She's watching photos from our past...

[just-me]

They called me obsessed on another forum, so I probably am.

Anyway, I decided to do a little detective work and see what's in her head when she's alone, because that's when real feelings come out. I used my laptop to log into her computer and checked recent documents and browser history and results were surprising.
She came back from California on Thursday and she was home all night Thursday and Friday, which alone is highly unusual for her, and she was watching our photos and listening to some love songs on youtube! No photos from her vacation, OUR photos! Two days in the row she went through photos of our beginning, our favorite road trip and the night we always remembered as special, winter in Central Park. I may be wrong but I don't think watching our memories can make a person feel good only a month after break up and two days in a row! I'm wondering if she's just starting to realize what she's done and started thinking fondly about us or what? She keeps texting the new guy still though. Any input is appreciated.

I know she's not gonna ask me for forgiveness no matter what, so I'm trying to figure out what's the best moment to drop her a call or should I just wait until she calls. I didn't answer her calls in the past so she may not even bother trying. She's very proud and stubborn.

[Boisdevie]

Jeezus guy. Do not spy on her - are you sick or something. Get over it and move on.

[just-me]

Ever went through you gf's text messages? Most people did at some point, I don't think it's sick, maybe just a little on extreme side. I've never done it myself because I trusted her. At least not until now. Why get over if there is still a chance?
Maybe it was a little extreme of me but I had this suspicion and wanted to know. Turns out I was right, she's not as cold and senseless as she appears to be. Having some feelings is better than no feelings at all.

[robinfisichella]

You shouldnt have gone through her stuff, but seeing as you know how i guess its very hard to resist, and i cant really blame you for it.

You should get back together, being loved by someone is precious, dont waste it.

[Boisdevie]

Ever went through you gf's text messages?

No. You didn't just go through her text messages, you logged into her computer to have a good look round. It's way on the extreme side and if I was her I'd tell you to get lost

[cmacattack1]

I've gone through my ex's text messages on two occasions. I was wrong for doing so. She was wrong for not voicing her opinions of her ex talking to her and keeping me in the dark about it. Me and her were both wrong and if there isn't any trust in a relationship, it's destined for doom anyway. If you can't trust her, you shouldn't be with her. She isn't something you have to keep your eyes on at all times.

So you guys broke up. Yeah, it's pretty typical to go through all the old things and sulk in your sadness. Eventually she'll get sick of it and go out and live life or maybe possibly delete your photos to "help her" move on. Your focus shouldn't be on getting her back, it should be on how to live life without her in it. So logging onto her computer and invading her privacy isn't helping you. It's hurting you and your progress and your growth.

We all break up, and we all find ways to deal. I never found this to be very helpful. I would advise not to and start concentrating on other things, even if she is all you think about. You have to push through this somehow.

[breacliff]

Thanks for sharing. Just like you, i have been experiencing that also. lol. Just think of this, God has the reason why it all happens.

[angel2002]

They called me obsessed on another forum, so I probably am.

Anyway, I decided to do a little detective work and see what's in her head when she's alone, because that's when real feelings come out. I used my laptop to log into her computer and checked recent documents and browser history and results were surprising.
She came back from California on Thursday and she was home all night Thursday and Friday, which alone is highly unusual for her, and she was watching our photos and listening to some love songs on youtube! No photos from her vacation, OUR photos! Two days in the row she went through photos of our beginning, our favorite road trip and the night we always remembered as special, winter in Central Park. I may be wrong but I don't think watching our memories can make a person feel good only a month after break up and two days in a row! I'm wondering if she's just starting to realize what she's done and started thinking fondly about us or what? She keeps texting the new guy still though. Any input is appreciated.

I know she's not gonna ask me for forgiveness no matter what, so I'm trying to figure out what's the best moment to drop her a call or should I just wait until she calls. I didn't answer her calls in the past so she may not even bother trying. She's very proud and stubborn.

