Am I Too Young For Him?

[doppelgaenger]

One bullshit thing I like to say to a girl is that she's mature. Girls eat that up - it makes them feel important and older. Of course, this is the one compliment you can give them that they won't hesitate to accept and you can use that to your advantage. The truth is that I've never met a mature girl in my life. It's an oxymoron, lol.

That guy probably only called you mature and stuff because he couldn't think of something more charming to say when you asked him why he likes you.

[blent]

lol, were you used by a guy? You seem hellbent on blaming the guy you know nothing about. Here's a thought: neither of them are at fault

I'm a straight guy, so I don't think me being used by another guy is the issue. I never said there was anyone to blame, all i've been saying is that her bf is expecting something she can't offer.

[Spoonandfork]

I never said there was anyone to blame, all i've been saying is that her bf is expecting something she can't offer.

who do you think you're fooling? lol

Tell him you will continue to be you and if he has a problem with that then he isn't as mature as he thinks himself to be.

It's his fault because he decided to date someone 8 years younger than him and then complain that the person isn't acting the way someone his age would...

She's still a kid, and it's his fault for expecting her to act like a 26 year old.

[blent]

He made the mistake of dating someone at the age of 18, did YOU do it? did I? I didn't say anything else was his fault, only that he expects something someone can't offer. Who the hell dates someone 8 years younger and then goes on with life expecting that person to be as mature and experienced as he is? Obviously he's the one that isn't satisfied with the relationship and it's his fault for not seeing that this would happen.

[Incognito]

Sorry blent, you're generalizing and assuming a lot. I was dating a woman who was 36 when I was 18 and there were no maturity issues. Everyone is different and perhaps he thought that she was more mature than she actually was/is. People who are younger shouldn't automatically be written off because of their age. He gave her a shot, and it isn't working the way he'd hoped. I don't say that to slight the OP either because you can only be who you are and can only work with what you have. She sounds like she wants to be more mature, but that is something that no one can hand to her or teach her. Only time and experience can do that.

[thundersw]

As long you can take and accept responsabilities for you and your life you're mature enough.
Mature is not having your boobs growing, it's how you act socially.
If you decide to live with this man be mindful of what it represents.
Everything else is just your personality, some girls are cute, others hot, others cherful.
You get the point and you'll mature with time, life beats you into that.

[lyle0729]

I'm nineteen so I can speak for this-- teenagers have a problem understand how young they really are. For this man to consider an 18 year-old is almost pedophilia to me, but we don't notice this bc of the naivety we still obtain. Not that its a bad thing, but you are innocent for not knowing how bad this situation is because of our (as teenagers) lack of experience. The only thing wrong here is HIM. HE is old enough to understand what is wrong with this picture and he's still deciding to act on it. As mature as you can be, there's no way a girl who just entered college can experience things that meet at the same level as a college graduate.

Let's turn the tables-- What a about when you get older? He liked younger women now, so why won't he when he is 40, 50, 60? Chances are you're in the position of "divorced woman from whom her retired spouse ltraded her in for a new car and 20 year-old college student". You need to consider his immaturity too.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your state of mind on this issure, but this guy's a douche. Leave him.

[Agape]

If things are working out and you need more time to mature then it's best you leave him and work on your own problems?

however,you can learn and mature with him . . . but either way, if both parties are unhappy then it's best to break up

[Spoonandfork]

For this man to consider an 18 year-old is almost pedophilia to me

Ralph, please go

[Roymax]

I'm 18 and my boy friend of seven months is 26. Yes, eight years apart. He fell for me because he thought was extremely mature for my age and more agreeable than any girl he'd met. He said he'd given up on looking for the one after a series of failed relationships until he got to know me. We entered our relationship with expectations of seriousness and permanency. We've know each other for nearly three years, but he of course never considered me until now. He's my first boy friend and that really puts me at a disadvantage experience-wise.

As the months pass, my immaturity reveals itself more and more and I feel his withdrawal. He gets frustrated with the way I handle things and I can't blame him. I could walk away if I didn't know I could spend the rest of my life with him. I owe it to him to be the Me that he fell inlove with. Is my immaturity something that can overcome with time? Please tell me how.

I need advice about what makes a girl "mature" enough for you when it comes to dealing with relationship matters, tips on solving dating low points, insight on overcoming age difference. If you need more info on our relationship, I'd be happy to give it. I don't know anyone with enough experience and success to give me proper advice and I'm lost without any outside help. Please help!

I'm currently involved with a 27 year old woman and I'm 39. She is actually the first younger than my age generation I've been with. I only expect her to be her self by acting her age and not trying to be something she isn't. You should focus being 18 and he should focus on being 26. I've learned a valuable lesson since my ex was 9 years older. She would tell me I was immature but on the flip side she acts very immature. Yes, at 24 I was certainly less mature compared to who I am now because my ways were different back then. The problem these days is some people who are younger dating someone much older are trying way too hard be someone they are not at an age they are not. It's like me trying to act 60 when I'm only 39. Just act your own age and most importantly be yourself. As for experience, you gain more as you grow older but don't let..."I have more experience than you do fool you". That person may have more experience of being an ignorant ass for that matter. It's not so much the age of a person that makes them great it's the kind of person they are. Just remember that. I would have no problem going with someone my age just as much as the 27 year old I'm seeing right now. It's actually who they are that counts. You only owe it to yourself to be yourself (age). Good luck

[YouAreBeautiful]

You need to consider his immaturity too.

Agreed very wise.

You are extremely mature to take initiative and try to seek ways to be mature on a forum. Caring about a relationship and taking steps to please your partner and be worthy is all the maturity we can expect. In fact, you seem to be more mature than him.

Perhaps what he is expecting of you is not maturity, but something completely unrealistic he is just calling maturity and blaming you for. I don't know the details of the relationship, but it seems to me that when it comes to maturity, you've got it.

[jancsi]

I think it depends per a guy. Some like young girls, which still like enjoying life and they measure up to him, so go for it

[Rminhammer]

Yes your to young. He shouldnt even be fishing for anything less than 21-22. Thats pedifile

[Incognito]

^^^ That is your personal opinion and nothing else. Pedophilia involves individuals who are less than 18, and in some states 16. It all depends on what the age of consent is in that state, and none are higher than 18.

[twinrexes]

Brookep, you said, " He fell for me because he thought I was extremely mature for my age and more agreeable than any girl he'd met." That "more agreeable" part suggests to me that women his own age challenge him too much. I've met a lot of men who go for younger women because they can influence them more easily. They have more control. But it rarely works out. Either the little girl grows up and realizes she doesn't want him anymore, or the guy gets tired of the differences that come with them being worlds apart in age, emotional development, and life experience.

Trying to act as if you're older is tricky because under pressure you're going to do what's natural and age-appropriate.

As the two of you get older the age difference will matter less. But I wonder if he can ride it out, or will he decide this is just another one of his failures.

The best advice I can give is to make sure the two of you share what's on your mind, don't try to mind-read or expect him to know what you're thinking. If you imagine he's pulling away because he thinks you're immature, why don't you ask him? Tell him you notice he's been more distant and would like to know why, and see where it goes from there.