Hate to love her...

[Kurbz]

Well heres the deal 6 months a go, my freind had this chick which always followed him around and stuff and seemed to love him, that chick is small chubby nice and kinda cute, after he heard rumours of them being together he stopped talking to her and she was heartbroken, i was hanging out with them a lot and after they did not talk anymore i decided to just share equal time with them. She did not wanna admit that she had a crush on him and pretended as if it did not bother her. The guys which my freind hung out with were kidna annyoing so as time passed i started to hang out with her more and more and i fell inlove with her sadly. She tried to get a relationshiop going with me but i rejected it as i knew that firstly its kinda like backstabbing my freind and secondly i was only her second choice on top of that id lose respect from the guys as i would have hit on that girl, as time passed i still loved her and i think she still loved him but i did not want to start anything with her, she tried to hit on two other guys during those 6 months but failed miserably and came back to me... well after that i kinda felt as if i was just being used but i still loved her so i decided to stay freinds with her as i really could not stand not talking with her :-/ time went on and i tried to make it seem as if i was just a freind but it seemed as if she did not really like that, she introduced me to her freinds and stuff and i introduced her to mine, from outside we already semmed like a couple without the touching ofc. I still did nto wanna try with her cus i had the feeling of just being the second choice and that she still loved him which really pissed me off and the fact that she may not even love me and just use me to get over him, but than this one day i was kinda being mean to her and she than said y dont u ever try with me, i answered ill try with u if ur willing to, she agreed and the next two days we were in constant contanct the whole day id get calls from her and so on, than on when school started she wanted to hold hands and stuff and hug, i still had my doubts and did not really touch her, for about two weeks this went on until we were by a freinds house and i held her hand out of no where, to be honest that moment felt magical dont think i was ever that happy in my life, the whole evening we were watching the FIFA soccer match holding hands i was not even paying attention to the match but just holding her hands as long as possible, the next day we did not see each other but the day after we hung around with a couple of freinds for a picnic which was my idea and than after i went home with her on the way we stayed at a metro station for about an hour just making out until she left, the next day we met up before we met up with freinds and just made out and the same with the day after, but the thing was on the 3rd day she had to live to holland and than peru for about 1 and a half months, i was infatuated than and i forgot about my doubts, for two weeks we would be saying all those cheesy things until she went to peru for a month, and i went to hungary for about a few days i had time to think about the relationshipa and than my dounts came up again and this time stronger than ever i was pretty much depressed the whole time and decided to confront her with it if i was just a second choice or just there to fix her broken heart, i told her that im not there for that, she seemed kinda cool about it but not pissed i apologized after and she immediatly forgot about it making me think that if she really loved me she would have been pissed about the things i wrote, now were in an awkward situations cus she know about my doubts and i dont know if she is acting nervous now because she thinks she got caught or because she thinks ill leave her and wants to keep it on the cool so that she does not get her heart broken again.

The question is should i continue this relationship with her or just break up, do u guys think she loves me or she is just using me?

[Kurbz]

if u want more explantion just ask me

[adam95]

wow thats complicated.
well i think that shes not that interested in you (no offense). well if she didnt react at all after you said what you said then maybe she doesnt feel much at all.
I mean, just imagining me doing that to my girlfriend, she'd probably kick me out of the house.
if you really love her, then talk to her again. ask her her opinion.
are you guys broken up at the moment or are you guys together?

[Kurbz]

The thing is i have no clue if she loves me or not, or if she is really that into the guy which she had a crush on or not, :-/ i mean she introduces me to her freinds and stuff which means she likes me but im not sure if she does it to show her other freinids that she got some other guy instead of me after being rejected or because she actually likes me, she even introduces me to people that dont know that she had a crush on him :-/. I mean she does more for the relationship than i do, i just send the cute messages to her for 6 months we were in constant contact maybe for 2 days we had none. On the other hand shed never really do sumtin alone with me, maybe making out b4 going out with freinds but thats pretty much it. We are together now but she kinda feels that i dont like her as much anymore after i confronted her with the fact that i she might be using me, she said that she would never do such a thing that she would rather stay single than do that to me and that she would never want to hurt me... This is far to complicated for me and im too infatuated to make a descision on this and i really need some help. Note that i love her i think, but sometimes i try to avoid her, she lately started to make all the initial contacts and so on and so forth, but on the other hand i have dumped chicks before and 2 girls that i dumped before had a crush on me for 1 and a half, and 4 years respectively so im not sure if she is still infatuated by him or not. This relationship is only draning the life out of me, and if i continue with her there will also be rumours that i ditched my freind for her and stuff which is true but i dont really wanna cope with them :-/ should i dump her or continue with her, note also that we only had 1 fight for the past 7 months and only had joked around most of the time, i think the first few months she tried to get togehther with me to get the freind jelaous but i did not want to but she still kept hanging around with me mainly because i made a clique with her sister me and two other guys so leaving me after i did not want to try at first was kinda difficult for her, but than afterwards she kept making initial contacts often before summer hols she made all the initial contacts... now i dont know maybe i just think a lot but its tuff for me to figure out this situations, i have been thinking of all various situations and stuff tryed to trust my gut feelings but it seems to have a lot of mood swings so i cant rely at some point i dont wanna see her cus i feel used and other times im so infatuated that i cant help but pretend as if i randomly meet her in the hallways, i dont know y i stick to her maybe because she is like extasy to my life or a challenge but someone tell me wut should i do i could write a book about this story now

[Kurbz]

she says i love u a lot to me btw but in a weird way sometimes high pitched does that mean she does not mean it :-/ see im doint it again, im starting to think i dont love her but shes just a challenge

[adam95]

well i dont know if i can help you out but heres what i think.
when a relationship starts to feel like work and stresses you out, then its not worth being it. Relationships take a lot of work, i know, but it should feel like it was all worth it in the end. if it doesnt and your just always stressed, maybe you should just end it.

[mbdwaj]

I think what you did was a brave thing.

Talk to her. Tell her that you are looking for a relationship with her. And if she thinks she can give you any chance then go for a date or something.

Listen, man. She already knows about your doubts. So now its her time to worry as you have know your heart open for her. If she says no then I must say she is not very good in making good decisions. If yes, then you need to be more mature and give her time and love to make her forget about that other person. So, you will have some more work to do on her.

[I had the very similar case, girl said no. And I am kind of happy for that. I am not miserable now. Ofcourse it hurts but, still its better now.]