How does one go about getting engaged?

[Junket]

Isn't that a ridiculous question?

But I never had any reason to think about it, and now here I am, putting serious thought into it.

Do ya just buy some ring and propose?

And to those who are already aware of that I've been thinking on this, don't worry, I'm not planning on doing this tomorrow or anything, I just realized that since I've been thinking about it, I'm not even sure what it is I would do.

I did ask her what her opinion was on rings, and she said that the sentiment was more important than the object. But if somebody with a lot of money proposed without a ring, it would look pretty bad on them.

Personally, I hate the wedding ring industry. Nobody is going to swindle me of 3 months pay just because their ads dictate it. So I'm curious if there are any alternatives to wedding rings.

OH.

And is there a difference between an engagement ring, and a wedding ring?

I'd hate to believe guys actually buy two rings. That's absolutely absurd.

[Charlie Boy II]

Ask Dopple,

I have no idea.

[Junket]

Ask Dopple,

Now I just want to delete this thread.

[lahnnabell]

Every culture has different rules on engagement and wedding rings.

The wedding industry has made huge dollars by pulling on the heartstrings of women and feeding them the notion that there needs to be a diamond involved. Really, it should come down to what is affordable and what your significant other wants. It's great that you got her thoughts on rings because that will prevent you from going overboard.

I agree with you that the wedding industry is ridiculous. What is supposed to be an event celebrating your love for another, turns into a giant money-making scheme. People spend thousands of dollars on flowers, food, rings, dresses. All for one day. I get that you want to celebrate, but you can just as easily do that with your closest loved ones and the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, minus the elaborate decorations and gobs of money-spending.

A ring as important as an engagement or wedding ring should be a gift from the heart. Personally, I would be happy to marry the man I love. Yes, a ring would be a lovely way to show off my love, but it's not necessary. I don't need the validation of a ring on my finger.

In my eyes, the most important decisions about marriage get over-looked because of the excitement of wedding planning. People get excited over the notion that, "Yes! This person wants spend the rest of their life with me! I'm wanted!" Because of that sudden rush of warm fuzzy chemicals, logic goes out the window. People forget to talk about their goals, making sure they're still on the same page with their lives, kids, jobs, living situations. All that stuff should come before the question. Not all at once, but in bits and pieces. I've seen so many engagements fall apart because both parties realized in the process of planning their life together that they realized that they really weren't a good match.

[ecojeanne]

if it's the sentiment that matters then buy the simplist ring, classic ring, the shop will help you choose, altho i think some women like to be there at the time to choose, maybe arrange a surprise date to go together.the wedding ring is straight forward and yeh you do have to buy it too.

[Kagerou]

I was sneaky when I got my Fiancee's ring. I had a group of her friends take her shopping and 'accidentally' turn up in a ring shop (she had no clue! haha), I went in 2 weeks after and bought the one she had been drooling at. Thankfully it wasn't too pricey but there are some, I don't know how people afford half of them.

1 month after I bought it I invited her closest friends, my parents (hers are not in the picture) and our eldest child to a restaurant and proposed there. She said it couldn't have been better.

If I was you I'd think about the price less, there are some amazing ones that don't cost over the top, just make sure when you give it to her it's in a nice place.

[vashti]

The wedding ring is separate from the engagement ring, but they are worn together on the same finger, so you have to be sure the shapes work well together. Engagement rings are the ones that typically have the diamond in them, and the wedding ring is usually a plain band. You give the engagement ring when she accepts your proposal, and the wedding band at the wedding.

I don't really know why it is necessary to have a ring at all when you propose, though of course, that is the way they show it in movies. I would rather have the guy just ask me if I want to get married, and then go with him to pick out my own ring after a budget has been set, but if your girl is the mushy, romantic sort, or if she is very particular about having the perfect ring (and I don't think she is this type) it may not be a good idea.

Anyway, the thing to keep in mind is that the way you ask her is going to be told to every single person you know, and even your future children, so make it memorable. I don't mean silly public displays like so many people do nowadays, but some sweet, tender words from the heart would be nice.

[QueenofCorona]

Don't make it something fake when you do it. Do what is natural for you two. If you aren't over the top, who cares as long as you are both happy with it.

Confession...I've actually been looking at rings too, unlike every other girl out there its just not something I ever started doing when I turned 13. I find I just am not the run of the mill "princess cut 1 carat" type of girl that a lot of the girls I know seem to all have, its just boring. I want something that is me. Keep your eye on Craigslist for unique rings or for estate sales. You can find some really nicely priced different jewelry, the antique stuff just has more character to me.

[Junket]

Yeah, it wasn't until I was typing up this thread that I realized there are two rings.

That seems so excessive to me, and I'm pretty sure she would feel me on that, too.

I think she's fond of the traditional aspect of it, but she doesn't wear jewelry, (not even earrings), so I don't imagine she'd be in a hurry to have 2 rings on her fingers so that I could burn 2 holes in my pocket.

I did a quick browse of "alternative" rings last night. Titanium and Tungsten carbide seem to be the popular alternative metals. They do look pretty damn cool, and they're a hell of a lot cheaper than gold or silver. Unlike silver they won't tarnish. I read somethin' about Tungsten irritating people's skin, though.

[vashti]

Silver won't tarnish either, if it's worn all the time. (In case you are interested.)

[Junket]

It'd depend on the price. I've read that if something is titled as a "wedding" ring, it automatically costs more.

I wouldn't wear a ring simply because of the work that I do.

Heh, a copper ring would be pretty cool, (for me).

[Gigabitch]

Heh, a copper ring would be pretty cool, (for me).

It would turn your finger green.

My husband and I talked about this at length, since he knows how picky I am. I made it clear that anything with a raised setting wasn't going to work and wouldn't actually be worn, so that traditional engagement ring with a diamond sticking onto it was a no-go. I had one of those with my first marriage and found that it got caught on things, and once it actually scratched my daughter's face when I was doing her hair at which point I took it off and never wore it again. Your girlfriend might feel the same way if she thinks about it. She isn't a sit-and-pose kind of woman; she gets her hands into things and gets them done.

I ended up with a wedding band made of white gold with 10 diamonds set into it, so it has a pretty flat profile but is still very feminine. It came from a place that deals in ethically sourced diamonds, too, so it wasn't mined by African slave labor, which was important to me.

I wouldn't say it was particularly inexpensive, but it cost a lot less than a big honking diamond that I wouldn't have worn anyway and I really love it.

The ring I picked out for him was tungsten and platinum, so it cost about the same as a gold one but looks way cooler.

[hurt_confuzd]

I got my wife a barbed wire ring.

[Petit Papillon]

White gold is cool

[MsSydneyLane]

You dont have to buy a 24K gold ring to make the appropriate engagement proposal. So long as it comes from the heart and.. dont think of money too much or the value of the rings. If you really love the gurl, you'll work hard to buy the best after all ur only gona get engage once. And you're gf will understand whatever you can do for the moment if she truly loves u. Making good memories doesnt mean spending a lot. Good luck and best wishes.