I made him feel rejected because I said no.

[enriqueshuera]

OK are you seriously implying you turned down sex ONCE and he blows up like this? I can certainly understand if you've turned him down a few times but ONCE? That's absurd.

Might want to give him a little dose of reality... turned down for sex ONCE is not an indication of a relationship turning into a rut, ONCE is a exceptional circumstance and he shouldn't be crying his eyes out. Seriously wake this boy up from his little fantasy world.

No, he didn't blow up. I don't want everyone thinking he went crazy because I said no this morning. We didn't really talk about it while he was still here. But, when i called him after he left, he told me that he felt rejected because he thought I was just making an excuse to not have sex with him.

[LailaK]

Tell him not to be such a drama queen. You're not always going to roll over on your back and give it up every time he wants it. Then you would be faking half of the time. It sounds to me like he's trying to emotionally blackmail you into feeling bad so you won't reject him for sex in the future. Don't feel bad or give in to this kind of behavior. It's dumb.

I swear, men are always talking about women being overly dramatic and how they are SO logical and not ruled by their emotions. This is a prime example of a man acting like a big baby for no reason.

[the_robot]

But im not being oversensitive, im not making my bf feel like he is wrong for not wanting sex, my thread is a whinge more than anything, i dont think because my bf hasnt wanted sex recently he doesnt find me attractive or want me etc etc etc, so i think I am in a better position to comment seeing as i am sort of in his position, more so than someone with no sexual experience anyway.

I know, I know, it just seems like it would make you jealous or something..

[enriqueshuera]

In a healthy sexual relationship, it should never be assumed that the other person is ALWAYS into it, which is what he was doing. This is his problem, not yours. of course, he's making it a problem for both of you, so you have to deal with it. I'm sure he has to emotionally maintain you as well, so it shouldn't be too hard for you to do it for him sometimes.

I suggest never using the word NO again, because he takes it pretty hard. Tell him, "Later" or "Give me half an hour". Nobody likes to be told no.

It bugs me that you should be in the position of The Sorry One when you didn't really do anything so wrong. He's making predictions about falling into a sexual rut based on one incident? Not exactly fair. What about his tiresome sulking? What about his lack of faith in your sexual chemistry? i would be as upset about that as he was about being turned down.

I do feel upset. It's just that we have set ourselves up on this pattern of having sex at least once a day. Now, it feels out of the ordinary if we don't have sex one day. I will definitely take your advice and not say no again. I will tell him to give me a little more time to rest.

[enriqueshuera]

Tell him not to be such a drama queen. You're not always going to roll over on your back and give it up every time he wants it. Then you would be faking half of the time. It sounds to me like he's trying to emotionally blackmail you into feeling bad so you won't reject him for sex in the future. Don't feel bad or give in to this kind of behavior. It's dumb.

I swear, men are always talking about women being overly dramatic and how they are SO logical and not ruled by their emotions. This is a prime example of a man acting like a big baby for no reason.

yeah, I know what you mean. He is definitely being overly dramatic. No, I definitely don't want him to feel rejected or to feel bad about himself. But, seriously, 6:30 is way too early.

[qwertz]

I know, I know, it just seems like it would make you jealous or something..

jealous of what??

[girl68]

No, he didn't blow up. I don't want everyone thinking he went crazy because I said no this morning.

Blowing up can be internally quiet with an attitude- and that's what I'm referring to. Stop defending him for his piss fit this morning. He took it way too far suggesting ONE TIME DENIAL equates to our relationship is in a rut. Not exactly a reasonable conclusion.

[enriqueshuera]

Blowing up can be internally quiet with an attitude- and that's what I'm referring to. Stop defending him for his piss fit this morning. He took it way too far suggesting ONE TIME DENIAL equates to our relationship is in a rut. Not exactly a reasonable conclusion.

It's not that I'm defending him. It really bothered me the way he acted. It was immature. So, what should I do?

[girl68]

Talk to him tell him it was one time and drawing such a drastic conslusion as he did... is basically far fetched and unreasonable. Tell him you adore him and that turning him down once does NOT in any way, shape or form an indication of your sexual attraction to him. I think he wants to be reassured of this.

Also mention about how his conclusion upset you (refer to GIGA's post). Because you shouldn't be the only one who is 'wrong' his assupmtion also warrants an apology to you.

[Gigabitch]

Having sex every day is not likely to last. I don't even have sex every day, and I'm some kind of crazed nympho, even after being together for four years. I hope he doesn't get his knickers all twisted the next time more than 24 hour elapse without getting some. He's being unreasonable.

[enriqueshuera]

Talk to him tell him it was one time and drawing such a drastic conslusion as he did... is basically far fetched and unreasonable. Tell him you adore him and that turning him down once does NOT in any way, shape or form an indication of your sexual attraction to him. I think he wants to be reassured of this.

Also mention about how his conclusion upset you (refer to GIGA's post). Because you shouldn't be the only one who is 'wrong' his assupmtion also warrants an apology to you.

He called me about 30 minutes after he got to work to apologize and tell me he was wrong. I think that he definitely needs some reassurance. He gets very self-conscious sometimes and I don't understand why. Maybe I was just making him feel more self-conscious when I turned him down. I tell him every day that I love him, I think he is sexy, he makes me happy, etc. But, how can I reassure him besides just telling him?

[enriqueshuera]

Having sex every day is not likely to last. I don't even have sex every day, and I'm some kind of crazed nympho, even after being together for four years. I hope he doesn't get his knickers all twisted the next time more than 24 hour elapse without getting some. He's being unreasonable.

I can't completely blame him for wanting it every day. Both of us initiate it about 50% of the time. We are both happy having sex daily. But, sometimes it gets tiring. It's like he expects it every day because we've been together for almost 2 years and we've always been very sexually active together.

[girl68]

He called me about 30 minutes after he got to work to apologize and tell me he was wrong. I think that he definitely needs some reassurance. He gets very self-conscious sometimes and I don't understand why. Maybe I was just making him feel more self-conscious when I turned him down. I tell him every day that I love him, I think he is sexy, he makes me happy, etc. But, how can I reassure him besides just telling him?

I think you can only to a degree. It's his job to BELIEVE you. So just tell him this once that your actions this morning have nothing to do with your attraction and he needs to understand that he has been MORE than lucky with sex more than once a day- and that he needs to have some real world expecatations which is what Giga is getting at. While its great to have as much sex as you are- it can be equally gratifying to have it just a few times a week so that the experience is worth just a little bit more because you waited an extra day.

[enriqueshuera]

I think you can only to a degree. It's his job to BELIEVE you. So just tell him this once that your actions this morning have nothing to do with your attraction and he needs to understand that he has been MORE than lucky with sex more than once a day- and that he needs to have some real world expecatations which is what Giga is getting at. While its great to have as much sex as you are- it can be equally gratifying to have it just a few times a week so that the experience is worth just a little bit more because you waited an extra day.

Ya that is true. But, how can we start having slightly less sex without me making him feel rejected? :-/

[VincenzoG91]

Buy him an inflatable sex doll.