my gf (I guess since we have been seeing each other for about three months) was gone for 10 days for work and to visit family she hadnt seen for a while and I didnt really hear from her. third day I called her and we caught up. 5th day she sent me a text and we texted a bit. 7th day (still no call but she updates her facebook) I couldnt take it anymore and was angry she hadnt called me or made the initiation to call so I sent her a passive aggressive text "hope you are okay since I havent heard anything from you" she calls me and then doesnt leave a message but then texts me "called to see if everything is alright" and then she accused me of testing her. She said that she was on vacation and was too busy or around people 24/7 (yet she updated her facebook several times...to me if she can facebook and if she cared about me she would also make contact with me)
When she returned home three days ago she called me and was upset/angry that I was passive aggressive and mean to her and that she did call (but only after I texted her the angry text) to see if i was okay too. She thought that I was testing her and if I have any problems not to text but to call her. she said nobody heard from her and that she spoke the most to me (the way she said it made me feel like i was suppose to feel entitled).
I apologized and told her I was just upset and missed her. She said this isnt the first time its happened where I was not direct with her and was passive aggressive to her.
Well the first time about two months ago she was suppose to meet me at 10pm. I called her to tell her I was at my friends place and she could come over. I asked her where she was and she told me an intersection. I thought it was a little weird but said okay well you are only 5 minutes away so see you soon. 30 minutes passes by and she still didnt call me. I call her three times and no answer. the fourth time she picks up and i was pretty upset and asked her where she was. she told me the same intersection and I said "your just standing on an intersection??"
she said no she is at a friends place and thought that I wasnt at the place yet so thats why she hadnt left" she said she was outside with her friend who was having a cigarrette. then i found out she was hanging out with some guy she met at my party two days before at his place! she confronted me and said "I'm not allowed to have friends that are guys????" and i said yah you can have guy friends but when you are acting suspicious saying you are standing at a street corner it is *(U(* weird..
she is younger then me and doesnt take me to go with her friends. maybe i am not like her friends but she is always with me, stays at my place spends lots of time with me etc. we really enjoy each others company.
anyways its been three days and its killing me. I am trying not to call her or to check facebook . I even saw her on facebook the same day after she returned and we talked and I said "i do really miss you" and she responded awwwww! and I said i wish her little arms were around me and she said mmmmmhmmm.
I see her facebook update and i know i should not be looking at them. she went out and got really drunk and had fun and I have paranoid thoughts that shes hooking up with guys and sleeping over at other guys places etc.
its really killing me inside right now.
I dont know what to do. my friend advised me because i am going through depression and that my depression is making me paranoid and taking any scenario and making it the worse possible so it will feed my depression. My friend said to wait a while until i am not depressed and then call her if she doesnt call me first. That way i wont sound down on the phone and just say that i was sick if she asks why i havent called her.
I worry the longer i wait the more chance she will be okay without me. I worry that she is hooking up with guys i get so worried. i know there are games but i dont play them. if i dont give her attention or call her first it will make her maybe worry too or give in to call me first.
I really would like to wait until she calls me though and if she asks why i havent called her just say i have been sick.
I have to keep in mind that when i write all this its my mind making the worse case scenarios active and i have to calm myself. realize there was an argument and maybe wait? or call? i dont know what to say because i already apologized that I was acting off and if in the future i have an issue i will call her not wait and then text. she said this is the second time its happened but I can really turn around and say she does things that really hurt me too but i dont because i cant be that super sensitive baby guy..
help!