Are online long distance reltionships harder or easier?

[aer]

Hi,

I was curious if LDRs are easier in some cases than relationships of 2 people in the same city? The reason why I ask is because I started dating my ex boyfriend again a month before he left for Italy for the year to teach. When we first dated it was only for 2.5 months and we broke up for various reasons. Then we meet up again and we start dating before he leaves. Things have been great for the last 6 months; we talk for hours on msn/skype and we have both fallen in love with each other. I keep wondering if when he comes back if this will still be perfect like it is now? Or maybe it is harder to fight online than it is in person? What are your guys experiences with LDRs? Do you ever find out the other person isn't all you thought he/she was?

[Junket]

LDR's suck.

There's absolutely nothing pleasant about them.

In your case, it sounds like a pseudo fantasy.

You're not living with each other, so you don't need to deal with the realities of an every day relationship.

So maybe in your case it is "easier" if by "easy" you mean false.

An LDR does nothing but put strain on my healthy relationship with my g/f.

[xxazurexx]

^Agree. You aren't living the 'reality' of a real relationship, hence easier.

When I was in one, we fought while apart, yet things were brilliant when we were together.

I'd rather have the 'real' thing work out, than have it work out over skype or whatever other means.

[mitsuki]

Hi,

I've had a few LDR and just as Frasbee says, when you look back at it, it might be (probably) dissapointing.
You might ask yourself a few questions: will he be there for you if you get horribly sick? Do you often go out or are you rather sticked to your computer doing basically nothing? Is it possible for the both of you to be in love without any physical contact? (I'm not saying guys are bad, but most guys do have their "needs", and if they don't something might be wrong with them, ...)
Maybe LDR's do work out for you, but they didn't for me.
Also keep in mind that people act differently on the net than in real life, I know of people who really seem nice on the net, but when you meet up with them they tend to yell at you or make you feel like you are worth nothing. Even if the differences arn't that extreme, the both of you might still be different in real life in a way that you don't match as such. If you can't get along in real life, then you might wonder where your online relationship might take you, marrying and stuff won't be included right?
Did you already have lots of real life realtionships? If you had and you still feel happier this way, then don't be bothered by wondering what's easiest. You're probably not in a hurry and will eventually discover for yourself wether or not you can deal with the distance. I do know of one LDR that did work out, so it's not impossible.

Hope that helps you, even if it's just a little bit.

[Riyko]

I'm currently in a LDR, but this is after i've been CD with my boyfriend for almost 3 years (we've been together for 3 years as of June). Here is the background of my relationship (I'm from the U.S and he's from Chile) we met up in Canada at the college we went to and since we've both graduated I came back home to the states so I can work while he gets perm residence in Canada, but during this time I'm going to be in Chile for around a year studying spanish and getting to know his family.

It's really hard because we went from seeing each other everyday to seeing each other for two weeks every other month, as well as things are changing with me going to Chile, I won't be able to talk to him much because when I won't be doing homework/going to school I will be helping his family out and then teaching his youngest brother english. After the year of being in Chile is up we will be moving in together, but until then it isn't easy and won't be easy.

When he comes back from Italy things will be different for both of you, he will have to readjust to how things in Canada are done and it won't be easy. To be honest it could wind up breaking you guys up. Fighting is the same both online and in person the only difference is when your online you can just get offline where as in person it's harder to get out of the situation. Fighting will seem like it's easier to do online because of the distance.

[DarkLatino24]

