I just don't know what to do

[purplerain2010]

I have been getting to know a guy online for 2 years and we have met once recently for a few hours. We felt comfortable with each other and after that meeting which I initiated, I returned home and we continued communicating online and through phone. After a while, I found it tough to communicate with him as he would sometimes not respond to my smses and phone calls. I knew from the time he has return to his family after a period of 10 years, he has been facing many challenges but I feel that his challenges with his family should not be an excuse for him to find it hard communicating with me since he could still find time getting onto the Internet,etc. Now I finally wrote to him a long email and I ended it with giving him a timeframe to decide whether he wants to pursue our relationship further. I gave him a week and he did not reply my email after that. All of a sudden, I get this email with a news article that he found interesting about dating and explained to me about some of his relatives being ill. I was feeling flabbergasted by his response - almost like nothing happened! I truly care for him and I always wished I could be there for him when he is facing all this problems but at the same time I feel like my cares has been taken for granted and that he seem to find it so difficult to decide anything with his life now. We are no doubt spiritually connected and it is because of that I held on. I am trying to take it easy as if this is meant to be, things will happen but it's tough when I feel I should start meeting other people but my heart still feels strongly for him.

[xxazurexx]

So what was the communication like and prior to your meeting him?

[purplerain2010]

we use to communicate almost every week either by email/skype and if it was a phone call, we could talk for hours. he would normally talk more than me and it felt good. i have been more forthcoming than he has because he has also experience bitter relationship experience while this is the first for me. he has mentioned to me of his fears and now that he is back home, he is still uncertain of his future. i know i can't expect much from him now and now that he has sent me this message after my email which the explained the fact that i like him and wants to know if still thinks this should continue, I just don't know how to respond to this coz I don't know what is he expecting me to assume! are we just friends now or is he thinking that he wants to restart or what?? why is he sending this article about dating and asking how my family is doing and saying that his grandparents are ill, etc?? I just don't get. If you are a man, maybe you would know better why you would respond to a woman like this.

[xxazurexx]

No I'm not a man, but I've had plenty of experience with men in differing situations and circumstances. I'm an outsider looking in on your situation and sometimes what is not so obvious to people can be blatently obvious to others like me.

It would seem that he's 'cooled' off with the communication and since you two met, since prior to the meeting you both chatted often and spent hours talking. Now what do you suppose that means?
When a man distances, I'd take it to mean one thing only....his interest had waned. If this was an 'interested' guy, he'd be still communicating regularly and consistantly. More so and if you have lved up to his expectations in real life. You wouldn't have to be chasing him and to get him talk to you, which is what it appears you are doing.

He is totally avoiding all talk of 'where is this going' and chose to ignore the content of your last email, but come back with a 'cock and bull' excuse his family is ill....in other words, he is busy looking after his family. It took him a WEEK to let you know this. Interested men are never too busy for you and they don't go a WEEK without some form of communication. They make time to call you and no matter what may be going on in his life.

Can you be 100% sure that this guy is not married?

In my honest opinion, I don't think this guy is looking to pursue anything further with you, or he'd be responding to your emails with enthusiasm, be as enthsiastic as you in regard to talking about being together and making plans to see you again. He wouldn't be ignoring you.

[purplerain2010]

Thanks for the advice. I have been told that a number of times about guys who, when interested in a girl will go all out to make it work. But what about men who have had previous experiences that were bitter and have somehow made them over careful about their future relationships? If this guy is not that interested in me and knows that I am very interested in him, then why does he still want to be in contact with me (even after meeting)? He has spoken to my mom and she bluntly asked him if he like me and he said yes (but i know some guys would do this just to please). I realized guys don't like to be chased for and probably I should make the conscious effort to step back and stop responding for a while. He did ask me questions about having a future together and the circumstances to expect based on what we have observed about one another. We talk about marriage in general.

Anyways, I am just gonna take this easy and not think too much about it now. Thanks again.