I've posted this elsewhere too, but they didn't have a place to get a guy's insight...so here it is!!
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I am having such a hard time getting over my ex, I think about him everyday, all day. I've read everything out there about what to do, keep busy, be social, etc. etc.... but I can't quit re-living all my woulda, shoulda, coulda's.....and I can't quit regretting all the contact I made after the breakup. It's almost been two full months, the longest I went without making contact was three weeks, my last email to him was 6 days ago. All in all I've sent 9.....with no response (and throw in some texts when I had been drinking as well )
We were only together for 3 months. He had been chasing me for 6 years, got me, said he loved me after only a month, introduced me to his 4 year old after a month or so, didn't want to loose me, wanted to have me "forever", was always trying to get me to commit to going to Vegas or something for the weekend (but I rarely have a full weekend w/o my son), talked about the future, everyday he said that he loved me, wanted me, needed me, missed me so much it hurt, "what have I done to him?", etc etc....then we had one big fight (not infidelity or anything), and everything changed...he wasn't all lovey dovey anymore, he didn't look at me the same way (before, he would look at me/stare at me with this smile on his face when I wasn't even looking, like he just felt so happy/lucky or something)....anyway, after that issue, we saw each other less, he text me less, he didn't say he loved me or missed me, when it was a multiple times a day, every day thing before.....it's like one fight was a deal breaker. The last time we actually went out and did something together after the fight, he got pretty drunk and was mentioning that he was bitter and had issues (in hindsight, I guess he was trying to warn me)....We broke up soon after that night. A few days before the breakup he was "confused", saying he didn't know the status of the divorce I was going through, he hadn't met my son yet (duh..too early, and my son is older than his), didn't get to see me whenever he wanted to, etc....then when it came down to the actual day of the breakup, we had plans to talk in person, instead I get the dreaded breakup text....says "I can't do this anymore and feel that I'm not giving you what you need. I will leave it up to you if you want to be friends" (which in my opinion, didn't 'jive" with his "confusion" a few days before)....needless to say, I was hurt/devastated/pissed...I ended up driving to his house and confronting him, which did not go over well...at all...but he did say that he never said he didn't love me, he's doing this so I can move on, because he just doesn't think it's going to work in the future.
I just don't get it (it's like Jekyl and Hyde) and I stew about it all the time, I've never really got a clear understanding of the true reasons he had and I regret all that I did afterwards when I was devasted, that has I'm sure left the impression that I am extremely needy and maybe a little crazy....but I was so blindsided. Two months later and I still want to cry at times, and constantly have an empty feeling in my gut. I miss him terribly.
I don't know what I'm looking for here on this forum....I've gotten all the "getting over them tips" out there....what I really need is a psychic or a mind-reader (LOL) to tell me what the hell happened here!! As far as I know, there is still nobody new in his life...so that doesn't seem to be the issue. UGH....I just want to stop hurting, stop thinking about him, stop missing him....PERIOD. I wish we would have never happend.
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So guys....what I'm looking for is your opinion of what happened here! Much appreciated, as it's driving me nuts and I know I won't be getting any "closer" from him.