Cheating on Boyfriend- what Do I do?

[Profligacy]

Just to clarify from the start, I am a male and the 3rd party in a relationship of 5 years between a male and female couple. Here is my problem...

I am in love with this girl hannah, who has been together with my good friend Kevin for 5 years. Her and my history has been one of extreme sexual tension (which we both have discussed before). I cheated on my ex-gf with her a few times and now she seems to be cheating on her boyfriend (my good friend) with me to some extent. Recently we have been getting on extremely well and love each others company, however, in the last couple of weeks on a few drunken occasions we have kissed (an action of disloyalty to her bf). She has told me that she really likes me, as I do her, and claims she is planning to "break-up" with Kevin. However, my short-term dilemma is this... She goes back to university (3rd year), next friday and has invited me over to her free house to watch a film before she goes back to uni. Essentially, i believe if I go there there is a strong possibility of us 2 having sex.

I do not in any way want her to cheat on kevin (who has always been loyal), however, my arguement for bedding her would be that ive already been an instrument in her cheating thus far (via the kissing), so what harm if we have sex, seeing as we have already done the cheating. Do I need to clear things up, do I go and see her, or not at all.

Disclaimer: Please I urge you to remember that I do hold the view of bro's before ho's.

[vashti]

You should stay away from Hannah, and you know it. THere is a big difference between a kiss and having sex. You college kids should already know this.

[Profligacy]

I fail to see the big difference, which ironically is something being at college has actually taught me. Ok what if there was going to be no sex when I see her next week? Just literally watching a film, should I proceed, does that change things?

[kitkitkitty]

bro's before ho's generally includes not doing anything physical with your mates girl... or is she magically an exception. and going over with probably lead to sex? if you let it, yes it may do. one way or another, karma's gona bite both of you in the ass and you're gona be left without your good male friend. you're both deceiving this poor guy and you're trying to find reasonning in what you're doing. to be honest, if you do end up having sex you 2 deserve each other. except you know that you could cheat on each other if you get into a relationship? that's a nice thought isn't it.

[Profligacy]

Ok i really dont want to isolate myself on these forums as its a great community...


kitkitkitty - a.) theres no such thing as karma, b.) I agree that we are trying to find a loop hole or an excuse for us to do what we are doing. This is not just about sex, or physicality, we get on so well and love the company. Should i just say to her "look, are u dumping this fella or not?", "this is wrong... "

I feel your response kitkitkitty was slightly tedious and unnecessarily acerbic .

[kitkitkitty]

there you go, again you're trying to find loop-holes in what me and vashti have said. c'mon what did you expect from us? you came here for opinions so we're giving them to you.
and i read the 'disclaimer' bit wrong so my bad. but seriously... ho's before bro's? carry on that way and you're gona be a very lonely person.

[Profligacy]

Im saying to you that I agree with you. Yes we are trying to find loop holes. So your telling me that I should just not talk to her and everything yea, is that your advice?

[kitkitkitty]

yes, just leave it.

[Profligacy]

well thanks sincerely for your advice, but i wont be taking it seeing as ive known the girl 10 years! and cannot fathom breaking complete contact from her.

[vashti]

I think you should tell her you won't be seeing her anymore if she is dating the other guy, and I think you should mean it.

Also, I don't see how you will be able to maintain a friendship with that guy.

I understand that sometimes love just happens, and people get hurt, even unintentionally. I am not even willing to say that it won't be worth it. But you know its risky, and your friend probably won't be able to forgive you, nor should he be expected to. I just hope for your sake she is worth it.

[Profligacy]

ok vashti you make sense. I wont be going around her house, im going to ring her and set it straight. I can appreciate that this situation is relatively complex and hard to communicate such personalities and feelings into something as 2-d as a forum.

regards.