Why are so many people in their 20s taking so long to grow up?

[lahnnabell]

I moved out at 19 but my parents lived close to campus and it made financial sense....plus BSU makes all freshman either live at home or live on campus. I didn't want to live in a dorm. My parents did pick up 40% of my tuition. I'm not saying its not different from previous generations...but so is the world. Therefore if the world has changed so is the way we will approach it....it does take longer to get into a career outside of flipping burgers.

I agree with him. Back in the day, if your family was in some sort of trade, you basically learned your skills from dad and took over the family business. Young men had exposure to this at a very young age and it was expected that they would pick up the slack for the sake of their family and their own future livelihood. Nowadays, kids aren't expected to work through high school or college, and they spend their spare time and money on alcohol and putting off adulthood.

Now we have a degree for everything. Every field is becoming specialized in its own way and the hurdles one has to jump to pursue a career are increasing in number and height.

[dewilliams2]

fine. but when you are 30, would you rather be with an educated 25 year old or 35 year old?

Well unless something unfortunate happens everybody hits 35. Tits will sag, maybe a little extra around the waist, crows feet set in, oh no! is that gray hair?...it happens to everyone...so the question is...is it better to be an under-educated woman with looks beginning to fade looking for a job competing against 20 year olds with a tight ass or an educated woman with her looks failing competing with 20 years olds with that tight ass (who have not gotten that education yet)?

huge run-on sentence

[vashti]

I agree with him. Back in the day, if your family was in some sort of trade, you basically learned your skills from dad and took over the family business. Young men had exposure to this at a very young age and it was expected that they would pick up the slack for the sake of their family and their own future livelihood. Nowadays, kids aren't expected to work through high school or college, and they spend their spare time and money on alcohol and putting off adulthood.

Now we have a degree for everything. Every field is becoming specialized in its own way and the hurdles one has to jump to pursue a career are increasing in number and height.

What? 20-30 years ago, most people didn't own family businesses. I think the difference was that 20-30 years ago, young people were willing to move out and struggle for a while financially. They don't seem to be willing to do that anymore.

[lahnnabell]

What? 20-30 years ago, most people didn't own family businesses. I think the difference was that 20-30 years ago, young people were willing to move out and struggle for a while financially. They don't seem to be willing to do that anymore.

Well, I was referring to way way back in the day. When business was little more than various types of trade. I agree with you on your point though. And it's not so much about young people being willing to move out, but how the expectations have changed. A lot of parents do their best to provide for their children as long as they can. They think that the more control they have over their kids that the better they'll turn out. I know from my own personal experience that that is not true.

When I wanted things like a cell phone or a car, my parents taught me how to use money. They taught me how to finance a car, and how to get it registered, the whole nine. It's a lot more common now to find the car already paid for and parked in the drive way when the kid gets home from school.

[Indignant]

It's not just about being educated though. Formal education means nothing if you're not doing anything with it. girl is talking about being able to use her education to push her further than she would normally be able to go in her desired field because that is her goal. Stopping to have a family right now will most likely only impede her personal goals. It is fortunate for her that the man in her life agrees and wants to help her pursue these goals without setting limitations of expectations of her.

depends what she is trying to achieve. just how much further is her education going to take her?

[lahnnabell]

depends what she is trying to achieve. just how much further is her education going to take her?

Yes, it does depend on what her goals are. As I was looking for jobs out here in California, I noticed an increasing amount of specialized positions that were asking for Masters degrees. However, sometimes it's an even trade off if you have the necessary experience minus the degree. People either have to make the decision early on to devote themselves to a particularly industry and work up the chain of command, or they can return to school and receive a degree for their desired field in the hopes that it will yield a better position with better pay.

The tricky part right now is that the economy is such a mess that businesses can't afford to pay those with higher degrees. A lot of teachers were laid off in San Diego county, and people who had Bachelors and Masters degrees were reduced to looking for work anywhere they could. A lot of my friends even had to resort to taking their degrees off their resumes to even get considered for lower paying positions just so they could obtain some sort of employment. As it looks right now (at least in my own situation), sticking with one industry and working your way up ensures stronger job security.

[doppelgaenger]

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree - parents put a lot of effort into giving their offspring a fruitful, successful youth, only to find that they are making their children into dependent, yet ripened individuals. Really, the less parents are there to support their kids, the more independent they will come - the lighter the spore, the further it will go.

Just for comparison's sake, I have a friend who recently graduated with a Bachelor of Business. His parents bought him everything - brand new car, college education, everything. Right now he's nearly independent from them, cos he's rooming with us. But in 2 months time, he's going to move out of our flat and back in with mom and dad. It's not like he can't afford rent - he's pretty well off and he has a job, too. On the other hand, I moved completely out of my parents' house three years ago and I've been completely independent ever since, and I'm never going back! I bought my own car, and I'm paying my own way through university. In fact, I live quite far away from home.

