Have we burned too many bridges?

[caddy]

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years a few months ago when I found out he was speaking to other girls on a dating website and he went on a date with one of them.
Things had been tough for a while, I had been unemployed for a while and two family members died. He has got anxiety issues which he was struggling with, so we were both unhappy.
I moved out of our house and my family found out about everything that had been going on.
A few months later and we're still friends and have been getting close again. He's getting help for his anxiety and I have got a good new job and have lost lots of weight which was also getting me down.
He says he wants me back, and I really want to give it another go, but it will be really hard for him to prove to my family and friends that he's not going to hurt me again.

Has anyone got any ideas for how I can tell everyone that he's back in my life? It's worrying me so much that I keep thinking maybe we shouldn't give it another go because of what people think.

I would love some advice please!

[justcheckin]

first of all what matters most is what YOU think. If you like the guy, and think he is sincere, the emotional support will help both of you out tremendously. You could possibly wait to tell your family/friends for a few months to just make sure that it is for real this time. Just proceed with caution. I wouldnt NOT do it because of what people might think... unless he made you look like a fool, and then that would be a different story....

[mywitsend]

I agree that it only matters what you think, but don't force your friends and family to be happy for you. Dude did a dumb thing, and people have the right to think he's dumb. What matters is if you really believe he's changed. If you learn to trust him again, they will learn to as well if they care about you. Just be careful sweetie, I'm bitter on the subject; but not totally convinced guys like that ever really change.

[caddy]

thank you for your advice, it really makes sense. Unfortunately things aren't as easy as they were last week...
We had a massive talk at the weekend and we decided that the only thing that mattered was us loving eachother and giving it another really good go. So I was on top of the world....for about 24 hrs!
The day after he told me he had signed up to the dating website again, just for fun apparently! He promises he is not messaging anyone coz 'he couldnt do that to me again'.
The only thing is I know his password and have been checking up on him. He has messaged loads of girls saying he is single and being all flirty. So now I am stuck in a difficult place. I can't tell him I know what he's been doing coz he'll find out I have been hacking into his account. But then again I can't keep pretending that everything is ok.
I have asked him to delete his profile but every time I do he tells me that its just a bit of fun, he is not looking for anyone else and I should stop nagging.
Am I the only one who thinks its unacceptable to be messaging and flirting with other girls on a dating website when they have just told their girlfriend they really want to make it work?
Another reason I am so pissed off about it is that the reason we broke up in the end is coz he went on a date with a girl from a dating website.

I love him so much and can't stand the thought of losing him, should I just turn a blind eye and forget about it?

[Agape]

Don't turn a blind eye . . . else you'd just walk into more problems

What is your relationship based on? I'd hope mutual trust and respect. . . now what he is doing is neither those 2 things and what you just didn't isn't that either? Frankly you two are now just keeping secrets from each other and that's not good for anyone.

It sucks you were together for 3 years and you broke up a few months ago, but if this is how the relationship is then it's worth it. . . you should find someone who doesn't play this dating site flirty games and focuses attention on you.

[justcheckin]

He signed up on this website AFTER you guys decided to give it another go?


Dear please stay away from that guy. he is going to hurt you as soon as he gets the chance. Please do not believe him when he says "for fun" because that is stupid. There is nothing "fun" about looking for a new relationship. It sucks and is annoying haha (until of course you hit pay-day )

[Boisdevie]

The guy sounds like an arse - leave him and find a life

[IncognitoSir]

How old are you? CLEARLY he's setting you up to be screwed again, do yourself a favor and find another bf.