I'm on the other side of the world from my partner of 6 years who recently went back to Australia. She felt she had lost her independece largely because of my ultimatum, which went something like 'if you want to take drugs i won't be around for it'.
She has a difficult life story which needed a lot of repair. I was there for some of that healing and was very emotionally invested - a little too much. You need to understand that something like 60% of young people take drugs socially before 30 and I don't really have a problem when my friends still do.
I can't reconcile her need to go back and do it all again (e's, coke, meth, speed). I worry about the destructiveness of these things. I have found a happy path which is natural and drug free (except for some alcohol). I feel our paths have split because of my anti-drug stance.
For me, the risk of hurting people surrounding you if drug taking goes bad, and the suffering caused by the drug trade (google cocaine wars) are things I can't accept. The 'want' of my partner is too great and she says I should just let things be, -- she also wishes I would 'let loose' with her!!
I can't go back to be with her because I feel our differences of opinion will always be so far apart. She is stubbornly independent about making these choices.
We are 30 and were to be married but I couldn't face up to this if she was still doing things we were doing at age 19. I'm very much past the stage of needing or wanting drugs in my life.
I'm sure she would get past this hurdle one day, and for now I think sometimes I should accept it every once in a while. There is so much else to love about her, except this one $&$"*! problem which has split us apart! I need to make a decision soon and stick to it! This is not a situation many friends and family could understand, your help would be appreciated. I would love to hear your thoughts.