Who to choose? What is the right decision? need advice now!

[maggie123]

This is my dilemma, and I need advice of what others think... just to help me sort out my thoughts. this is long, but details need to be put to understand situation....

My boyfriend and I moved in together last year. We truly love and have a passion for each other. What’s hard is my friends don't like him, and after this happened they stopped talking to me. It seems to me they showed their true colors (I would never do that to them, which is the sad part). Also my brothers and my parents don't really like him (we’ve had a few problems with drinking, but we don’t do that anymore it’s not worth it). He’s a really good guy to me, and he really takes care of me. I feel like he can’t even come with me to my parents because it’s going to incredibly awkward. It’s hard on me because I feel as if I have to choose. I truly love him very much, and we have a great relationship with each other and I’m happy with him. Here’s the dilemma, I feel if I break up with him it would make everyone else happy except me. I would never ask anyone to rearrange their life for me, so it would please me. So should I rearrange my life for them to make them happy? It’s so hard. It would be like if you had someone in your life that you loved to death, but everyone started to turn on you because of this person in your life. Would you just abandon that person to satisfy them?

[Mish]

Yeh partner vs relatives is always a difficult issue. Why do they hate him? It seems the easiest option for you is to create peace between both parties.

[nerdy_guy]

Are the both of you okay if he's constantly given crap by your family whenever you're together with them? I've been through this, its really a difficult decision.

[JohnW]

You're in the middle of the crossfire. Story of my life. What I've learned is that if you don't make yourself happy, who will? So if you want outside influences happy at the expense of yourself and if you're okay with that, break up with him. If you two have a great relationship, which you said you did, don't ruin it. I'll tell you, it's in incredibly hard for me to find a great girl to be with. So if you already have someone, hold on to them. In the words of my ex (also the girl I'm trying to fight for again), "the best things in life are the hardest to attain". Maybe if it's something like drinking, talk to him about it and work on it internally. Then talk to your parents and your friends and try to get them to understand that it's YOUR damn life, NOT theirs and if they don't want to deal with it, then they can leave. If they leave, they weren't worth it anyways.

[QueenofCorona]

You have to do what makes you happy and if you have to learn the hard way that is part of life. Those who love you will be there for you if that happens.

Can you elaborate futher as to why not only your friends but family don't like him? Its definitely a red flag. Sometimes our vision can become skewed by what we think we deserve compared to what our loved ones know we deserve.

[kitkitkitty]

if you're old enough to move in to your own place, you're old enough to make your own decisions. you need to do what makes you happy, or you'll forever be living other peoples life and never fulfilling what YOU want to do. it'll take a while but i think that if all past problems have been properly dealt with it's not up to you but your parents and friends to realise that he's changed and they need to accept that he makes you happy.