-respect left, you will completely shut her out of your life. Don't be her crutch, and don't be the wimp who takes back a girl who used and cheated him. You will only send a message to her saying, "It's ok for you to treat me badly. I'll take you back." Mark my words, you take her back, and she will break your heart again.

Not only that, but look at it from a practical standpoint. Lets say you have a severe lapse in judgment, and you take her back. What about the baby now? Would you feel comfortable raising some other guy's baby? Don't be a sucker. SHE WILL USE YOU.

The golden rule when it comes to women is, "Never listen to what they say, watch what they do instead." Words are meaningless without actions to back them up. When a person's actions contradict their words, they're full of shit.

Oh, just realized I was in the "Ask A Female" forum, LOLOL. Oh well, there's a token Male opinion for you!

[Agape]

"Cheating girlfriend"
"Unjustifiably brutally dumped"
"without any explanations or even seeing me"
"came back pregnant from her X"

How can you even THINK OF THINKING of taking her back?

[TomerT]

This is also something that I don't understand. I consider my self as reasonable person.
After what she did, why the hell I still thinking about her and possibility get us back ?
Is it Ego ? May be I saw too many "Hollywood" movies ?
I am noticing every day that pass - she become a stranger for me (far from sight, far from heart),
but I almost sure one day she will appear again into my life....Cause I was good for her...Stupid girl...

[duran_ii]

Dude, you never want her to appear again. You deserve better. We all want what we can't have. When our confidence is low, we want things that are bad for us. That's why so many people's first thought after their ex does something heinous is to think, "How can I get her back?" The real question of a logical mind is to ask, "How can I get rid of her for good?"

Just maintian strict NC. Let her cry and beg. She screwed up, and there's no going back. What she did to you was the ultimate insult, and nothing short of heinous. God forbid she has to actually take responsibility for her actions for once. Also, if she does do that abortion like she asked you, she is going to be a psychological MESS. Moreso than she is right now. Let her and the other guy suffer the consequences for their actions. If anything, you will definitely be the one better off from this ordeal. You're going to look back months from now and realize that she did you a favor by breaking up.

[TomerT]

Thanks. Yes, you absolutely right - I already start to feel "thankful"....
I can not say it was a perfect relationship - but still I didn't do anything to deserve such a humiliation (in front of her friends, family, even her X)...
Actually I was "encouraging" her to talk with her X to make sure they finished in respectful way and there is nothing left....
Doesn't matter... frankly, I am tired thinking and writing about her...
She is not worth yours and my time....I just want to learn something from all this...

[TomerT]

and yes, I want her to cry and beg...

[Agape]

and yes, I want her to cry and beg...

Um, no . . .and if she doesn't "cry and beg", then what? Will you try again and hope you get a response out of her. . . if you want revenge or her 'to pay' then you're still emotionally dependent on her.

[TomerT]

Of course, I am not a robot with ON/Off switch that can disconnect my emotions (I wish I could)
In my thoughts she still appears under name "honey"....