Getting turned down for sex....

[BoredButterfly]

I've been with my bf for almost three years now. Granted, I know two people get comfortable with each other and sex becomes less important, but it's now coming down to a point where I'm lucky to get "lucky" three times a week. If I come up and ask him for sex, he'll usually put it off, because he's busy doing something else. He'd prefer to put it off til bedtime. Or he'll put it off to play WOW or forget I asked altogether. I've actually come out in a towel, dropped it to the floor and he told me it'd have to wait! Then he tells me I can't get mad about it, because I know he has other things to do. So am I supposed to try to be horny according to his schedule or what? I'm getting so frustrated!!!!! I'm not a hideous person, so what's the problem here?

[IncognitoSir]

Have you asked him what the problem is? If not, you should? 3 times a week is pretty good for two people that work in my opinion but everyone is different. Sounds like your sexual appetite far exceeds his and for some that may be a dealbreaker. You need to sit him down and talk to him about it. He may not realize how much this is bothering you since you guys have been dating for 3 years now.

[QueenofCorona]

Is he addicted to WOW? People can get addicted to anything I suppose. Maybe you need to dress up like a WOW character. And what man "forgets" about sex?

[IncognitoSir]

Is he addicted to WOW? People can get addicted to anything I suppose. Maybe you need to dress up like a WOW character. And what man "forgets" about sex?

I'm not into WOW at all but if a chick dressed up like a skimpy 9th elf mohawk I'd be turned on lol.

[lahnnabell]

I don't think you should worry about the 3 times a week so much as his supposed avoidance of sex in the moment. Once in a while, we all get turned down, but routinely?

I think you should sit down and talk with him about it. Not when he's got "other things to do", but when you both have time and are calm. No tempers, no attitude here, or he'll just shut down on you.

Getting turned down stings regardless of the person's reasons, and sex is important at every stage in a relationship so long as you want to maintain the romance and a healthy balance.

Perhaps he's a little bored with the sexual routine? If that's the case, I'm not sure why he insists on putting it off till bedtime... Ugh. Another reason men aren't as simple as they claim to be.

[Shy Guy]

Turned down from sex for WOW!!! Hahaha, that is sad in so many ways, I'd be pissed. Clearly geek boy has to do some to do serios rearranging of his priorities.

[nerdy_guy]

When you drop your towel again and he tells you it would have to wait, then tell him that you're going out to find someone else that doesn't put her in a queue.

[Mish]

Your sex drives might be out of sync and if you demand sex from him then this may be a ressistance on his part. Having sex when demanded (espeically in a monotonous sex life relationship) is one of the most furstrating experiences and I wouldn't blame someone for declining.

[lahnnabell]

I didn't get the impression that she was saying, "Screw me or else...". I thought that she asked or presented herself to him, and got shot down or told "later" which she's been kind enough to oblige up until now. Her simply waiting around all the time for him isn't a good strategy either. That is only going to breed more resentment and frustration.

[Mish]

She said she is lucky to have sex three times a week and she keeps asking him for it. What if his sex drive is once a week only? Her requests then become unreasonable demands from his point of view. Especially if there is any monotony or routine in their sex life. So who is right or wrong here? The OP is trying to say the he's the guilty one. But it's not as clear cut is it? When you look at these things you can't automatically pick up just one point of view you need to see it from both perspectives.

I'm also a bit concerned about OP's last comment, saying that she's not hideous. This speaks to me that OP doesn't understand that the entire issue may have nothing to do with her looks, but with sex drive and complicated dynamics of their sexual relationship.

[lahnnabell]

Their obvious lack of a mutually beneficial sex life is definitely cause for a conversation between them, as I stated in my first response. If it comes down to it, the OP may just have to realize that this is what she's going to get. She can either stick with it and hope that the resentment does not build, or she can leave and find someone more compatible. I'm curious as to how often they were having sex before this.

I mean, a steady 3 times a week is good average in my book. My boyfriend's and my sex life varies depending on our work schedules, tiredness factors (we're both servers and tend to work late or pull doubles), so sometimes we can only manage to cuddle during the Sox game before passing out. What is important is that we talk about our sex life openly. If you can't do this with your SO, then something is wrong. Sounds like you both are avoiding other important aspects of a sexual relationship, like talking about it.

How do you expect to know what's going on with your SO if you don't ask?