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Thread: Do men want to be "friends" with women?

  1. #16
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    There was one time my wife went out of town to visit their parents. I wanted to see a movie but didn't want to go alone. I informed her my plan and told her as well that I'm going out with a co-worker/friend that she also knows. She was okay with it. We watched the movie, had lunch, and talked for a while, I even went around the mall with her 'cause she needed to buy some stuff.

    Its all about keeping your hand off someone else pants. If you can't control yourself, then don't tempt yourself either.
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  2. #17
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    Short answer: Probably not, no.

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by nerdy_guy View Post
    There was one time my wife went out of town to visit their parents. I wanted to see a movie but didn't want to go alone. I informed her my plan and told her as well that I'm going out with a co-worker/friend that she also knows. She was okay with it. We watched the movie, had lunch, and talked for a while, I even went around the mall with her 'cause she needed to buy some stuff.

    Its all about keeping your hand off someone else pants. If you can't control yourself, then don't tempt yourself either.
    Just curious, Nerdy Guy, but did you just go out with this coworker the one time or is this now an ongoing relationship? I understand what you're saying, though. I also think because it's a coworker that you are friendly with (who is obviously respectful and knows you're married), that there was a good set of ground rules. Basically it was "I'm bored...are you bored, too? Great...let's go to the movies!"

    I have a lot of women interject to discussions like this saying, "Oh, my best friend I've known since grade school is a guy. See, see...I have a platonic relationship. We've never done anything." Something tells me that the guy is either not attracted to the girl, or she has always been in relationships, and he's in SVP (Love that, by the way...so true!). Or he's gay -- either in the closet or out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    That's about perceived value, in part, and also about wanting to win. We're a competitive species. We like to take from others.
    Adding to this, people want what they can't have.
    I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.

  5. #20
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    I have lunch with male friends. But its always with intent, for business networking or something like. Never personal and I take pains to keep it that way. I made an exception to this years ago and we completely screwed the pooch. Never again.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    I have lots and lots of female friends.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cancankant View Post
    Just curious, Nerdy Guy, but did you just go out with this coworker the one time or is this now an ongoing relationship? I understand what you're saying, though. I also think because it's a coworker that you are friendly with (who is obviously respectful and knows you're married), that there was a good set of ground rules. Basically it was "I'm bored...are you bored, too? Great...let's go to the movies!"

    I have a lot of women interject to discussions like this saying, "Oh, my best friend I've known since grade school is a guy. See, see...I have a platonic relationship. We've never done anything." Something tells me that the guy is either not attracted to the girl, or she has always been in relationships, and he's in SVP (Love that, by the way...so true!). Or he's gay -- either in the closet or out.
    We've been out twice, And no, I'm not cheating. My wife always gets informed. She trusts me enough not to pester me with details either. I even help my coworker figure out what her boyfriend is thinking at times to keep their relationship afloat and less stressful I believe platonic relationships exists. If not, Everyone here on LF would be F**king each other by now.
    He who laughs last, thinks the slowest

  8. #23
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    nerdy- is this woman smoking hot? if she is attractive that's nice... (but ...)

  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by nerdy_guy View Post
    If not, Everyone here on LF would be F**king each other by now.
    What makes you think they aren't?
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    What makes you think they aren't?
    'cause no one invited me
    He who laughs last, thinks the slowest

  11. #26
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    In general, no, Men and Women don't have platonic -releationships-. IE One on One.
    There's all sorts of exceptions though.
    Friends can have platonic relationships, but ultimatly, I look at friends like this;

    A real friend isn't much different than a GF or wife. They are someone you trust, you enjoy their company, and you would do anything for them. The only difference is that you don't want to **** them.
    As a general rule, you're attracted to the opposite (or same sex if your gay), and that doesn't often take a back seat when dealing with that sex. Period.

  12. #27
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    Generally, it doesn't work.

    That being said, some of my closest friends are women, and I met them under various circumstances. Some of them were single when we met, so no Vulturing going on. Others started as coworkers, some are old friends from school, etc.

    There's a lot of Vulturing that goes on, but sometimes two people just click as friends, without any real romantic interest.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cancankant View Post
    Usually it's platonic for one person, and the other person is wishin' & hopin'.
    I couldn't agree more. I have a great friend of mine who dropped the "I've had my eye on you for sometime" bomb on me a month after I was dumped (out of a 4 yr relationship). Ended up being a rebound, sex was great, but I still only seen him as a friend, but boy could I tell he was under the wishin' & hopin' category. Boy do I regret that romp in the hay. Damn.

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    Quote Originally Posted by girl68 View Post
    nerdy- is this woman smoking hot? if she is attractive that's nice... (but ...)
    There are a few people around the world wanting to be her boyfriend. Aside from that, her ex kept stalking her, her old high school classmate befriended her on facebook and asked her to marry her. Also, a few locals around here kept asking for her number.
    He who laughs last, thinks the slowest

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    To the OP, don't listen to any of the stereotypes or generalisations. There are plenty of guys who are happy to be friends with a girl that they are not attracted to and never will be. Not everything in this world revolves around people's genitals.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
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    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
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