Loss of motivation

[TheBlackFlux]

Hi guys and gals, it's me Black Flux.

How does anyone deal with a total loss of motivation to do anything? I got 8 pounds on this summer, can't study, can't go exercise, started smoking (!!!), I'm not working (I'm a college student) and so on.

In an ideal world, I'd get up, study some, practice some music instrument for fun, go running and exercise, read a good book and go sleeping satisfied. In reality I light up a smoke, then I drink coffee, then proceed to waste 8 hours with PC on internet, always on the verge of "just this thing and then I get going". I am not a complete wreck, but I seem to lack even basic willpower.

Also last night I had these crazy dreams of my ex-gf and me kissing in some absurd situation. We are on no contact and I try to not care about her, as much as I can, but I suspect that deep inside I miss her immensely. She was my first love, best friends, etc. Oh and she ditched me like a sack of yesterday's turds for another guy. I don't miss her actually, it's probably the closeness. Sometimes it feels like I'm surrounded by ppl, who don't get me at all, who I can't relax with. (I know it sounds like teenage issues. Yet I have the feelings.)

If I ever get to do my grand day programme, I don't feel much satisfaction from it at all. Am I lazy or what. I can't imagine, what things would I do, if I didn't proceed with my hypothetical routine, it would be like giving up on my life. Yet I don't care and waste time behind PC. We're broken up almost a year, and sometimes I still feel heartbroken. Being with friends doesn't provide me with much solace either.

Can anyone say something soothing? :d Thanks, Flux.

[Nami Neko]

Dear Flux
when reading Ur story I want to tell smth with U, and, may be some of my methods'll be useful for U,
when a person left U (as I know, that's Ur first love), she had a reason for her leaving. that makes U hurt, I know. And U loss or motivation, i understand. U choose PC, coffee and smoking to overcome Ur heartbroken... But, Do U know that, U have destructed Ur health day by day. it's not good for u ...

I want to leave some comments for U, and, i would like to suggest U some mothod to overcome this terrible time:
- Instead of waste time with PC, U should better walk every day, in the park or the beach, that will help U refreshed. Or going to sightseeing, U can discover the beautiful nature.
- Instead of drinking much coffee, U should drink tea, (In Vietnam, we have a kind of tea called lotus tea, very especial drinking). when getting up in the morning, U can prepare a meal for U with full of energy to protect Ur health. And, music, listening to music is very good for u in the morning.
- And, U should better take exer every day, care for Ur family, Ur friend, and care Ursefl. Always smlie to be more comfortable.
- And, last, U should think of her as a friend, skip all sad story in deep, and never remind it.
^^
I am Vietnamese, and may be, my thinking isn't same U, but, I hope. that'll help U a bit!

[TheBlackFlux]

Thanks for your input I better not think of the girl as a friend, it'd lead to relapse/broken heart/emo/pointless sad emotions. I prefer to think of her as a void acquaintance.

The major problem is, that I don't see any point in anything. I just don't believe any effort will bring fruit and therefore I do what is most comfortable at the very moment. It doesn't have to do only with my currently failing love-life. It's much more of a personal problem. I can't get myself up and do stuff, because ultimately, I don't think it will change anything. Or if I do the stuff, I don't feel as much reward, as I'd need to go on. It feels like being on afterburn after months of hard work. But the truth is I didn't do anything significant for over a month now.

So there, that's the problem. If I was satisfied with me as a person, I don't think I'd be concerned with my ex-gf at all.

[VincenzoG91]

It sounds like you're depressed. Not necessarily in a clinical sense, but at least feeling down all the time. Nami Neko had some great advice for you. Step away from the computer and walk around outside. I don't recognize your country flag, so I don't know if the weather is nice right now, but even walking around in bad weather will still be better than eight hours at a computer. And the right music can definitely help adjust your mood. And if possible, stop smoking immediately. It's an expensive habit that will steadily reduce the quality of your life and the lives of the people around you.

[Raze]

It sounds like you're depressed. Not necessarily in a clinical sense, but at least feeling down all the time. Nami Neko had some great advice for you. Step away from the computer and walk around outside. I don't recognize your country flag, so I don't know if the weather is nice right now, but even walking around in bad weather will still be better than eight hours at a computer. And the right music can definitely help adjust your mood. And if possible, stop smoking immediately. It's an expensive habit that will steadily reduce the quality of your life and the lives of the people around you.

Technically, it's clinical depression. If he went to any psychiatrist worth his salt, he would be diagnosed with depression and put on anti-depressants.

