Sex with a Virgin

[girl68]

I'm not sure why she needs to know my views on those things at this point.

This statement makes you look like a total dumb ass. WHY? BECAUSE:
1) what if she says she loves you because she had sex with you- and you don't equate love with sex?
2) what if she gets knocked up and you firmly believe any child out of wedlock shall be aborted
3) what if you LOVE anal sex and she firmly believe its only for gay ppl?
4) what if she thinks that because you have sex with a person you should also for sure be getting married

That's why you DO NOT want any surprises in these cases. I don't think you're ready to take a gals virginity. The gal who lost it after a month is a rare exception- not the rule, clearly stated by everyone else.

[lahnnabell]

To be honest, if a guy took me away for the weekend, yes, I would anticipate sex. BUT I would be very upset if he waited till the last possible moment to talk about it. That feels like blackmail, even if that isn't your intention.

Getting her there in the room with you, all those pre-made plans in your head, and THEN bringing it up, makes it look like you've been planning it. Like, "Oh, we're already here, and oh, I just happen to have some condoms. Maybe you want to have sex?" I'd be so pissed. When a guy brings up sex in the heat of the moment, it feels like blackmail. That is how I lost my virginity, and I wish I'd waited. It's just so much pressure. You feel that if you turn him down in that moment that he'll never look at you again.

This whole situation is so much more convenient for you. You are planning this whole ordeal, yet you wanna know how she's going to interpret all this stuff. You should start by asking.

[Junket]

This one time when I was visiting my g/f in Texas, I asked her to stop by 7-11 real quick.

I went in and bought her a gas card, because she had been driving me around all weekend.

That night we did our usual oral thing, because we weren't having sex, yet. But I noticed she was acting very frigid, which was not normal.

I couldn't put my finger on it, but she never said anything.

Next day, I pulled out the 7-11 card and gave it to her before I got on the plane to head home.

She had a look of horror on her face.

She said she thought I went in to 7-11 to buy condoms, and she was terrified that I was going to pull them out. She said she probably would've had sex with me because she was so enamored with me at the time (looking back), but she also would've resented me a bit for putting her in that position.

I was pissed because I was trying to be nothing but sweet, and the whole time she thought I was being an inconsiderate jerk.

[Love4Everyone21]

You guys might have skipped some of my posts. I said I WILL talk to her before hand (as in at least 4-5 days), I was just questioning some more ppl to get some more views. If she says no, that's totally fine with me... If she says yes, all the better (and I'll treat her right when it happens).

To Girl68: Please don't come back at me, Im not trying to be a jerk or dumb (and remember I will talk to her about it before her first time), but to answer your questions in order:

1. If she says she loves me after sex, that's totally fine with me. If not, that's also fine.
2. I'm going to use a condom, of course. I will talk to her about pregnancy and the possibilities though before we start having sex regularly. Sorry if that sounds immature, but Im not going say to her when she's a virgin, "So, if I accidentally get you pregnant..." I'll be careful.
3. If she ends up not liking anal, that's fine with me. That's something to talk about down the road.
4. We've talked about that one, she doesn't.

[girl68]

You asked why would she need to know? There are plenty very important reasons why she should know. My point was that you sounded like an idiot for even IMPLYING that these things are obsecure and unimportant.

My opinion stands: 1 months is still too short.

[Love4Everyone21]

Hey, thanks for the posts.... I was going to take most of your advice and talk to her about it in a couple weeks. I didn't get a chance to. She asked me to take her virginity last night (I never brought it up). She said it went really well (in part to some of your comments). It's been three weeks since we started dating. I wasn't expecting her to ask what so ever, but I guess it just seemed right to her; it was just very romantic.

Thanks again...

[the_robot]

I can't believe a real virgin would give it out in just 3 weeks... just saying

[lahnnabell]

For all we know the OP just said that to shut us all up. We weren't exactly giving him the answers he obviously wanted. But whatevs.

[Love4Everyone21]

For all we know the OP just said that to shut us all up. We weren't exactly giving him the answers he obviously wanted. But whatevs.

I'm sorry here.... But I really take offense to that. It's not an easy thing to come on here and reveal such personal things about a relationship... That's pathetic that you think Im lying (or even hinting at it).

I wrote out a lot, spent a lot to time looking at YOUR posts, now all of a sudden I'm going to come on here and lie? Why? To get you off my back? That's easy, don't visit the website. And why would I ask you to keep commenting if I wanted people off my back! I was taking most of your advice! Pathetic.

I know the truth and that's all that matters. I hope other veteran posters like yourself have more faith/trust the users on this forum. A moderator should let you know that it looks really bad when a person with over 1,800 posts (pretty much represents these forums) pretty much accuses a brand new user, looking for legit advice, of lying about something sooo personal.

That's enough ranting, that just kind of ticked me off though.

[lahnnabell]

People have lied before. I don't know you, so don't take it personally. If that's what happened, then it happened. Have enough self assurance to not need the personal approval of a bunch of forum members.

And I'm sure Giga will see this, so she can decide what she wants to do with me if my post merits it.

[hello1]

If you think about it, this girl waited till she was 21 to lose it. So she obviously wasn't just out there looking for sex or she would lost it ages ago. The guy properly someone she saw as a long term boyfriend so felt safer to lose it sooner.

[IndiReloaded]

Well, you seem like a considerate enough lover. At least you came here for advice first, so kudos for that. I'm assuming its not some stupid post-teen bragging thing. Taking someone's V is no big deal. Someone has to do it and at least you sound like you care her experience isn't a poor one. Just be gentle on her emotionally b/c its a bigger deal for gals than guys. I certainly hope you aren't planning on dumping her anytime soon and even maybe considering something long term.

[rishi]

i was wancerding who u r

[the_robot]

i was wancerding who u r

????

Does not compute.

[doppelgaenger]

Sex with a virgin is like being a crash dummy for Mercedes; yeah, it's a nice car and all, but it's driving a prototype, and it's gonna CRASH!