He's ignoring me after treating me like a queen!

[lahnnabell]

Can someone explain why seemingly intelligent young women who have degrees and jobs consistently date deadbeats who have neither and are shocked, shocked, when their deadbeat lovers treat them as sexual playthings and toss them aside on a mercurial whim?

You shouldn't be with people for WHO THEY ARE, you should be with them for who they are striving to become. Don't be ashamed to expect something more from your partners. You busted your ass through college. You bust your ass at work every day. You deserve someone who has done likewise, who can think on your level, who can, if marriage is ever on the horizon, contribute to providing for a good, safe livelihood for both you and your offspring. Show some goddamn pride. Show some goddamn taste. I'm so sick of seeing otherwise intelligent women with mind-bogglingly stupid, go-nowhere guys who are all flash and no substance.

WHY do you women want that!? What the HELL is wrong with you? Don't get me wrong. I'm not jealous. I exploit that myself. Oh how I exploit it. But why in the hell does it work so well?? How am I supposed to respect women when they're all a bunch of gullible rubes with not one iota of self-respect?

I love this response.

[Nybeauty02]

Gribble, I understand what you are saying and yes, I think about that alot - the BIGGER picture. However, I think you're someone who likes to argue for the sake of arguing. The bottomline is he treated me like a QUEEN. To be with a deadbeat means you're paying for everything, he's an idiot, a loser, etc. He has to support his mother, his sister, take care of his niece. He is NO deadbeat. Is he where he should be at age 25? No, certainly not. But there's a difference! Go argue somewhere else. You're someone that gets off solely on the reactions.

[Gigabitch]

I treated him so well. Cared about him so much.

Sure you did. Right up until the time you dumped his ass because his car broke down. He's probably posting a thread on here right now about "I treated her like a queen and she turned on me".

Did you think you could take that back, like it never happened? Or when you said "when I'm done, I'm done", he wouldn't hear that as an ultimatum? You've made it plenty clear that he's not up to your standards, so this:

But he IS good enough for me. He's MORE than good enough for me...

sounds like bullshit to me, and probably to him as well.

[WaiKru]

Sounds like he should have had more ambition to become a better drug dealer.

[Nybeauty02]

first of all, I am not going to made to look like a b*tch because I asserted myself and at that point at time, didn't think it would work when he had NO CAR AND NO PLAN. His car BROKE DOWN FOR GOOD. We live 45 minutes away from eachother. I wasn't nasty about it, I just told him I didn't think it would work out. I wasn't like "omg ur such a loser, don't ever call me again!". OF COURSE NOT!

And he IS good enough for me. Okay maybe I needed him to be gone to see what I had.

I will give him all the time in the world, as long as he can get over this. I just don't know if he can or will or wants to.

I want him back. I am willing to do anything and everything to get him back.

[Nybeauty02]

I just wanted to thank you all for all the responses - even the "mean" ones! However after careful thought, consideration and many tears, I have decided that I am just going to move on. I was certainly wrong in breaking up with him, and the way in which I did it, but I have apologized and done all I can do. At the end of the day, I do not think ignoring me is right and something I deserved after being so good to him. I have decided that it's probably best if we go our separate ways, I can't be with someone who has tortured me like this.

Thanks for "listening"!

[Gribble]

You're "welcome".

[teel]

As it was said before, insecurity. Reading your story I know I would have done the same. He probably felt from the beginning you're way out of his league, and I'm sorry to say that, but you poured concrete over that by breaking up and after that making demands. I understand you meant it as a continuous improvement, but what you asked takes a lot of time, and he feels that you will not stand beside him for a few years so that he can get his act together. Try to appreciate a guy for what he has and overlook what he's missing - if you can't do that, find someone else for whom you can.

[Nybeauty02]

Vin, I wasn't to blame for this and neither were his insecurities. I put the puzzle pieces together and have figured out this is how he deals with things. He runs. He's had more than 1 "crazy" girl vandalize his car. That was a red flag I ignored. Clearly he just flips a switch and moves on, driving the woman utterly insane.

I don't think he cares at all. He's someone who doesn't react well when problems arise, and that is not someone I want or need in my life.

The good news is I gave up after 2.5 days. I'm sure he's expecting me to do something else or be crazy like the rest but I'm just gonna move on with my life...even if it kills me.

[Nybeauty02]

No this wasn't my fault. He's an obvious runner. Even if he fled because of whatever the reason, this is how he deals with problems and I don't want or need someone like that in my life.

[Gigabitch]

Duplicate threads merged. One thread on each topic, please.

[fi123]

I would have dumped you if i was a guy. Too much drama, too much to-ing and fro-ing and messing with my head and to cap it all you make me feel like shit because you make me feel like i'm not good enough for you.

[Nybeauty02]

Yeah, sure - it was MY fault. Got it.

That's a load of bull. He wanted out. You don't ignore someone like that you were supposedly falling in love with. It's cruel. All he had to do was say something. I was genuinely worried something had happened. All the pieces fit. He's a runner and this is what he does. I don't want someone like that anyway.

And trust me, I always made him feel comfortable. Any insecurities were his own!

[fi123]

There are so many contradictions in the above paragraph i don't know where to start... so i won't.

At the end of the day it sounds like you rub each other up the wrong way and you weren't a good match.

You've already decided to move on...so do it.

Or have you?? You keep posting...

[Nybeauty02]

Oh, please do.

Look. I know I shouldn't have dumped him over something so small - that was MY fault. And in 6 weeks, I never got "on him" for his "situation" but you have to understand.... now he had no job, no car, no money and we live 45 minutes away from one another. I just didn't think it was going to work.

I get that I probably made him feel like sh*t and I was harsh, and I feel terrible, but at the end of the day when I wanted to apologize, he wouldn't listen to me. He told me if I wanted to work things out to call and I did, and he ignored me. But what YOU are failing to see is that this is an obvious pattern with him. Grown mature adult men don't flee like that. There is a reason he has so many "crazy exes".

So yes, while I think my actions TRIGGERED this initially, this is obviously how he deals with things. And that's not something I think I deserve. The bottomline is he would've done this at some point over something else.