[lahnnabell]

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree - parents put a lot of effort into giving their offspring a fruitful, successful youth, only to find that they are making their children into dependent, yet ripened individuals. Really, the less parents are there to support their kids, the more independent they will come - the lighter the spore, the further it will go.

Just for comparison's sake, I have a friend who recently graduated with a Bachelor of Business. His parents bought him everything - brand new car, college education, everything. Right now he's nearly independent from them, cos he's rooming with us. But in 2 months time, he's going to move out of our flat and back in with mom and dad. It's not like he can't afford rent - he's pretty well off and he has a job, too. On the other hand, I moved completely out of my parents' house three years ago and I've been completely independent ever since, and I'm never going back! I bought my own car, and I'm paying my own way through university. In fact, I live quite far away from home.

Why in the hell is he moving home if he's all set up then?

And it's not so much that parents are too supportive, but they resort to coddling their kids. Parents can be supportive, but they have to pick and choose their battles. Teaching your kid how to purchase a car, finance it, and care for it will take them much further than handing them the keys. My parents told me at 15 that if I wanted spending money, I could look for a job. I worked at a hardware store for 6 years. That job helped me through high school, college, and allowed me to pay off my first car.

[dewilliams2]

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree - parents put a lot of effort into giving their offspring a fruitful, successful youth, only to find that they are making their children into dependent, yet ripened individuals. Really, the less parents are there to support their kids, the more independent they will come - the lighter the spore, the further it will go.

Just for comparison's sake, I have a friend who recently graduated with a Bachelor of Business. His parents bought him everything - brand new car, college education, everything. Right now he's nearly independent from them, cos he's rooming with us. But in 2 months time, he's going to move out of our flat and back in with mom and dad. It's not like he can't afford rent - he's pretty well off and he has a job, too. On the other hand, I moved completely out of my parents' house three years ago and I've been completely independent ever since, and I'm never going back! I bought my own car, and I'm paying my own way through university. In fact, I live quite far away from home.

I have the same exact thing. My friend's parents have bought him everything including new cars whereas my parents were more there for moral support....I'm independent...he is 24, still hasn't finished school and is living with them....it does happen but not everybody does it. But I think you make a good point...a lot of time the parents allow this behavior instead of saying "man up and get your ass to work."

[girl68]

depends what she is trying to achieve. just how much further is her education going to take her?

further than I currently am which is administrative assistant. so pretty much any meaningful education will take me further at which point a higher income which will beneift myself and guess who: my husband and our children. If he leave my old educated happy ass after that my mistake was not my education at a later age it was I picked the wrong man.

[Indignant]

further than I currently am which is administrative assistant. so pretty much any meaningful education will take me further at which point a higher income which will beneift myself and guess who: my husband and our children. If he leave my old educated happy ass after that my mistake was not my education at a later age it was I picked the wrong man.

and what sort of education are you putting yourself through? and do you know how many people with education DON'T have higher incomes?

[lahnnabell]

further than I currently am which is administrative assistant. so pretty much any meaningful education will take me further at which point a higher income which will beneift myself and guess who: my husband and our children. If he leave my old educated happy ass after that my mistake was not my education at a later age it was I picked the wrong man.

Precisely. If anyone needs a good look at a situation that involves choosing your potential career or career advancement over love, take a look at my thread on the general Love Forum section. After having decided to return home to the East coast to be closer to my boyfriend and family, I suddenly received the promotion I'd been working toward for months. I love my boyfriend with everything I have, but putting my own goals on hold to start from ground zero again makes no sense right now. It makes this situation suck a lot, but it's time for me to be a big girl.

[girl68]

On another note culture plays a huge role. Asian families (I'm going to go with Chinese because that's what I know best) tend to keep their kids at home AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. That is the parents goal. The reasons vary by parents though I know my autine (very chinese) wanted her children at home for the longest she could keep them there. They were extremely sheltered though not spoiled (ie not given cars) education is typically paid for becasue chinese value this much, much more than getting out there and getting a job, dating, hanging out and all that jazz. It's all about the marks, all about the grades, all about the education. In order to put such a focus on this parents keep them at home, late 20's is when my cousins moved out, same with my bf.

I don't agree with this notion and my partner and I have devised a plan that satisfies us both with a little compramise from both sides.

[girl68]

and what sort of education are you putting yourself through? and do you know how many people with education DON'T have higher incomes?

Accounting. I'm very aware degrees don't always help you.

I'm still very curious on your initial claim my ass is getting dumped in 10 years- care to finally address that point you made?

[Indignant]

Accounting. I'm very aware degrees don't always help you.

I'm still very curious on your initial claim my ass is getting dumped in 10 years- care to finally address that point you made?

it seems to happen more than often lately. guys will have girlfriends of any age, but when the time comes to marry and have children, they go for the young ones.