Mood. For most of nearly every day, the patient reports depressed mood or appears depressed to others. CHECK!

Interests. For most of nearly every day, interest or pleasure is markedly decreased in nearly all activities (noted by the patient or by others). CHECK!

Eating and weight. Although not dieting, there is a marked loss or gain of weight (such as five percent in one month) or appetite is markedly decreased or increased nearly every day.

Sleep. Nearly every day the patient sleeps excessively or not enough. PROBABLY CHECK!

Motor activity. Nearly every day others can see that the patient's activity is agitated or retarded. CHECK!

Fatigue. Nearly every day there is fatigue or loss of energy. CHECK!

Self-worth. Nearly every day the patient feels worthless or inappropriately guilty. These feelings are not just about being sick; they may be delusional. CHECK!

Concentration. Noted by the patient or by others, nearly every day the patient is indecisive or has trouble thinking or concentrating. CHECK!

Death. The patient has had repeated thoughts about death (other than the fear of dying), suicide (with or without a plan) or has made a suicide attempt.


I got depressed just reading this thread.

[alwaystryin]

Do you smoke weed?? Sounds like a typical pot head day. Just curious...

I definitely agree with getting your butt out and taking a walk every day. If you can't feel connected to people, at least maintain a connection with the earth and the universe. Go see a sunset or do some people watching. Take a good book to the park and lay on the grass. Get some sun

[TheBlackFlux]

Haha no I don't smoke weed

Well I'm not feeling any better folks. I bought a pack of cigarettes today, had one, almost threw up and left the rest of the pack at the trash disposal place for someone to pick up.

I can't concentrate even on the simplest tasks. Tomorrow I'm probably visiting the doctor, I've always had these, but not to this extent.

Thanks for help. I hope I'm just feeling down for some arcane reason and no medications will be needed.

[kitkitkitty]

'to realize the value of ONE YEAR
ask a student who failed a grade

to realize the value of ONE MONTH
ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby

to realize the value of ONE WEEK
ask an editor of a weekly newspaper

to realize the value of ONE DAY
ask a person who's in the final stages of cancer

to realize the value of ONE HOUR
ask the lovers who are waiting to meet

to realize the value of ONE MINUTE
ask a person who just missed the train

to realize the value of ONE SECOND
ask the family of someone involved in a car crash

to realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND
ask a person who won a silver medal in the Olympics

yesterday is history
tomorrow is a mystery
today is a gift
that's why it's called the present.'

...got me through my A-levels.

[EvanHadkins]

It could be helpful to get in touch with your anger and find a way to express it that doesn't damage you, others or the furniture.

[vashti]

I don't know that this is clinical depression. Clinical depression requires it to be continuing over a prolonged period of time, in the absence of a specific event that would depress anyone.

I agree with the idea of you getting regular exercise, but if you really want to motivate yourself again, you should dump the computer.

[hurt_confuzd]

Smoke some pot.

[boobaa]

You are not alone in this kind of life, buddy. Welcome to the world

[Indignant]

aren't we all lonely and misunderstood?

[TheBlackFlux]

Well Hi.

After some thinking, I don't think I have a depression. I have some kind of menopause (to avoid undetected sarcasm, I repeat - 20y male). My mood shifts 5 times a day, from extreme joy, to endless sorrow, through infinite empathy,to unmatched ambitions, to utter resignation and finally ends with oh-god-I-enjoy-this-sandwich-so-much-I'll-eat-it-and-die.

I've lost the weight though, started working out. Yet I get little stuff done, because of the other crazy stuff that goes on. Thanks for the sarcastic replies, made me chuckle + I try to dump as much computer, as I can.

I'm in the "manic" phase now, I can feel it lol. I have to DO something with this. Thanks for support.

[lahnnabell]

'to realize the value of ONE YEAR
ask a student who failed a grade

to realize the value of ONE MONTH
ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby

to realize the value of ONE WEEK
ask an editor of a weekly newspaper

to realize the value of ONE DAY
ask a person who's in the final stages of cancer

to realize the value of ONE HOUR
ask the lovers who are waiting to meet

to realize the value of ONE MINUTE
ask a person who just missed the train

to realize the value of ONE SECOND
ask the family of someone involved in a car crash

to realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND
ask a person who won a silver medal in the Olympics

yesterday is history
tomorrow is a mystery
today is a gift
that's why it's called the present.'

...got me through my A-levels.

None of this means anything to a person unable to feel empathy for another. Some people have to really go through some shit themselves before they start to value their lives.