Is this unforgivable?

[aic7780]

Be honest with her. Tell her you are still angry but maybe you could meet up next week. That she should call you later this week. Don't commit to anything else at this point. You still need to figure out what you want.

I am so confused. It doesn't sound like she wants to meet up, I think all she wants is maybe a response to the email nothing more. Then again, what one writes or does isn't exactly what they mean. For instance, I haven't contacted her at all but deep down I want her back.

[IndiReloaded]

I think texting for these kinds of emotional subjects is beyond stupid. Tell her if she wants to discuss this she should call you. A txt apology is insulting, IMO.

[aic7780]

I think texting for these kinds of emotional subjects is beyond stupid. Tell her if she wants to discuss this she should call you. A txt apology is insulting, IMO.

I agree 100%.

[adam95]

Yes, i don't think either of you guys can get closure out of an email or a text. suggest meeting up as indi says.

[alwaystryin]

I'm curious, she's unemployed now, but is there anything she is working on to further her life? It can be a bad situation when one is involved in their own things and the other is involved in nothing but what the first is doing. Does she have goals/ plans? What happens when there comes a time in her life when she wants to concentrate on her own goals. Would she expect the same from you? On the other hand, if her goal is to be a wife and mom, are you sure you're in a position to even be in a committed relationship knowing so much of your time must be spent on your career, which leaves little time for the people in your life? Maybe you guys need to manage your time better and you could try to set time aside for her; even if it isn't a lot, at least she would have your undivided attention. Like I said, just curious...

[aic7780]

I'm curious, she's unemployed now, but is there anything she is working on to further her life? It can be a bad situation when one is involved in their own things and the other is involved in nothing but what the first is doing. Does she have goals/ plans? What happens when there comes a time in her life when she wants to concentrate on her own goals. Would she expect the same from you? On the other hand, if her goal is to be a wife and mom, are you sure you're in a position to even be in a committed relationship knowing so much of your time must be spent on your career, which leaves little time for the people in your life? Maybe you guys need to manage your time better and you could try to set time aside for her; even if it isn't a lot, at least she would have your undivided attention. Like I said, just curious...

She wants to be a stay at home mother. She wanted to get engaged and I promised her after I take my bar exam we'd get engaged. That was my goal and she knew that. I knew this is what she wanted and thats what I signed up for so I cant complain. Given the fact that I been studying with college/law school and studying for the bar exam and still saw her on a consistent basis and did many things with her, it is safe to say I'd have time for her. She said later on she might want to go back to school to pursue an interest she had. While we were both in college she studied much more than I did and I never once said you aren't giving me attention. Now that I took the bar exam and am not studying anymore I have so much free time. It is time I could have been spending with her and I was looking forward to it but she blew it.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I've got a question for you that I haven't seen yet(I skipped the last two pages). What do you think your schedule will be like, once you are a lawyer? That's a very demanding job in most cases, so how do you think she'll respond to that(rhetorical)? Do you want to start a family with someone who can just up and leave on whim like that? She is very selfish and would probably try to take your kids away.

[aic7780]

I've got a question for you that I haven't seen yet(I skipped the last two pages). What do you think your schedule will be like, once you are a lawyer? That's a very demanding job in most cases, so how do you think she'll respond to that(rhetorical)? Do you want to start a family with someone who can just up and leave on whim like that? She is very selfish and would probably try to take your kids away.

My father is a lawyer and I work at his firm, so my hours wont change that much. I was working and studying at the same time so I will probably have more personal time than before even though my hours will likely be more. I am still debating whether to take her back, whether she is open to getting back together is to be determined. I have not responded to her message yet and I am still very much confused.

[IndiReloaded]

Thing is, if her intent is to be a supportive wife then she really blew it. This whole situation would make more sense if she was likewise studying for her board exam and she lost it b/c of the stress. Still sucks but at least there's a semi-valid excuse.

I dunno, aic. The fact she did this AND she seems so reluctant to make amends sounds really sketchy to me.

[aic7780]

Thing is, if her intent is to be a supportive wife then she really blew it. This whole situation would make more sense if she was likewise studying for her board exam and she lost it b/c of the stress. Still sucks but at least there's a semi-valid excuse.

I dunno, aic. The fact she did this AND she seems so reluctant to make amends sounds really sketchy to me.

I don't know if she is reluctant to make amends. She is asking for my forgiveness in the letter. She goes on to say she wants good things to for me, and cant wait to see what the future holds for each of us.

[VincenzoG91]

Thing is, if her intent is to be a supportive wife then she really blew it. This whole situation would make more sense if she was likewise studying for her board exam and she lost it b/c of the stress. Still sucks but at least there's a semi-valid excuse.

Good point. If she wants to become a stay-at-home mom, then she needs to comprehend that you will need to spend a lot of time at the office, to be a good provider for the whole family. She needs to be supportive, not sabotaging your career when she's in a bad mood. If she really can't survive without constant attention, that's a problem that she needs to solve. If you do end up marrying her, she will probably end up cheating on you with some unemployed loser.

[aic7780]

Good point. If she wants to become a stay-at-home mom, then she needs to comprehend that you will need to spend a lot of time at the office, to be a good provider for the whole family. She needs to be supportive, not sabotaging your career when she's in a bad mood. If she really can't survive without constant attention, that's a problem that she needs to solve. If you do end up marrying her, she will probably end up cheating on you with some unemployed loser.

I see what you are saying. She is not the cheating type and never once worried about her cheating over the course of the relationship. I honestly don't think she'd be able to survive on her own though.

[alwaystryin]

I guess it's up to you to make the ultimate decision whether or not she's the one.

But of all things to bitch about... studying for the Barr?? I can't imaging being anything other than fully supportive if my boyfriend was studying for the Barr. Hell, I was catering to him when he studied for the written test to get his driver's license.

I'd like to think there must have been something else going on with her to react in such a way. Maybe you guys just need to have a heart to heart and at least try to get to the bottom of it? Maybe she can work to get past whatever motivated her.