Is this how relationships should be?

[ShannonMI]

I thought we were compatible. We didn't fight at all really. He just missed the intense passionate feelings that we felt in the beginning. I was happy with our life together, but he wasn't. He felt I got too comfortable with our relationship. Shouldn't people be comfortable after 8 years of being together? I always tried to go with the flow. He worked a lot and had a few bands through the years and I wasn't a nag. I didn't demand he spend time with me. Maybe I should have. Maybe we would have maintained that intense passion he was so desperate to keep. I don't know.

[lahnnabell]

I had a few boyfriends who felt the same way about relationships. Countless times I heard the line, "Relationships should just work. You shouldn't have to work at them." One the one hand, yes, they should function, but not because they don't require maintenance. Even my relationship with my mother requires maintenance and after years of disagreeing with one another and arguing about various topics, we have finally entered a place where we can mutually respect and support one another. The same goes for romantic relationships.

One of my exes (from almost 7 years ago now) and I talked recently, and he said, "You know, it really killed me when you finally broke up with me." He knows that his stupid antics and untrustworthy behavior pushed me further and further away until there was nothing left for me to do but end it. He had that mentality that our relationship should just function on its own, and we broke up several times over the course of 4 years because of his inattentiveness and immaturity.

The viewpoint that truly strong relationships will forever be a honeymoon period is the result of immaturity and inexperience. He needs time to date other women and figure out that every relationship that develops and grows will require maintenance. It sucks that because men tend to develop a lot slower and later than women it'll be a while before he really understands any of this.

[nov13]

The people who don't belive this is possible are the ones who cannot achieve it.

You have to say it's not possible, otherwise you'll have to acknowledge your relationship is inferior.

[ShannonMI]

Have you acheived a never changing relationship nov13? Just curious.

[lahnnabell]

The people who don't belive this is possible are the ones who cannot achieve it.

You have to say it's not possible, otherwise you'll have to acknowledge your relationship is inferior.

I find it interesting that you're so intent on disproving everyone here. What exactly are you getting out of this? Are you so lonely that your only solace is to pick apart the lives of others, and bring them to your level of disparity?

[ShannonMI]

The viewpoint that truly strong relationships will forever be a honeymoon period is the result of immaturity and inexperience. He needs time to date other women and figure out that every relationship that develops and grows will require maintenance. It sucks that because men tend to develop a lot slower and later than women it'll be a while before he really understands any of this.

Now i agree with this from lahannabell. Its about inexperience and immaturity. Thinking you can have the honeymoon stage last forever. Its a fantasy. Plain and simple. Relationships do require maintenace. They are a work in progress. I don't like to use the word "work" in regard to relationships, but that's ultimatly what it is. You have to work at keeping it fresh. It doesn't just happen on it's own.

[ShannonMI]

I find it interesting that you're so intent on disproving everyone here. What exactly are you getting out of this? Are you so lonely that your only solace is to pick apart the lives of others, and bring them to your level of disparity?

Hahahahahaha yes what is nov13's deal? Maybe it's my ex hahahahahaha

[nov13]

If I have, would it change your mind?

[ShannonMI]

No because I think it's rubbish. Maybe 1 in 5 million people have the type of relationship you and my ex are talking about. It's a fantasy. Have you achieved it? If you have then maybe you are that 1 in 5 million hahahahaha good for you!

[lahnnabell]

If I have, would it change your mind?

So, if you answered "yes", you expect that it would completely transform our thoughts and opinions based on the viewpoint of one of billions on this planet?

As you can see most of us on here can attest to the fact that no relationship will ever just be plain and simple. And the posters here come from all sorts of countries, ethnic backgrounds, religions, etc. Perhaps you should stick around these forums and resign yourself to learning as well as running your mouth.

[ShannonMI]

So, if you answered "yes", you expect that it would completely transform our thoughts and opinions based on the viewpoint of one of billions on this planet?

As you can see most of us on here can attest to the fact that no relationship will ever just be plain and simple. And the posters here come from all sorts of countries, ethnic backgrounds, religions, etc. Perhaps you should stick around these forums and resign yourself to learning as well as running your mouth.

Well said!

[Gigabitch]

Anyone who thinks that infatuation lasts a lifetime is, quite frankly, an ass-tard. That's not even love. It's fun, but it's exhausting and unsustainable.

Look, I've known my husband since 1994 and we've been together as a couple for four years. I'm still crazy about him and it gives me a big thrill to see him every single time he walks into the room, but it's not the same thing it was for the first year or so. It's different. It's better, and it's not about butterflies.

[nov13]

You are contradicting yourself. One in five million means you belive it's doable, but extremely rare, or is it a fictional ideology? Which is it?

[ShannonMI]

Anyone who thinks that infatuation lasts a lifetime is, quite frankly, an ass-tard. That's not even love. It's fun, but it's exhausting and unsustainable.

Look, I've known my husband since 1994 and we've been together as a couple for four years. I'm still crazy about him and it gives me a big thrill to see him every single time he walks into the room, but it's not the same thing it was for the first year or so. It's different. It's better, and it's not about butterflies.

It's about the deep love and respect you have for him right? That is better. That's what everyone should strive for in a long term relationship. Not the giddy, lovey dovey crap you feel in the beginning.

[nov13]

You are not crazy about your husband. You are naive to think that, gigabitch.

Your few sentences are full of contradictions.