He curses me all the time...

[angel2002]

and angel, it was YOU that forced HIM to apologise. he didn't even have the decency to do that.

I know, he is a mess and im more than him cause ive been accepting this thing but its gonna be over soon.
Thanks

[angel2002]

Good luck Angel. Do it someplace 'publicly private' so he can't freak out on you. Post an update when you can.

Alright I will. Thanks

[angel2002]

One of my friend's exes kept verbally abusing her. They were on and off a lot at that point and now they're off again. She told me that he apologized every time. And yet he kept doing it. Once you cross the line and say something hurtful, the line just get's smudged and eventually fades away.

I agree with you. Thats why he keeps doing it and apologizing.
Im done with it, I will post news soon
Thanks

[angel2002]

For Angel:

I GOT FLOWERS TODAY

• • •
I got flowers today!
It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day;
We had our first argument last night; And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt;
I know that he is sorry and didn’t mean to say the things he said;
Because he sent me flowers today.
• • •
I got flowers today!
It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day;
Last night he threw me into a wall and then started choking me;
It seemed like a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares to find they aren’t real.
• • •
I got flowers today!
And it wasn’t Valentine’s Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me;
Make-up and long-sleeves didn’t hide the cuts and bruises this time;
I couldn’t go to work today because I didn’t want anyone to know-but I know he’s sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.
• • •
I got flowers today!
And it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me again, and it was much worse than all of the other times;
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about money?
I’m afraid of him, but I’m too scared and dependent to leave him! But he must be sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.
• • •
I got flowers today…Today was a very special day—it was the day of my funeral;
Last night he finally killed me—I was beaten to death;
If only I would have gathered the courage and strength to leave him;
The women’s shelter could have helped me, but I didn’t ask for their help;
So I got flowers today…for the last time.
• • •

Copyright 1992 c by Paulette Kelly

Yes i realize where this relationship might take me. Thanks for your post

[girl68]

we'd like to hear of a success story. post your update.

[angel2002]

Hi guys its me again:
I didnt break up with him and things keep getting worse. I just dont understand why its such a hard thing to do when u are treated like a crap all the time. Ive never been like this before him, i never let a man talk over me or control me. Seems hes got my mind, and he even says our problems are my fault and make me feel guilty, like im the insane one, and overreacting, and that hes just acting this way in response for my behavior.
I got to a point where i dont know if the evil is me or him. I feel so weird. I wanna let him go, but i cantm seems something is holding me from doing it. Yesterday i did something really bad to me, kind of hurt myself, because i couldnt take the curses anymore, and he things hes not wrong at all, he thinks im the wrong one and even when i had hurt myself yesterday he acted cold and not caring.
Why am i with someone thats bringing nothing but pain to me yet?
i sincerely dont know how to get rid ofthis part of my life, seems im stuck in this cicle where everything he does is normal and in response to my behavior which i see nothing wrong bout it
thx for reading, please dont be hard on me, im feeling like trash enough already

[adam95]

well do you feel scared of being alone, as in not in a relationship?
you can clearly see that he is mistreating you. do you feel that your in some kind of weird comfort zone by being with him?
we need to figure out what it is that is holding you back.

[angel2002]

well do you feel scared of being alone, as in not in a relationship?
you can clearly see that he is mistreating you. do you feel that your in some kind of weird comfort zone by being with him?
we need to figure out what it is that is holding you back.

I dont know what is this i feel. i have a 5 year old daughter but he doesnt help us financially, i mean i work for it. even when im in a real bad situation he doesnt offer a penny. its not financial. he doesnt even know for sure when we can have a life together and this is already this bad. i bet hes gonna kill me lol when we are together for good.
i dont know if i feel scared of being alone, may be the frustration after 3 failed relationships to start all over, i dont know adam
i need help

[girl68]

tell your friends and all your family how he treats you they won't LET you stay.

the cherry on top you've just taught your daughter that its okay for a man to treat you like shit. if at the very least leave on HER account.

[adam95]

I dont know what is this i feel. i have a 5 year old daughter but he doesnt help us financially, i mean i work for it. even when im in a real bad situation he doesnt offer a penny. its not financial. he doesnt even know for sure when we can have a life together and this is already this bad. i bet hes gonna kill me lol when we are together for good.
i dont know if i feel scared of being alone, may be the frustration after 3 failed relationships to start all over, i dont know adam
i need help

well as girl said, tell your friends and family, then you know you're not alone. and there is no frustration in starting a relationship. yeah you probably have a bad opinion regarding this cause of your failed relationships but honestly believe me, when you separate you and your daughter from him, you'll feel like a brand new life has started for you two. and after a while and you might find a guy whose just absolutely crazy about you and your daughter. you have to find the strength to let go and i think you can only get it with the help of those around you.

[adam95]

my mother is in a similar situation as you are. my dad doesnt hit her but he has cheated on her three times and again he has a new girlfriend just 4 years older than me!
no matter how many times i tell mom that he's never going to change and that she'll just be depressed living with him, she still won't leave. she tells me that if he wants a divorce, she'll gladly give it to him but she won't initiate it. i told her that why would he want to separate from you? you cook for him ,clean for him , take care of him and you let him go with other women.after a million talks with mom she's finally thinking about doing it. just thinking about it, not actually doing it yet. now i told all her friends and theyre trying to put some sense into her, and i think its working. so please talk to someone, get some help and save yourself. i dont want you to end up like my mom, living unhappily for 22 years. i dont want your daughter to be convincing you to leave him.
doing the right thing is very difficult and every single part of you wouldnt want to do it, but in your heart you know it was the right thing and you'll see that you'll get nothing but more happiness from it in the long run.

[angel2002]

my mother is in a similar situation as you are. my dad doesnt hit her but he has cheated on her three times and again he has a new girlfriend just 4 years older than me!
no matter how many times i tell mom that he's never going to change and that she'll just be depressed living with him, she still won't leave. she tells me that if he wants a divorce, she'll gladly give it to him but she won't initiate it. i told her that why would he want to separate from you? you cook for him ,clean for him , take care of him and you let him go with other women.after a million talks with mom she's finally thinking about doing it. just thinking about it, not actually doing it yet. now i told all her friends and theyre trying to put some sense into her, and i think its working. so please talk to someone, get some help and save yourself. i dont want you to end up like my mom, living unhappily for 22 years. i dont want your daughter to be convincing you to leave him.
doing the right thing is very difficult and every single part of you wouldnt want to do it, but in your heart you know it was the right thing and you'll see that you'll get nothing but more happiness from it in the long run.

thanks so much for your advice, its very kind and nice thanks Adam i know i gotta do something, and i know what to do just need to give the first step.
thanks