'but hopefully we can be friends'

[originalsince85]

so i took this girl out on monday night, picked her up, dined her and wined her, and took her home and all i got was a thanks. which is fair enough i dont expect every date to go amazingly well, or every woman to be into me. im into her, shes good looking, really nice personality, chatty and bubbly which i always like.

anyway, so i figured oh well that didnt work lets move on, and sent her a text saying thanks for going out with me and was great just to spend time with a lovely and beautiful girl. i also said i was surprised she had text me back after monday night considering my shocking performance (i had 3hrs sleep the night before and think i was talking crap!).

anyway her text last night said, 'dont worry you were fine. to be honest im not really looking for anything considering recent events, but hopefully we can be friends'.

does she mean friends? or just friendly? or sex or what?

ive already replied saying i appreciated her honesty and would appreciate her friendship and be cool to see her again sometime.

problem is she is gorgeous, and if we ever see each other again and build a friendship ill always be attracted to her in that way. do you think there is any chance that i could go in with the friendship thing, build on it and one day something more could come of it?

ive obviously heard about 'the friend zone'....but ive also heard its great to be friends with a woman and build your relationship on that (which ive done myself a couple of times, but the attraction was always there from the start)

is she really not looking for anything?

thanks in advance!!!! sorry for being lengthy xx

[nerdy_guy]

What I can make out from her message to you is that, she's not ready to be in a relationship, but she seems interested enough to keep in touch with you just in case she'll be ready again. Just take it easy for a while, be a friend, sooner or later, she'll give a signal when she'll be ready to try again.

[originalsince85]

i like the sound of that!! i can chill for a while, haha. thanks was kinda hoping for that kind of response...

thanks for reading and replying!

[doesntcompute]

so i took this girl out on monday night, picked her up, dined her and wined her, and took her home and all i got was a thanks. which is fair enough i dont expect every date to go amazingly well, or every woman to be into me. im into her, shes good looking, really nice personality, chatty and bubbly which i always like.

anyway, so i figured oh well that didnt work lets move on, and sent her a text saying thanks for going out with me and was great just to spend time with a lovely and beautiful girl. i also said i was surprised she had text me back after monday night considering my shocking performance (i had 3hrs sleep the night before and think i was talking crap!).

anyway her text last night said, 'dont worry you were fine. to be honest im not really looking for anything considering recent events, but hopefully we can be friends'.

does she mean friends? or just friendly? or sex or what?

ive already replied saying i appreciated her honesty and would appreciate her friendship and be cool to see her again sometime.

problem is she is gorgeous, and if we ever see each other again and build a friendship ill always be attracted to her in that way. do you think there is any chance that i could go in with the friendship thing, build on it and one day something more could come of it?

ive obviously heard about 'the friend zone'....but ive also heard its great to be friends with a woman and build your relationship on that (which ive done myself a couple of times, but the attraction was always there from the start)

is she really not looking for anything?

thanks in advance!!!! sorry for being lengthy xx

Just be her friend and see what happens, but don't hold your hopes up friend, you know what I mean?, pursue other Women...also you seem to be putting her up on a high pedestal, which is not the thing to do, does she have more to her than being "gorgeous"?.

[vashti]

I disagree with the previous posts. She isn't interested. Girls always mention being friends so your feelings wouldn't be hurt.

Sorry.

[VincenzoG91]

Yup. You've been friend-zoned.

[amyt25]

I agree too - I say that to people when i'm not interested in them but trying not to be mean

[girl68]

She was looking for something hence her being on a date. She wasn't intersted in something with you. She attempted to spare your feelings by saying "friends". You have no chance and given the recent thread "can men and women be friends?" the answer is clearly no when one person (you) is attracted to the other person (her) who is not interested.

I say you tell her yeah, we'll get to gether sometime and then never call her again.

[kitkitkitty]

if a girl's attracted to you she'll make that clear from the get-go. friends means friends, girls aren't completely full of double meanings y'know.

[originalsince85]

haha ok thanks for the feedback!

if friends is friends then thats cool. i am a very open, to the point, honest person, so when people say things just for the hell of it it kinda pisses me off. i would much rather people are to the point.

im not into the sparing feelings thing, i would rather people just said ye im not into you but nice to meet you! ya know?!

thanks for the feedback! xx

[girl68]

we know! but sometimes "nice" people think they're being nice by sparing your feelings you just have to understand it will happen from time to time- it will ALWAYS happen.

best of luck. I recommend not being her friend you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

FYI instead of investing so much (wining and dining- go do something instead, park or musemum where you spend a little less).

[originalsince85]

thanks girl68

yes, i realised after taking her out i really should have just said lets go for a drink?! would have been a lot cheaper, and probably more fun thank the awkwardness of meals!
haha

[girl68]

goodluck with the next one

[nerdy_guy]

I disagree with the previous posts. She isn't interested. Girls always mention being friends so your feelings wouldn't be hurt.

Sorry.

I must be getting too old to remember this one. I think it happened with the first girl I was courting. You just reminded me of that experience.