Why does my brother act in these ways?need advice and help on this,,,,

[grantqw]

even in our 30's he still wants to try to tell me what to do,never really compliments me for anything good i've done,doesn't even take note of what i've accomplish and orovercome.I just freaking hate his guts at times.I wonder if he knows it.He comes acros these ways and wonders why i don't visit his kids etc...and or see him at family functions.What is his deal?i can understand it if you are teens,but even up to now he is like this.He has acted really supportive of me in some ways,but it's those other ways he acts that really makes me hate his *** sometimes.Do you think he knows it..?he also tries to tel;l me what to do(in an annoying way)Last time i saw him i just hugged him and the didn't talk to him much.........We are all artists so i thought we would have common bond,but even at our age v32(me) and he's 37 it's like he wants to feel better and does stupid actions(ones that can make me go off)wrongly He's acts like a piece of crap....even my brother of 12 years older gets along better with me and is MUCH more supportive.Is my older brother delusional?the middle one i'm complaining about..I'm fit and go to the gym and he's fat(he's constantly got problems with his health because he doesn't take care of himself or his diet), so i wonder if that has something to do.Grown freaking men and he still acts like this...why can't he just admit that he has shortcomings and just can't measure up instead of being a moron about things?


I even went off to him to his face one time,and he still

[VincenzoG91]

He is jealous of your accomplishments and feels better about himself when he puts you down. If I were you, I would secretly feel sorry for him but minimize contact. Just because you're brothers doesn't mean that you have spend much time around each other as adults.

[EvanHadkins]

I think many people keep acting the same as they get older (they seem to stick with their basic attitudes from adolescence on). Reading what you said my thought was that I hope you can find ways to care for yourself.

[AirbenderAang]

One thing I can tell just from your post is that you are very critical yourself. The main difference between you and your brother is that your brother doesn't filter. This then is probably the main reason why his behavior infuriates you so much. His critiques feed into your self critiques. Then you think, 'It's not fair! I don't share my critiques of him. Why does he do that to me??' The answer is that it is probably to make him feel better. Your brother shouldn't be so critical of you. At this point and time though, it sounds like something you will have to accept. Ultimately you can't control what flies out of his mouth, but you can control whether that affects you or not. Focus on cultivating compassion for yourself and that will help you deal with the sting of his critiques.

[Saffron]

Personally, (I dont know if im just not reading this right ere) it sounds to me like you're mad because your btrother isnt constantly reassuring and validating you. You're 32....you should be sound enough in body and mind by this point to know what you want without needing CONSTANT 'compliments' from your brother. Evryone wants to know someone has their back, which you admit at times he has, so whats the problem?? Your post reads to me, like 'my one brother focuses on me when i want him too, so why doesnt the other???" It sounds spoilt and childish. Also, if your brother is struggling with his health and is overweight (maybe depressed who knows...have you ever asked?) have you considered that maybe he needs YOUR support rather than the other way round? Your post reads like'why is he not talking about me? why isnt he concerend about my life?? what about me?' Yet in the same breath you essentially say 'hes fat and im not so i must be better than him? right??" Thats not very supportive is it?!? Pot, kettle and all that?? Perhaps the guys needs some support and guidnce from you? Perhaps you all need to grow up a bit?

[HurricaneMax]

He's your brother

[HurricaneMax]

thats why its gonna be that way

[Liam_680]

your brother may not have gotten over the fact that you are his little sister but he forgot that you may still be his little sister, but you are all grown ups now. A simple talk with the right words will let him know that you can be trusted with your independent decision in life and that you can stand up to your own decisions as well.

[mindinfuture]

If you don't like him, you can always minimize contact since you are not living together. Stop taking him so seriously and just ignore what he says. If he says something that annoys him, smile at him and walk away. His attitude may change when yours does.