Heartbroken... How to get ex back?

[flow90]

My ex and I met this time last year, he was the one to pursue me. I initially held back as I had been hurt a lot before in previous relationships, but he kept telling me he wanted to be with me and would never hurt me, so I gave him a chance.

Soon enough we fell for eachother hard, we had a very intense relationship, we fell deeply in love, spent a lot of time with eachother every day.. both said we had never felt this way before, both said we had never been happier... it was pretty much amazing, the sex got more and more amazing and we were so happy with one another.

However 4/5 months later his friends began to complain to him that he wasn't seeing them that much nor going out with them that much, and so he began to go out with them more and began to be a bit more distant with me. This is when arguments began to creep up, as I began to feel insecure that he wasn't feeling the same way anymore, etc... I started to get jealous of other girls he might be meeting when he went out with his friends. Its not that I didnt trust him (but because ex's have cheated on me in the past) I did become a bit more suspicious. Also because I felt like I was losing him slowly, I would hold onto him tighter and became more clingy.

This made us argue and caused us to drift apart, and eventually he wanted us to take a break for a few days. I understood because I could see how I was starting to become more clingy and starting to trust him less than I used to... so I tried to work on myself, but after a few days he told me he made a mistake and desperately wanted us to be back to how we used to be.

After this we had our final exams at university, and we were both extremely stressed and arguments crept up once again... because he was soo stressed out he said he couldn't take the arguing anymore and ended it. I was obviously distraught. I begged for him to take me back and give us another chance, I just wanted us to be as happy as we were at the beginning. But he kept saying he just couldn't be in a relationship.

We agreed we didn't want to lose eachother in our lives. We agreed to keep in touch, because he knew I wanted him back and he said that he was sure we'd end up together.

For 2 months I waited for him to take me back, we spoke nearly every day, and after the first month of our separation I could sense he wanted me back.
He kept telling me how much he missed me and wanted to see me and he was having second thoughts, and wondered if we would ever work again.
I told him that if we both want to make it work then it will, and if we really love each other we should give eachother that chance.

He finally told me he did want us to have another chance as we still loved eachother and missed eachother so much, he said that if we didn't work out then at least we knew we gave it another shot and that if it didn't work and we can finally move on with our lives.

I was so happy and so excited to see him, when we reunited it was amazing, and felt just like old times. However I expected us to talk about the previous break up as I never really understood why it ended if he still loved me, and told me all the time how amazing and special I was. I expected us to talk about our issues, about why we always argued, so that this time round the relationship would work better. But when I tried talking to him he said, 'lets just see how things go, I have nothing to say'. So I just kept quiet.

The thing is, we began arguing about stupid things, and after 2 weeks he ended it. (By the way I feel like I should say that his hometown is far away from mine so I went to visit him for 2 weeks to try and make things work, so we spent 24/7 together for 2 weeks after not seeing eachother for 2 months) He said we tried to make it work but we just cant be together. He said we are too different and that is why we argue.

I however disagree, I think we argued because we didn't sort out our issues from the previous break up, and I don't think we are too different otherwise we wouldn't have been so happy together for so long, nor would we love eachother, nor we would have thought our relationship was that amazing. I also think we argued because we spent so much time together after being apart for so long, and didn't really have our own space. He however thinks that we shouldn't have argued seeing as we hadn't seen eachother in 2 months.

I couldn't convince him, I tried and tried, I called him numerous times crying to him, telling him to not give up on love, to remember the good amazing times we had... He just said that the sexual chemistry we have is amazing but not enough...

I just don't understand him cos he's trying to make out that we don't get along at all, but its not true. We do get along well and we have a laugh, and yes the chemistry is amazing.... but i believe these arguments happened cos I felt that he took me for granted, because I always went back to him, and always waited for him.. He basically treated me like a doormat, and I feel if we had sorted out our issues we would have been fine.
Anyway I eventually decided to leave him alone as I knew I was going the wrong way about trying to get him back, and he was getting pretty annoyed with me calling him, texting him, emailing him etc... So I have now kept No Contact for a week... He hasn't tried to contact me, nor has he told me anything about not wanting to lose me, like last time when we broke up.

I was hoping to keep the No Contact for another few weeks,and then contact him again when I felt I had worked on myself and my life and feeling more emotionally stable, to try and rebuild a friendly relationship.

Do you think this is the right way to go about it? Or should I not bother at all, seeing as he doesn't seem interested. How can he lose so much interest if he apparently loved me so much? Should I wait till he contacts me? What if he never does?

I wanted to know what your techniques/strategies were to get your ex back. What do you recommend I do?

Thank you! and sorry for the long post!!!

[Sonrisa]

what were the arguments about?

[flow90]

what arguments? do you mean from when we tried again? basically i wanted us to talk about the previous break up and got upset he wouldn't talk to me about everything. another argument when we were trying again, was that he was always playng computer games when i went to visit him, and i felt like he wasn't really making any effort.

[Sonrisa]

why did the previous break up happen?

[flow90]

We had our final exams and were both really stressed out, and it put a huge strain on our relationship. we were arguing a lot because we were both stressed and so he couldnt take the stress anymore

[Sonrisa]

So you broke up because of stress and wanted to further discuss it?

[flow90]

Did you not read my original post?

[Sonrisa]

that's exactly my point. think about it.

[Ret]

Getting back an ex should be questioned first, if that will be your best choice. Is he worthy? Are you worthy for him? Are your relationship be worthy? If you will answer Yes to these questions, then you can do and get him back with all your strength.

[Sonrisa]

Hey, Ret, where are you from, smart cookie? I am not good with flags of the world.