Sexy Inc. (documentary on the sexualization of young girls)

[girl68]

I watched a horrifying, daunting documentary on sexualization of young children. Of course it taps into "sex sells" as adults but what I really want to discuss is children (5-10), tweens (10-13), and teens (13-18).

The documentary just shows how much sex is being marketed to youth which encompasses all 3 groups. They used clips from tween magazines and porn magazines 5 different comparisons. In each comparison it was unidentifiable which was the porn image and which was a mere photograph in a tween magazine. The tweens, teens that were showed these to were asked about their feelings and everything that came out was the effect of desensitization. It was normal to see these pictures.

Then they talked about how sexuality is one of the most important and identifiable and desirable traits young girls wish to be. Your worth as a teen is based on how sexual you are. The focus group was young teenaged girls. They talked about how they had be be sexy to be cool, noticed by boys, liked, admired by girls. When asked if personality meant anything the answer was sadly no. When asked if it made them feel good to be looked at only as something "sexy" did it make them happy? Again, the answer was no. When asked what they can or should do about it they said nothing. It was so sad it nearly brought me to tears. The reason being is because I saw myself. I knew that I fell into this death trap. My value is based on how much sexyiness I can portray. I was one of these sad girls and I'm a full grown woman.

Another thing they talk about is the prevalance of porn (to kids- adults a different issue). A number of Canadian counsellors where there to discuss. They horror stories of young girls (12 years old!) come in and share stories about blow jobs, and hand jobs and taking anal sex! These girls know ALL about this stuff at a terribly young age and it's so, so sad.

At the end I was terrified for not only myself but my future children as well. I wondered what I could do about it. There isn't really anything you actually can do. One lady spent 30 seconds talking about giving your children tools to critically analyze what then take in. Never can you take out all the sexuality in society but you can shape the way in how it's viewed and taken in. Also remind your children who they are as a person and what they mean to you and to the world.

I've always known sex sells but the it's been taken much to far (ie selling g-strings in a tween store) and it's very, very sad.

Thoughts- more suggestions for those who have children? Or even thoughts on what I might do with my state of mind.

[Raze]

The sad part is that I think future generations will know more about sex at a younger age.

When I went to Catholic School, students that were in Junior High were talking about things that I never even heard about till I was in college. lol.

They were also talking about how their peers had girl-on-girl sex. I told myself, "REALLY? This is a religious school."

[vashti]

it isn't so hard... just don't buy stupid magazines geared to young females, and don't watch TV. (shrug) Yes, they will still be exposed to some of it, but it will have a dramatically diminished impact.

Yes, I have a teenage daughter. She's a good girl. Most of her friends are, too.

[hurt_confuzd]

Yes, I have a teenage daughter.

Why doesn't she post on here?

[vashti]

Why doesn't she post on here?

She has a life. lol

[girl68]

it isn't so hard... just don't buy stupid magazines geared to young females, and don't watch TV. (shrug) Yes, they will still be exposed to some of it, but it will have a dramatically diminished impact.

That's one thing I find to be relatively unrealistic. I mean sure monitor the kids TV diet but this mind filling junk is in a lot more places than stupid TV and some magazines. It's in books, it's practically everywhere on TV, it's unbelievably accessible on the internet... etc.

[Traveler78]

Think about technology and how much it has evolved in the last 15 years. I was a teenager in the 90s. If you wanted a cell phone, all that was available was the "Zack Morris" phone. The internet was in its infancy and only a handful of families had access to it. Now, teenagers have access to social networking mediums and gadgets like the iPhone that can do everything. What is a teenage boy going to do when he gets a cell phone with a camera on it? He's going to take a picture of his penis and send it to his friends. The females will get it and take pictures of their breasts and vaginas and picture message them back. They call it "sexting".

When you're an adolescent you don't know yourself yet. You're still still trying to define your ego and you use input mainly from friends, movie stars, and other consumerist bs to help mold who you want to be as a teenager. I think at 15 you should already be fully prepared with at least the basics on sex. Kids are going to be curious about sex, especially today. If people don't, as parents, prepare them for this minefield then they're being set up for a possible disaster in the future.

Kids between 5-12 years old should be completely sheltered from the topic of sex and it's up to the parents to educate themselves on how to do this properly.

[girl68]

The problem is in your last sentence. It has progressed so much and so fast no one knew how bad it was going to get and the effect (long term) weren't known. Now it's known and for many it's too late. No one knows the HOW.

My mom sheltered me and I'm still f**ked.

[Traveler78]

The problem is in your last sentence. It has progressed so much and so fast no one knew how bad it was going to get and the effect (long term) weren't known. Now it's known and for many it's too late. No one knows the HOW.

