boyfriend not calling?

[lilxcutie53]

Girls...What do you all do when your boyfriend says he will call you and then doesnt?

when my bf and I first starting dating, he would say he would call and then wouldnt atleast once a week. It would be at times when i'd be over at this house during the day and then id leave and he would say he would call me later and then wouldnt. I never didnt anything..i would just let it go and then the next day not pick up the phone the 1st time he would call...

but now things are better and he only does it once every 1-2 months. and when that first started happening, I would call him back and say "why didnt you call me?" listen to his story and then say "well i just wanted to let you know that is disrespectful" and then it would be silent and hed say something and then id get off the phone. but after doing that twice I dont really wanna do it anymore..

So what would u all do if u were in my situation...

[pinkinterlude]

I'm assuming you are in a LDR?

I would act like it doesn't bother me. If he wants to talk to you, he knows where you are. He's proabably loving the fact that it bothers you, because it shows him how much you care.

I can understand your point of view though, I would feel a little frustrated because he's your boyfriend, and you want to feel more involved. But if you have already brought this up with him and things have remained the same, there is not much more you can do. You can't force him to call you more. Maybe he likes to have space in a relationship, or has had that in previous relationships, and maybe you are used to doing more things together. It just seems to be a conflict of definition.

Either have one last talk with him, expressing what you want from the relationship, and your expectations about how you believe it should be, or just make less effort to contact him. Maybe that'll help him realise how much he does like you, and will make him think he could be losing you, which might make him want to make more of an effort.

[lilxcutie53]

oh no we are not in a long distance relationship..he actually lives 5 minutes from me..

When we first started going out he did it alot, and I wouldnt do anything...i'd actually not pick up the phone the next day he didnt call. and twice I actually did it back.. The only problem was that my two other roommates were dating his roommates, so whenever they saw me upset im suuuure they told him and they knew that sometimes I wouldnt pick up the phone..so he thinks that sometimes I dont pick up the phone on purpose and that I play mind games with him..so its tough..
then a couple months after that we got into this huuuuuuge fight and I told him I needed a few days to chill out and stuff, and after that point he started calling me...it was normal..he actually sat down and talked to me about how sometimes it bothered him that I didnt pick up the phone all the time (and hes talking about times where i dont see his phone call..im in class, or at the mall and dont hear it) so after that point I made sure that I picked up my phone unless he did something stupid and I had a reason to not answer the phone, such as now him not calling me when he says he will.
from January-May he only did it twice and did it again in the middle of June and then last night. The two times from Jan-May I would call him back and say that it was disrespectful and I wouldnt really allow him to explain his story..cuz i knew he was making up it up. so I would say what i would have to say and get off the phone. Then in June I just let it go again and just showed that I didnt care. and thats what I am going to do today...

[girl68]

Um 2 times in 5 months? Umm anal and insecure much? Geeze, let it go.

[lilxcutie53]

I mean I talked to him yesterday morning when he said he would call me...and today at 8 was the first time he reached out to me since I left his house..of course I didnt answer, I'm not contimplating what I should say to him when I do call him back. I dont want to see him tonight, but I dont want to make it seem like im at home bored out of my mind either

[Charisma]

I thought I worried about calling!

In fact, with my last ex we used to text a lot. But because sometimes his phone was messed up he wouldn't recieve texts til like an hour later/vice versa. So I would call him at night when I reckoned he'd be going to bed(9pm). And I made that a habit. Yes, it was clingy and I had no life, but I wanted our communication to improve(it didn't).

In the end I'd think of things to say, call him, and he'd manage to make the call 2 mins long without letting me discuss anything or him saying much. Thank god he's an ex, he was such a selfish, ungrateful git. Because I worked thro the week I didn't get to see him til 2 days at the weekend, and sometimes that wouldn't be for 3 weeks. So I wanted more time *talking* to him.

But I also realised I shouldn't have gave a damn if he called or not. I had plenty of things I could have done instead to take my mind of it.

I'm actually jealous that your bf cares if you answer your phone when he calls! It does seem silly for you to get angry at him for not calling when he says he will too, just because it might slip his mind. Especially if you live 5 mins away and see each other a lot.