Long distance relationships to me can be both hard and easy. so far i have failed.. Cannot find the one. just recent i got dumped cause my long distance ex family and friends advice her to leave me cause they thought i was some kind of killer or somthin bad (lol) shes 21, and im 26.and they also took away her gaming conosle, laptop, and cell basiclly everything to keep her away from me. then i guess she got weak and was pushed to the corner by her family and friends and made her leave me and found another guy in her area. At first it was great i thought she was the one. we had plans to meet and stuff.. but u see i take it slooow. been wit her for 9 months, and i was planning on meeting her in November..but she lefted me before that obviously. Everthing would of been great if her parents and family supported her. and not judge someone that they dont even know. just because i live far dont mean im a bad person. and my ex knew that i was a good man and all.. just that her ppl just brain washed her or watver u call it to leave me.. and she cried when she lefted me, casue i knew she knew she messed up..and im a honest.committed.faithful.funny.down to earth.non drinker.non smoker. guy..but she didnt love me... if she really loved me like i loved her she would of fought and stick it out, love takes time.. never rush love... so i guess she wasnt the one.. and i had a feeling she was. now im back to square one. ugh.. now the reason why its easier for me to find a girl online.cause there u can talk to them and chat.. plus if they are gamers like me its even better. in real life its hard for me. casue they think that im a perv or a thristy just want to get down and thats all.. i dont go up to them like "hey ma wats good?" thats stupid i respect woman. u see i want a real woman.. its hard to find a real woman.. any guy can find a girl(cheaters,H**es,players etc) and vise versa. if i was a playa playa i can have TONS OF GIRLS. but im not.. so that being said.. Online or Long distance is kinda easier to find.. but hard to maintain.. only true love can fix all that..

[VincenzoG91]

Online long-distance relationships are easier if you are extremely shy, afraid of commitment, a cheater, or just not ready for a serious relationship due to some other reason. Otherwise, online LDRs are fairly worthless, especially if the two people haven't even met in person yet.

[purplerain2010]

I wish to believe I am in one and I have learned from this experience that if you are dating someone online and distant from you, don't drag the relationship too long before meeting each other. Especially when you have already developed feelings for one another even before meeting. Nothing beats spending time together for real and getting fully acquainted with your prospective partner. Either one of you need to make the effort to meet and spend time together. I did because I couldn't continue having feelings for someone whom i have not even met and when we did meet, he knew I liked him very much by just looking at my eyes. I was not sure about him but he later admitted that he was attracted to me too. But LDR is just not easy. You have to be detached and if you never get to meet the person after 6 months of dating online, and you are not 100% sure where it is heading, I would advise you to keep your options open and meet real people as well.

[DarkLatino24]

I wish to believe I am in one and I have learned from this experience that if you are dating someone online and distant from you, don't drag the relationship too long before meeting each other. Especially when you have already developed feelings for one another even before meeting. Nothing beats spending time together for real and getting fully acquainted with your prospective partner. Either one of you need to make the effort to meet and spend time together. I did because I couldn't continue having feelings for someone whom i have not even met and when we did meet, he knew I liked him very much by just looking at my eyes. I was not sure about him but he later admitted that he was attracted to me too. But LDR is just not easy. You have to be detached and if you never get to meet the person after 6 months of dating online, and you are not 100% sure where it is heading, I would advise you to keep your options open and meet real people as well.

hey purple, ur right about that. sometimes it depends to as far as affording a trip if its state to state. but yea after about5 or 6 months ppl should meet ya kno? but thanks i kno now not to drag it too long. and even if i do meet offline or online gotta take it sloooow. but not too sloow. but im open person.. watever floats each other boats it floats can never be close minded. like some of these ppl on here, they are super closed. i guess thats what broke me and my ex up.. but i put a effort to meeting wit her... but shes weak and let ppl tell her who to love and not to love. ya kno ? THANks purple.. a good person like u should be around me more often..

[xxazurexx]

hey purple, ur right about that. sometimes it depends to as far as affording a trip if its state to state. but yea after about5 or 6 months ppl should meet ya kno? but thanks i kno now not to drag it too long. and even if i do meet offline or online gotta take it sloooow. but not too sloow. but im open person.. watever floats each other boats it floats can never be close minded. like some of these ppl on here, they are super closed. i guess thats what broke me and my ex up.. but i put a effort to meeting wit her... but shes weak and let ppl tell her who to love and not to love. ya kno ? THANks purple.. a good person like u should be around me more often..

^^I think that you would find, that people here are NOT closed minded, but more tend to be 'realists' who are also blessed with something known as COMMON SENSE.