What can i do after whats happened to me?

[MrLee243]

Dear All Loveforum Members,

I have recently been through so much confusion and feeling lost, after a incident which has happened to me lately between myself and my girl-friend and a few friends.

What I am going to describe to you is really not like me normally?

Girls would think I am such a crap person to be with, guys would think I don't respect my lady.

Basically I need advice and opinion on what to do.

I been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years...

This incident happened on Wednesday which has just went, the incident builded up from stress from having 2 jobs I think.

My girlfriend doesn't live near me, she came up to spend time with me, but on Wednesday, she met up with a few friends of ours and told me she will meet them up and spend some time with them whilst I was work.

After I finished work, I messaged her asking whether she would want to meet me up, but she said, she will see me later, so I went back home and went straight to sleep because I was mentally and physically tired from working, so I slept from 6 till 10.30, but during that time, she messaged me asking me where I was ? Then she asked me whether I want her round my house or do I want her to go to (friend 1), then 2mins later she said " how come you don't message me" then she threaten to break up, all because during that period I was asleep...then when I woken up , my girlfriend was on the phone moaning how I didn't pick up the phone etc and gave me so much attitude! So I put the phone down and got changed and went to (friend1) accommoodation, but when I was going there, I rang my gf to see where she was , but kept saying I'm not telling you where I am, so I got really angry...when I got to his accommodation, I was really mad and in rage, kept punching down his door and kept telling me she doesn't want come out...then I completely losted the plot and I threatened her and I said to her I would break (friend2) 's car because its parked outside. Then evenually she came out, and we argued like crazy, she told me to calm down etc but I was still angry, then she provoked me by slapping me and said if u want to break (friend2)'s car then go do it, then I accidently got her into a head lock hold (but I didn't apply any pressure) then the 2 friends came over, and me and (friend 1&2) were fighting and after all that, my gf called my mother, then she came over to calm me down,but I went out to get a drink instead, but in the end my gf went back to mine to sleep, I felt so bad for hurting her and most importantly she was ill after that night, but when I got back, I didn't want to see her but she came to me and hold me, and we made up, but she lefted on the next day...she messaged me saying she is scared of me and scared I go crazy again and she said I went skitzo because she thinks I don't let her do anything. Ever she lefted me, we haven't spoken properly and on friday she messaged me whilst I was at work that she wanted to break up with me cause of what happened.

I feel so losted inside without her, but I hate to see her go like this, I really want to chase her again, get her and tell her I'm sorry, but I don't know what I could do anymore.

I really need some help on what to do...

I spoken to a few friends , and they said I should see her as soon as possible, and try to ammend what's happened, and take responibity for what happened, but I'm scared my gf doesn't love me and trust me and scared of me etc...I really need some quality advice, as much as it could be bad...I need as much advice as possible...I want to get her back...but I don't know what to do...

I am ashamed of my actions but I really don't know what I can do, I am such a stupid person for hurting her, I promised her I wouldn't hurt her, but I broke my promises to her...

Please help a guy who feels like rubblish.

[lovefool87]

Uhhh. You put the one you love in a headlock? You need help.

First of all, you were asleep, and she should have understood that. You should have talked to her like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING and explained that you weren't ignoring her, just sleeping because you were tired from work.

Second, if she didn't want to come out of your friends house, then you should have left her there. She just needed some time to cool off because she was under the impression that you were ignoring her.

INSTEAD OF THREATENING to damage your friends car, you should have taken a deep breath and gone back home.

There were steps you could have taken to avoid this being a major situation, but you didn't. Going and getting a drink when you are already angry is a very stupid thing to do.

I don't think there is a point in trying to fix your relationship if it is a volatile and physical as it is. I think you should apologize for what you did and spend some time alone. Maybe work on some anger management for Christ's sake!

[adam95]

yes sir you are an idiot. but you already know that.
anyway i thnk she is scared that you might hurt her again. your friends are right. talk to her as soon as you can. tell her if shes scared then she can meet you in public or with other friends. you have to explain to her how much you love her and that to give you just one more chance. did you ever hurt her before?

[fi123]

How do you "accidentally" put someone in a headlock hold. I don't think that defence would hold up in court lol!!

P.s. thank you for giving me my first giggle of the evening. I was feeling quite down this until now...i am just picturing the romantic scene.......

[MrLee243]

Well I was trying to drag her away, then she put her head down and it almost seemed as if I was putting her in a headlock hold...I know what I done was outragious...but I really don't know what went wrong with me, I am ashamed of my actions...but I really want to be able to sort it out (I hope)...this is the 1st time I hurt her so badly...

[fi123]

You were trying to, now then let me see if i got this right...." drag her away"....well that explains it...(....do i hear a harp?)

You say that this is the first time you hurt her so badly...do you mean you hurt her before but not this badly?

Listen if you don't sort yourself out this situation is going to happen again...and again...and again, with this girl and the next and the next.

All men or women who physically abuse their partners usually feel genuine remorse immediately after a situation like this...until the next time....

[adam95]

yeah once you lose control it will happen again and much more faster. take some anger management classes, prove to her you're changing.

[fi123]

However the fact that you have felt bad enough about it at the moment to seek advice on here is a good thing. I'm not sure i can advise you on how to win her back if she is scared of you though, i think that would possibly make your relationship non salvageable, imho. Sorry.

[lovefool87]

The bad spelling alone is making my head spin. >:/

[MrLee243]

Hmmmmm I know I need to see someone...or to train myself to be better...as much as I am a fool for these actions, it has taken me sometime to think and have the courage to be able to post on here. I really want to change and try and win her back but I don't think its going to happen...any advice on what should I do to try and ressolve this issue?

[lovefool87]

Yeah my earlier post explains that you need to apologize for what you did. Then you need to spend some time alone, and work on your anger issues.

It's like I don't exist or something!

[fi123]

I don't think she will stop being scared of you unless you start some anger management therapy and show her the proof you are going to the sessions, if you do this, maybe you have a chance, if not i'd say this relationship doesn't have much of a chance in the longterm.

[IndiReloaded]

Offer to stand there and let her kick you in the balls as hard as she can as many times as she wants. Then you can call it even.