i hit my gf today

[fi123]

She sounds like a very patient girlfriend, i hope you sort your issues out before her patience runs thin.

[adam95]

how i wish i was joking indi
break up? how do i do that? i already physically hurt her, now i'll do it emotionally? anyway i don't think we'll be doing what couples do for a long time. i know i'll have to sort this out. i guess i'll have serious talk with her tomorrow. should i ask her what she wants or should i tell her that its best to take a break till i fix myself up. i don't know.

[adam95]

She sounds like a very patient girlfriend, i hope you sort your issues out before her patience runs thin.

yeah she is really patient with me. i'm so lucky to have her. i'm such an ass

[IndiReloaded]

how i wish i was joking indi
break up? how do i do that? i already physically hurt her, now i'll do it emotionally? anyway i don't think we'll be doing what couples do for a long time. i know i'll have to sort this out. i guess i'll have serious talk with her tomorrow. should i ask her what she wants or should i tell her that its best to take a break till i fix myself up. i don't know.

This has nothing to do with sex. And you have already damaged her emotionally. FAR more than the physical. The fact you are oblivious to this just reaffirms how much you need to work on yourself outside any relationship.

She probably won't want to break up with you. B/c she will think somewhere deep inside her that its somehow HER problem you did what you did. Its irrational, but a very common reaction to abuse. Plus, she will want to be the one to 'fix you'.

I'm not telling you to break up to punish you. I really think its for the best. If she has the strength to dump you, kudos to her. If she were posting here that is exactly what I would advise her. Sorry. I think its a pity, you seem so reasonable otherwise.

[adam95]

This has nothing to do with sex. And you have already damaged her emotionally. FAR more than the physical. The fact you are oblivious to this just reaffirms how much you need to work on yourself outside any relationship.

She probably won't want to break up with you. B/c she will think somewhere deep inside her that its somehow HER problem you did what you did. Its irrational, but a very common reaction to abuse. Plus, she will want to be the one to 'fix you'.

I'm not telling you to break up to punish you. I really think its for the best. If she has the strength to dump you, kudos to her. If she were posting here that is exactly what I would advise her. Sorry. I think its a pity, you seem so reasonable otherwise.

yeah i understand. i'll have a talk with her tomorrow.
thanks for your advice. though i hate it, i know you're right.

[IndiReloaded]

Good luck Adam. I'd say more but I'm frankly pissed off at you right now. You're a regular here and I really expected more from you.

[IndiReloaded]

you don't cheer her up- that makes you an abuser. you leave her alone, you go to therapy tomorrow and you start googling anger management classes in your area in 5 minutes.

I don't believe for 1 second you like rough sex just 'cause you like rough sex. there's something here you're not telling us. there's a good chance even you don't understand... which is why you'll be in therapy tomorrow.

This^ as well. Girl called this one early on.

[Gribble]

Wow. You're a freak. I hope her dad breaks both your arms and throws you into a river.

[IndiReloaded]

Gribble, I think you don't hate women at all. You just want to love *all of them* and no one woman is enough. Cuncta cunt, as it were. You should make this your sig quote.

[Junket]

Sounds like she's got some issues, too.

[VincenzoG91]

The first time my girlfriend and I had a big argument was after we had been together for about 8 months. I got so mad that I called her the C-word. I instantly regretted saying it, and was mortified when she proved me wrong about the topic of the argument. (She was really at the hospital all night, waiting up on a cousin who was hospitalized. And her cell phone really did need re-charging. She showed me the phone, and then took me to the hospital to see her relatives who were still in the waiting room.)

She pushed me to take an anger management class. It was either that or we were going to break up. I took the class, but I showed up thinking that it was going to be a bunch of b-s. I was wrong again. The two instructors were former graduates of this anger management class, and in the first five minutes of the first class, they convinced me that this class was going to be good. Wrong again. The class was great. It was a really positive and life-changing experience. I did all the reading and all the homework, and asked questions in class. And I learned from classmates that there were different kinds of anger management problems. A few guys were there by court order, related to domestic abuse. A couple were ex-convicts living in a halfway house and adjusting to life outside prison. A couple of guys seemed like they didn't have any anger at all, but that was because they stifled it and suffered physiological problems instead. One guy was there for the fourth time, but this time it seemed like everything was finally getting through to him.

That was six years ago. My girlfriend and I are still together, and we're closer than we were back then. I have had a few lapses here and there, but I'm better at avoiding anger, managing anger and getting over anger. I even learned some other things about myself in the process. I highly recommend an anger management class to you, as long as you're willing to take it seriously.

[adam95]

yeah i am willing to take it seriously. i really am ashamed of what happened. i'll be going back to london next week so I 'll search for anger management classes over there. Till then I guess i'll just back off and put a hold on this relationship. thanks guys for your advice, no matter how pissed you all are. your words really helped me out.

@ indi
even i expected more from me. this was the one thing i swore id never do. couldn't sleep last night cause of the guilt i felt. i really don't know how i lost control. it's the only reason i know i'm going to take anger management seriously. thanks again.

[hello1]

Do not blame the roughness of the sex for your anger, this really is just an pathetic excuse. Any strong, confident girl would have left you. Your g/f obviously has very low self esteem and I bet if you hit her again, she would stay. Please get help before you end up hurting someone else. No one likes a woman beater.

[adam95]

i am not blaming it on the roughness of sex. i've had anger issues since I was really young but I seemed to keep it in control. anyway I'm not defending what I did. I was always against beating and i still am. and yes I agree with about my gf self esteem, which is why I'm going to break it off even if she isn't. I dont want to hurt her again and this seems like the only right thing to do. maybe after anger management, we'll see.
thank you.

[sookie6]

If you have anger management problems then rough sex is not really advisable...

I think you should have seen this coming. When you get into rough sex the way you did then spirits run really high and it becomes easier to get carried away if you have problems controlling your emotions in the first...

Keep rough sex off your sexual diet from now on and keep communicating with your gfriend.