What should I tell her....How honest should I be?

[Mrvhappy]

Hi,

I had a wonderful/fantastic relationship with an ex (Sophie),we even talked about marriage. We were always 100% honest with each other.Anyway we split some time ago as I was working abroad and she couldnt handle a LDR. The break up was tough on us both. Even friend/family were shocked.(she later told me that her mother had begun to get her wedding dress ready!!). After the spilt, I guess we both moved on

She recently tracked me down via Facebook & FR, and we met up for a drink & meal. We talked for ages, just like we did when we were together and we were 100% honest with each other...she told me a lot of personal stuff(so did I) which surprised me considering the time we have been apart.(more a catch up/getting to know each other rather than remenising about the time we were together). On the nite we made constant eye contact ALL nite. The only time that she/I looked away was when we told each other about things that had deeply hurt us. (for me it was my dad dying)

She seemed very keen/interested in my hobbies/sports/interests that I now play/have and wanted to know where I hung out.

She kept asking me why I wasnt married..her comments were.."...god I thought you'd been snapped up ages ago..". She said this 2x during our evening meal & 1x on the phone the 1st nite we spoke. I told her that I had been close a couple of times, but things were complicated.

The thing is, I told her a white lie. I guess the closest I had been to getting married was when we were together. I have had many other realtionships since then..but she was VERY special. There was one other lady, who I considered, but she turned out to be very nasty when we were on a break..due to my work load/travelling.

I am due to meet Sophie again soon(her idea at the end of our last meet), and I know that she will ask the q again. The Dilemma I have is Do I tell her as I hate telling lies..even if they are a little white lie.

BTW the chemisrty/affection between us is still there. I'm not sure if she wants to try again or why she has suddenly decided to track me down. I dont want ot be in a realtionship with her as she is married. If she were single, I guess we could see. Saying goodnite after the meet up was as difficult now as it was back then. But this time we only kissed on the cheek and hugged. I dont think that either of us wanted to let go.

All of this has left me very confused recently...not able to concentrate @ work, sleep etc since she contacted me.Alot of feelings have resurfaced and I was shocked that we still go on SOOO well and that the spark/chemistry was still very much alive n kicking after such a long time apart.

She has phoned me several times, but each time we speak she sounds very sad/unhappy. We dont talk for long on the phone (as we didnt back then ) as we both liked to talk in person.

Sorry I am terribly confused at the moment, I cant think straight.Please dont judge me. I dont want to do anything wrong/improper. I dont know what to do/think. This has really blown me away.

Sorry to ramble on. I just want to meet her again and try to find out whats going on with her and find out why she has tracked me down. She must have known how dangerous that would have been didnt she?. I mean how many people would contact "the one" (for both)after you break up and why?

I have tried dating during this time, and am trying to move on again

At work I have to be very diplomatic I am always 100% honest with family/friends/G/F's. People tell me that is one of my best attributes.
The Q once again is She is MARRIED!! so do I tell her or not?

Thanks for your support in advance & pls dont judge me/Sophie..I guess we cant help our feelings & chemistry

[sparkle_jello]

I feel for your situation. I have heard that sites like facebook and myspace are actually causing these issues with many couples. Personally, I think you should no longer meet up with her because it will only complicate things.
To share a little insight I had an ex track me down like 4 years ago and we met up for drinks. I was married and as all people knows there are ups and downs in marriages, I was at a low point. Throughout the meeting he kept telling me how he regretted letting me go and tried very hard to get me back.
Let me tell you, I am SO happy I resisted. I almost caved and did something I would regret every day for the rest of my life. I love my husband more than anything, all relationships have good times and bad. Don't be her one regret.

[Mrvhappy]

Hi there sparkle_jello

Thanks for getting back to me and sharing your experience

During my meet up with Sophie, we didnt speak about our relationship at all. Just about our lives since we last met.

One thing that I noticed about her is how much she had been hurt/was hurting by her hubby & circumstances of her family. Seeing this incrediable sadness in her bought a tear to my heart, which surprised me.

As I said before, I am not looking to get back with her, I just want to know why she has suddenly come into my life after all these yrs of no contact and then ask me THAT question. Was she looking for me to Say.." I havent loved anyone as much as I loved you...?"