Hey, teach me how to do it lol

[just-me]

It's not that hard really, we had local network set up in our house, all computers were connected and drives shared. Once I log in on our wireless network I still have access to all shared drives. I know most people don't agree with my method but it helped me a lot. It didn't really bring me closure, but I'm getting close now. It helped me realize that she's not a bad person and what we had was real. She remembers. She's acting cold and heartless because she doesn't wanna give me false hope. She was actually committed and wanted to save our relationship, but one can't control his heart. She fell in love and and didn't think about consequences or chances about having successful long distance relationship. I know because she did the same thing for me. We both did and basically screwed our lives for each other. I thought that would make our bond inseparable. I guess it was too much pressure for her.
I still love her and miss her. It will be hard to completely get over a person you're getting along so well and had bond like no other. If we just met under different circumstances things could have been different.

[angel2002]

well i understand you, and i donth think what u did was wrong, id probably do the same thing. i hope you guys can work it out, it seems theres till love but some things are getting in the way. hope u guys work it out
good luck

[just-me]

Thnks for understanding. Spying is probably not the best thing to do but neither is seducing someone's else girlfriend with a little help of ecstasy. She seems happy for now so I won't be getting on her way, we'll see what happens next. I know for sure that her friends are trying to get some info about me, her best friend asked me few times to help him fix his car which he never did before in five years. her other friend asked her ex bf about me too, and I never really liked that girl. I know she even had me in her dreams :-) some people just talk too much.
I'm just not sure anymore if I will want her back if something doesn't happen soon. My feelings for her are slowly dying... Right now I think I miss more the life we had and all the good times than her.

[ginastar]

hey, i think it is completely normal to do what you did. I think everyone does it. I do. I look at my ex-s email everyday and I have plenty of friends that do the same thing. sometimes it helps, and sometimes it prevents you from moving on like other people mentioned. Anyway, I dont know what it means that she was looking through your photos. I mean obviously she misses you...but will she come back to you , who knows. but let her contact you. let her continue missing you until she needs to speak with you. I actually am in the middle of doing the same thing and oddly enough I know my ex has been thinking about me from looking at his emails. Kind of same situation..

[just-me]

yeah, I guess I'm not as crazy as they say lol. I mean it's not like I posted her naked pictures online, I'd never do something like that.

Well, she actually texted me today with a question, I called her back, we had a nice chat and it seems like that's all she was waiting for. She called me twice afterward! last time she called to see if I could give her a ride to the club, she said she would pay (I drive a cab now to pay my bills). I was busy so I just told her "I'll call u back", then she texted me "call me", then she called again all in less that 10 minutes. I called her back and asked what's so urgent, she was like "are you close, could you give me a ride, I'll pay you of course". I told her I'm far and why the hell she didn't call a cab. She said she wanted to see if I can pick her up. Again, just like earlier today, we exchanged couple of f**k you, jokingly, just the way we used to do sometimes when we were together. I had feeling she wanted to talk more but I just said "gotta go, bye" and hung up.
Dunno what to think really. I mean if she wants to be friends still it's a little bit pushy after a month of NC and after I told her that we will have to work on rebuilding our friendship. SHe also seemed eager to see me. First she wanted me to come and pick up some of my stuff, then she invited me to a friends bbq party and lastly she wanted me to pick her up! wtf?
I checked my phone record (family plan) and she's been texting her guy less and less. I'm not sure what she wants, it did give me a little hope, then again she's not a person who would go out of her way to get me back. At least she didn't seem like when she broke up with me. I guess I'll just wait, the time will show. At least she laughs and sounds excited when we talk over the phone and close to the end of our relationship we were not really laughing that much.
She even contacted one of our mutual friends who she's been avoiding since break up and txted her "i miss you". They talked on the phone and this friend told me that she was her old self and wanted to see her.

[ginastar]

wow thats great. now let her come to you all the time. let her text and intiate the talking. Keep us posted! I wanna know what happens.
How long was she with this other guy now?

[just-me]

I'll keep you posted. I'm not going to call her, if she wants something she'll have to fight for it.

She's been with him for about a month. we broke up on 08.20. and she stayed with him the very same night. She met him around 08.05. I guess it's been just enough time for butterflies to go away. They are in long distance relationship so he's not really there for her. I know she's alone and lonely almost as much as I am. That gives a person time to think.

But things are moving on pretty good for me now. I got myself a date for tomorrow first one in 5 years, I feel a little nervous. Thank god for txt messages, I have no idea if I'd manage to get a date over the phone or in person. Fear of rejection I guess.