am i still in love?

[Rhia]

Hi i'm new here and i don't really know where to start.....

im 24 and my boyfrined is 25 , we have been together for 3 and a half years and we have a 2yr old girl who we both absolutely adore. I don't really know how i feel about him any more. It's nothing he's done, he hasn't changed or anything. it's just me.
When i think back to my first love when i was 16, i can remember feeling totally suffocated with my feelings towards my then boyfriend. I used to just cry coz i loved him so much, and it's almost like i could feel it in my heart. I know it sounds corny but my whole body used to ache when i wasn't with him and i didn't even want to talk to anyone, just him. We split after 1 year and 9 months as i was getting bored etc and then four years on i met my current partner.
When we first got together i lusted after him so much. We couldn't keep our hands off eachother and subsequently i accidentially fell pregnant. We had only been together about 6 months at the time but we both decided that we would give it a go and luckily it worked really well. We get on really well, we have a laugh etc. We don't really argue that much either. However, i've never felt that feeling i did with my ex. That real can't live without each other kinda thing. And i really have no feelings for my ex anymore, i see him about often and his new girlfriend is lovely and i honestly wish him all the best. I don't miss him i miss that feeling. I'm worried that i've never really loved my current boyfriend a it dosn't feel the same with him. But then i'm sure i must love him as he once didn't come home and i was nearly in tears worried about him. ANd our lil one adores him and we have a really nice little family life. He cooks dinner and plays with our lil one etc...he's supported me financially since i got pregnant and has never complained about a thing.
He's not very affectionate, but never has been and so rather than me taking it as an insult i just accept that thats the way he is. Lately we have been talking about marriage and stuff and it's just made me question our relationship. Because i don't feel this heart wrenching feeling towards him, does that mean i don't love him that much? We have never split up and so i don't know how i would feel if we did. But i don't want him to leave me and same with me. I don't have a desir to be with anyone else but i'm just worried that eventually this comfy relationship won't be enough. Or is that just the way it goes? I love my daughter with every bit of my heart and i would never ever break up with her daddy on a niggling feeling. i just don't want to talk to anyone i know about it because they all think we have such a good relationship.

We went out at the weekend and my ex boyfriend was there with his new gf... we were both a bit drunk and gave each other a big hug and talked about how it was a shame that we didnt talk anymore (you know drunken rubbish!) then he started telling me that he'll always love me and that i was his first love and nothing would ever change that and that things are different now coz of my daughter blah blah.... i told him that i really loved him when we were together and that im glad things are cool between us. Really regretted this drunken convo in the morning and messaged him over FB saying that im sorry if i upset him, he said i didnt at all and that he'd see me around. I don't know if maybe this conversation brought to light any insecurities i have about my current relationship.

sorry to waffle!

Rhia xx

[valhensing]

each love are different, u cant expect to have the same kind of love. But posting here means you're unsure.... just spark it up before your relationship gone down hill

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

First love is the highest drug... I dnt think u can never get dat feeling like dat anymore. But, thread lightly if ur still chatting with ur ex. Just saying

[Rhia]

hi thanks for the replies... honestly i have no feelings towards my ex whatsoever. i only bump into him as we live in the same village. I would never ever go back there as i can still remember all the things that made me dump him! like i said, it' not him it's that feeling.
it's nice to know that other people think their first love is the most intense, i'm just worried i'm missing out. i mean, do people get those 'can't breathe, can't eat' feelings towards their second or third love? i did at the beginning but they soon went after i fell pregnant obviously as we moved in together and see eachother every day. We still have a decent sex life and stuff. i dont really know why im complaining. Guess i'm just mourning that first love feeling

[justcheckin]

Im a guy and I dunno if this will help/hurt but I know the feeling you are talking about (with my first girlfriend, we were in "love" for sure) and out break up wasn't the best. That was 5, 6 years ago? I have had many relationships since then and none of them have had that same "spark". HOWEVER, this girl that I have been talking to lately has really opened my eyes in the "feelings" department, and I can honestly say that I feel somewhat like I did with my first girlfriend 5 or 6 years ago.

[vashti]

It's a bit late to be worried about chasing that high again. You are someone's momma, and what is good for her is more important than what is fun for you, and trust me when I say that unless her father is a genuine asshole, you kid will be better off with her own father around, and not having to deal with new boyfriends and girlfriends, not to mention the possibility of new unrelated siblings.

Suck it up, girl.