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Thread: Visiting GF. sister doesn't want me there?

  1. #1
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    Visiting GF. sister doesn't want me there?

    Story goes like this.
    I've been in a relationship with my gf for 2-2.5 years [met in first year university, took a 6 months break in between]. She lives in another part of the country, and came to my city just for studies. Next month I plan to visit her and was told I could stay at her place. [great!]. Now.. 1 week before I go, she tells me for the 3 weeks I'm there, more half of it I'll need to be living in a hotel @_@ cause her sister isn't use to strangers around... Her sister is 18-19 and they live by themselves in a large house because their parents work in another country.
    My question is I'm already shelling out close to a grand to visit her. and now I have to pay another $500-800 because her sister is a bit unsettled with having her gf's bf sleeping over.
    When I asked/tried to see if my gf could ask her sis about it, she became really aggressive; and was like "fine if you don't want to pay for it, i will."

    I might be overreacting but this doesn't seem fair for me. ONE MORE note is that we might not see each other for a year cause she graduated and I'm continuing studies
    Background Information:
    University student
    -I don't have alot of money to toss around.
    -Parents are relatively wealthy but I try to pay for everything from part time jobs[modeling] and investing.., etc cause I hate using their money. {they'd gladly pay the expenses for me, but I don't want them to}

    CLIFFNOTES

    - university student visiting gf [met in university been together for 2.5 years]
    - she lives on the other side of the country
    - paying close to a grand to visit her
    - tells me a week before I leave that I'll probably have to spend another 500-800 for a hotel for 2weeks because her sister isn't comfortable around strangers
    -they live together alone in a large house because parents and siblings work in another country
    ->sister is 19 years old-going into university.
    - gf gets really aggressive/defensive when I suggest *convincing* or finding a way to let me sleep over
    - might not see gf for a year as I'm doing further studies and she finished

    I've even offered to pack a sleeping bag and sleep in the basement and gf still says her sister might feel comfortable
    I'm just wondering what I should do next. {Personally I think her sister should mature up or at least overcome w/e problem she has with outsiders.....}
    Any advice will be appreciated.

  2. #2
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    Can you cut the trip down to just the time period when the sister won't be around? Or can your girlfriend pay half of the hotel cost? Can you stay at a hostel?
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  3. #3
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    IMHO, I think your relationship is more trouble than its worth.

    Go for someone who lives close to you. LDRs don't work.
    I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.

  4. #4
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    Why only half the time? Will her sister be gone?

    Tell her you didn't budget for a hotel and made you plans based on her offer to stay with her. If she won't budge, change your ticket and tell her you're not coming. Raze is right. This is more trouble than it's worth.
    Spammer Spanker

  5. #5
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    DUDE let her pay. She said you can't stay and she really wants you to come and you can't afford the hotel and she offers to pay for that? Let her.

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    only half the time because she said to give 1-2 weeks for her sister to get use to me being there... but it's not like I'm there for long.. it's3.5 weeks @_@ and we aren't seeing each other for a year... I really want to question my gf and see if there's a *real* reason..
    Last edited by maxil; 28-07-10 at 07:19 AM.

  7. #7
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    First off, I must say that this thread was written like a true college student, haha I like it!

    To address the issue at hand:

    If you're already paying the entire cost to come see her and she is the one trying to accomodate her sister then IMO she should be the one paying your hotel fees, or at the very least offering to pay half.
    Be careful with your heart, because when someone seems too good to be true, they usually are.

  8. #8
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    Okay goodluck sounds like you pissed her off the first time asking :S

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxil View Post
    only half the time because she said to give a week for her sister to get use to me being there... but it's not like I'm there for long.. it's3.5 weeks @_@ and we aren't seeing each other for a year... I really want to question my gf and see if there's a *real* reason..
    So if the sister doesn't budge, you will actually be spending the entire time there in a hotel? Yeah, either your girlfriend pays or you should consider staying home and moving on.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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