I think I messed up a fantastic relationship help

[peartree]

Hi - I have no one to talk to about this my family think Im pathetic - I have been seeing this guy for one year now - he has been lovely - he has no children I do have teenagers, and he has met my family briefly. The issue is he has an elderly relative who has moved into his place, prior to this they also did, then went away for short while, then moved back in. I used to go to his place lots, but when the relative moved back in he stopped inviting me, and he came to mine most the time, I have mentioned this to him a few times that I would like to go to his place, and he has said I am welcome, but no definite invite - so I left it, I had a go at him on the phone two days ago, saying that I was close to where he lived the other day and didn't feel I could call in, he says he told me I was welcome and that I have misunderstood him, I called him cocky and selfish and now he is ignoring my texts - phone calls - I am in turmoil, is this the end, have I ruined everything. Any advice please welcome.

[kitkitkitty]

a slight over reaction on your behalf there... i mean you're still seeing each other, right? and as he said you're welcome, you should arrange to go out and go back to his for the night or something. fair enough he could ask you over too, but i think this older relative could feel uncomfortable with a 'young couple' hanging out around them, they have pretty different views on relationships compared to the younger generations. id say apologise, that you over reacted and that you shouldn't have said what you did. what else can you do really....

[lahnnabell]

Well, perhaps he finds his particular situation to be rather inconvenient for your relationship. I mean, when you are with him you want his attention, right? Perhaps that isn't possible while he's got this other person staying with him. However, it would have been better for him to explain the circumstances more explicitly to you so that you didn't feel shut out. I don't like to know that the person I am seeing is blatantly shutting me out of a significant part of their life. Have you ever met this relative of his?

I mean, I find it hard to believe that there is anything shady going on when he said you're welcome to come over. Perhaps he just wants to be at home as little as possible. You really don't know the circumstances because you guys aren't communicating. Give him a few days to cool down, 'cause you truly overreacted.