need your help guys

[infected]

hi guys , im 4m india and 24 years old
i need your help guys to sort out my problem
im in love with my classmate since a very long time, say 10 years. i conveyed my love to her long back, she rejected, its all over. im deeply in love with that girl, and dreaming of her only
recently 2 years back i got in touch with her in a social networking site, she called me, we exchanged numbers and was talking these days.i conveyed my love once again, she said shes in love with some guy and was talking to me just to convey that. my heart is broken once again
she talks to me regularly, when she is in financial troubles i helped her out, all their family members are good to me, except that she doesnt marry me.
she is saying she will get married in a couple of months time.she likes me and loves me as a friend and cannot marry me as she hasent thought of me that way, and is in love with other. the other guy is her classmate in her graduation. im not ready to leave her and married to some other, wot to do now. my mind is going bad and thinking of wrong ideas
guys please help me to overcome this

[lovebugguy]

There's really no other way to solve your problem but to accept that she doesn't feel the same way about you. Sometimes, life throws us hard experiences and we just have to live with it. I think what made things harder for you is the fact that you helped her during the times she needed help. And because you were the one to help her through some rough times, you could (I could be wrong) have felt that she owed you something and you felt that the score can be settled if she feels the same way about you.

There are a lot of things you can do to overcome your problem. One thing would be to have closure. Why not write a letter to her and tell her everything you want to tell her? Also include in that letter that as much as it pains you, you accept that she doesn't love you the way you do and you want to move on with your life--without her. Then get busy with things. Get busy with work. Hang out with your friends. Your friends are the best people to help you through this trying time. Everyone has friends that will help them overcome sad experiences. Then improve yourself. Strive to be better so that when the next woman comes along, you will feel more confident to date again.

[infected]

T I think what made things harder for you is the fact that you helped her during the times she needed help. And because you were the one to help her through some rough times, you could (I could be wrong) have felt that she owed you something and you felt that the score can be settled if she feels the same way about you.

hey buggy thanx for suggestion. but it isnt like i feel she owed me something, actually i do it for my happiness and feel over joyed helping her. i wasnt able to digest that shes is going to leave me in a couple of months and is getting married someone.
what i thought is precious and mine forever is leaving me, that is hurting me a lot

[infected]

T I think what made things harder for you is the fact that you helped her during the times she needed help. And because you were the one to help her through some rough times, you could (I could be wrong) have felt that she owed you something and you felt that the score can be settled if she feels the same way about you.

hey buggy thanx for suggestion. but it isnt like i feel she owed me something, actually i do it for my happiness and feel over joyed helping her. i wasnt able to digest that shes is going to leave me in a couple of months and is getting married someone.
what i thought is precious and mine forever is leaving me, that is hurting me a lot

[adam95]

sorry dude but if she doesnt love you, there isn't anything you can do. you have to move on, you have to let her go. just do things that will take your mind off of her. time heals all wounds, it will pass.
if theres anything i can do to help just say so,
sorry friend.

[lovebugguy]

It does hurt, but what can you do when you've done all that you can to try to get her to love you? She knows where you're coming from and it's up to her. If she doesn't want to reciprocate, then there's nothing you can do, sad to say. But life goes on. Treat this as a learning experience. Something you will look back on and feel that you've become stronger and a better person after going through this.
Adam is right. It will pass.

[infected]

in fact im thinking of wrong ideas, if the other guy wasnt there, she would have loved me. this is striking me towards bad ideas. everything is fair in love and war. i know it is wrong but.......

[kitkitkitty]

i don't think you should think of her getting married as 'leaving you'. you were never together so it's not like she's led you on, she's always said that you were a friend and she didn't mess round with your head. you're doing it to yourself. you need to understand that she's happy with this guy. it was you that chose to help her which is great but it's NOT her fault if she doesn't feel the same.

[infected]

wot is said is exactly correct, but the idea of her getting married to someone is unbearable.

[ecojeanne]

you don't own her.

[lovebugguy]

You have to find a way to be okay with the situation because if you let it bring you down, the only person on the losing side is you. She will get married and be happy with her new life while you are left behind in the past feeling hurt and sorry. So start to find ways to be okay with it. There are tons of things that you can get busy with to keep yourself from feeling depressed.

[adam95]

in fact im thinking of wrong ideas, if the other guy wasnt there, she would have loved me. this is striking me towards bad ideas. everything is fair in love and war. i know it is wrong but.......

now that wouldn't have been the situation. she didnt love you before she got married. just keep telling yourself that it wouldn't have worked out any way since she didnt see you that way. i know it sucks feeling like this. try and get a new hobby or learn a new language, do something new to keep your mind off of her.

[lovebugguy]

No matter how strongly we think we feel about someone, we have to still be reasonable. You have to accept it when things don't go your way. Don't burden yourself any longer. Accept it and move on. There are other good things in store for you. This is just a phase you have to go through and a lesson you can learn.

Adam is right. Try to learn a new hobby or something. Focus on something else aside from her. You'll do really fine.

[TXChris]

This is a very provocative and frankly spooky statement particularly the way you left it. Are you implying that you are considering removing the other guy?

[infected]

T Are you implying that you are considering removing the other guy?

yes, ofcourse. i didnt get any other idea