My mom sheltered me and I'm still f**ked.

That's evolution for you. Finding out what works, what doesn't work, and learning from that. The future doesn't look bleak to me unless all the smart people die.

As for the HOW, here's two things I can think of off the top of my head.
1) Your kid wants a cell phone? Cool, get them the most basic phone that can only make/receive calls. Texting should be ok.
2) DO NOT give your child a computer in their room until they are mature enough to handle that responsibility. A family computer should be more than adequate and be properly "child-proofed' to prevent them from accessing specific sites.

edit -
A specific reason for why #2 is so important is the story of that 12yr old girl Jesse who has been in the news recently. She made a video in her room with a webcam talking smack about some kids and it came back to bite her in the ass.

[adam95]

well i never had the birds and the bees talk and everything i know about sex i learned through tv, magazines etc. There was never enough security in my home and i had access to porn when i was 7 years old. This happened about13 years ago.
Right now, there's no stopping this. I think the best thing to do is to educate your children as soon as they can understand. Unfortunately theres always a chance they'll hear about it before you talk to them. It's just sad. i have no idea what the proper age is now to explain your kids about sex.

[adam95]

That's evolution for you. Finding out what works, what doesn't work, and learning from that. The future doesn't look bleak to me unless all the smart people die.

As for the HOW, here's two things I can think of off the top of my head.
1) Your kid wants a cell phone? Cool, get them the most basic phone that can only make/receive calls. Texting should be ok.
2) DO NOT give your child a computer in their room until they are mature enough to handle that responsibility. A family computer should be more than adequate and be properly "child-proofed' to prevent them from accessing specific sites.

i agree. i always thought that if my kids would want a phone, they won;t get one till 15. but a basic phone seems like a better idea.
and yeah completely agree with the computer idea.

the only problem left are the influences from outside.

[girl68]

I heard of a excellent idea from a counsellor. Her suggestion to a mother of a teenaged girl was this: The daughter was starting to obviously become interested in boys, sex, love and all that jazz. It was time for the talk. The mother covered all the good topics STD's, pressue for sex, respect, feelings. She then gave ger a box filled with everything: condoms of all sorts, spermicide, docments on BC, tampons, different types of pads, lubes and more documents on actually having sex, enjoying it, and doing it safely. She gave her daughter this box and told her too read, learn, be safe and have fun. Her mother promised she will not look in this box to take a peek at what's missing (ie used). I really liked this idea... because sex IS going to happen so it's best to educate... though I don't know I myself could promise to not look Of course this doesn't sound like a genious idea for a 12 year old little girl.

[Traveler78]

i agree. i always thought that if my kids would want a phone, they won;t get one till 15. but a basic phone seems like a better idea.
and yeah completely agree with the computer idea.

the only problem left are the influences from outside.

A cell phone even at an early age is good as long as they understand how to use it responsibly. You can get pre-paid cell phones to give to your kids too. This can give the parent peace of mind knowing that they can always reach their child and their child can always reach them.

Kids are going to be kids and you shouldn't shelter them from everything that is bad. They need these experience in order to grow up to be a well rounded and educated person. If your child never saw fire before or felt its heat, would he/she know not to stick their hand in it? Sometimes you have to get burned in order to learn a lesson. (This is just a metaphor, I'm not saying your child should stick their hand in a fire lol)

[vashti]

That's one thing I find to be relatively unrealistic. I mean sure monitor the kids TV diet but this mind filling junk is in a lot more places than stupid TV and some magazines. It's in books, it's practically everywhere on TV, it's unbelievably accessible on the internet... etc.

It's not unrealistic. I did it.

i think the bigger threat to girls becoming hyper-sexual at an early age is more related to broken homes, mommy focusing her energies on dating rather than children, lack of supervision, and no daddy. I could see it coming when my kids were little, amongst their peers...

For the record, my kids both have cell phones and computers in their rooms.

[adam95]

A cell phone even at an early age is good as long as they understand how to use it responsibly. You can get pre-paid cell phones to give to your kids too. This can give the parent peace of mind knowing that they can always reach their child and their child can always reach them.

Kids are going to be kids and you shouldn't shelter them from everything that is bad. They need these experience in order to grow up to be a well rounded and educated person. If your child never saw fire before or felt its heat, would he/she know not to stick their hand in it? Sometimes you have to get burned in order to learn a lesson. (This is just a metaphor, I'm not saying your child should stick their hand in a fire lol)

yeah it makes sense. But as a parent I guess you'd worry that what if your children actually enjoyed getting burnt? (just a metaphor)
i don't have any kids, but i've thought about it and most of the stuff you guys say on here actually makes sense.