Help Me Please!

[minorflag88]

I cant stand it anymore. I'm so amdly in love with a girl who doesn't feel the same way.


We were friends for awhile and then one day we finally hooked up. After that I havn't been the same. It was a no strings attached type of thing and I thought I could handle it. I was very wrong.

A couple weeks later I heard she was starting to like this other guy who I don't know. And I don't want to know. I'm afraid of what I might do if I knew.

But anyways...I heard about it in school and that very second I ran outside and walked. Just walked and screamed. I was so alone and lost and wondering what to do. No one was there for me and I thought before then, when I was ontop of the world and in love. The good type of love. The type you want to have.

God I'm leaving soon for military school which just complicates this more because now she tells me she would have dated me if it werent for the fact I was leaving soon. She started to like me a lot then stopped herself. Which is smart.

I stopped talking to her since monday and its now saturday. All day at school I have been ignoring her because I'm afraid if we talk in person im going to cry or sumthing stupid like that.

I talked to her today and were frends again but its still destroying me, eating me alive. I'm sitting here with alcohol to escape this problem but I realize that its just gonna hit me again when I wake up. It's just that I needed a break tonite. Just one night.

I'm going to go insane and I really hope someone can help me. Whether it's a story of something you went through thats similar and you are okay now, or some helpfull advice or sympathy.

I'm so lost and I can't function normally. When ever I think of her with another guy I get this wave of pain, UHG. You know the feeling.

I cant laugh, smile, or have fun. I'm in a constanmt depressed mode.

help.

[Junket]

How old are you dude?

[minorflag88]

How old are you dude?

I'm only 16. I don't think that should have anything to do with my problem.

[Colleen]

Sweetie, are you still on line?

[Colleen]

I am writing a reply but I am long winded and it will take awhile. You sound like you need someone and I want to try.

[mymindkillsme]

I'm so sorry to hear this.. I'm a cuddler and a very emotional person and when I read your post, my heart went out to you. Tis a sad thing to feel that love and not get it in return. You can't make anyone love you back, which sucks. I wish I could help you but I just don't know how, and the words for a situation like this are impossible to find. I agree with you about not wanting to know.. personally, it would tear at my heart and I too, would be scared of what I might do.. to myself. What did you mean by that? Did you mean you would physically harm someone? Him, or yourself?

I'm so sorry you had to deal with this alone.. but I think we all have. We all have had relationships ((or flings)) turn out sour. We thought we could handle it, but found oursevles way too attached then we had planned on. That's the one thing about love.. it can be so beautiful and perfect.. make you feel like you are, as you said, 'on top of the world'.. then it can so bluntly drop you on the cold ground without a care.

I don't understand why it's smart of her to have stopped liking you? This is not your fault, at all. It is not your fault you are leaving soon, or that you two didn't date. Neither of you are interested in long distance dating? Not everyone can handle such a thing, but it is something to think about. Just becuz you are doing something you have to do, does not mean thats it.. no more. If you love her, and she loves you, then why not be together by any means necessary? I understand that it may not be a possibility, sometimes it's harder being apart like that then together in the first place.

Awww.. *hugz* Crying is not stupid. Nor does it make you look, or sound stupid. Well, not to me, and I'm sure not to her either. I know guys ((men)) try to act tough, and yes, that's what they have made out to be like. Tough, protective, security.. things like that. But everyone cries. Everyone gets hurt, and everyone feels things they wish they didn't. Crying does not make you less of a person. I would be flattered if I knew a guy cried over me like that.. just shows you care. Not many guys do ya know.

Ignoring her maybe wasn't the best thing.. and alcohol certainly was not a very good choice. I'm not going to lecture you, but I hope you make better decisions. Everyone needs a break, and you are entitled to that. After all, this is your life, with your choices. I don't say I blame you.. I have done bad things as well when I'm in a situation I don't want to be in. But I hope you know drinking is never the answer to any problem.

Like I said, I don't know how to help you. I can only talk to you, maybe get you to see another side of what's going on, but you are the one whose going to have to make a stand and get the help you want. I understand the insane feeling.. believe me, I feel like that often.

I don't want to give you my sympathy, becuz you don't seem like you need it. You might say you want or need it, but you are a bigger person then that. I don't know you, but I have read you. I have read what you have wrote and it touched me. Obvisously I care, becuz I am taking the time to respond. So, I don't pity you, nor am sympathic. But I do care. And I do know that feeling.. thinking of the one you want so much, with someone else who is not you. Oh yes.. I think we all have experienced that. No matter what age.

I guess my advice is this: Things will get better if you let them. I know it sounds like utter shit.. I have been told the same thing and I laughed. Laughed becuz, what the hell did they know? Was it their heart in desperate pain? No. It was mine. I did not need someone else telling me how *my* life would get better. But honestly, it will if you let it. Time will heal your wound. Either things between you and this girl will get better, or you will both move on to different people. Of course I hope you and this girl, make it in the long run. But be prepared for anything.. you never know.

I agree, your age should have no effect on your problem. However, you are young ((as I am)) and when you are young, it's so easy to be this hurt.. but it's also easy to find someone else to help heal your pain.

I don't want to offend you and say you and your dream girl will never be together, I'm not saying that at all. Just give it time.. if you ever want to talk, I may not have the answers, and I may not have the best advice but I promise to listen. You can PM me if you ever need anything.

Sorry this was so long.. lol told you I was touched.

[Colleen]

You are probably in bed or passed out (which is okay, too, but hunny, alcohol won't solve the world's ills. If it could I'd be ruling the world and married to Antonio Bandaras - lol!)

Sixteen is a really sucky age to be. You aren't quite in control of your life but you feel more adult impulses than childlike ones. But we are all children, probably until we die. I am not insulting you at all. I just mean you should not feel you are a bad person or a failure because this romance tanks. I'm an old gal, far, faaaar older than thee, but at 16 I was dating older dudes outa high school and they broke my heart and at the time it felt like the end of the world. Then I had so many other live or die relationships. The last I was very much an adult, it lasted three years, was long distance so I had no tangible control, then he dumped me out of the blue, for reasons I had no control over. So no matter what age we all face those shitty breaks which are NOT our faults but basically just the whim of someone else.

But hey, listen, I have dated SO much since then and it has been fun, really fun! Please don't make some stupid destructive choice based on THIS love affair. You have a lifetime of great loves ahead. Trust me.

Why are you going to military school? Did ya get into some trouble? Take some time to get on track. Chat with folks online. Read. Write short stories or poems. You seem passionate. Channel it somewhere other than destruction. I had to!

You can also email me if you want. [email]luckycolleen37@hotmail.com[/email]. I am about to take a trip out of town (next week) but I will answer as much as I can till then. Just DON'T do anything stupid! No one is worth that!!!

Colleen

[Junket]

Under age drinking...tsk tsk.

[minorflag88]

Thanks everyone. I found out who the guy was, and I don't know who he is so it doesn't make much of a differance. She's so happy with him. I think she's in love with him. Which just makes me hurt so much more. I realize that drinking wouldn't solve my problems but I only did it last night. I needed just a break from all this pain. And it really does help. Although, now, I'm feeing the pain again.

I just wish I could go back in time and never meet her. Or go back in time and never kiss her or something like that. Or maybe I would go back in time and get better grades so I wouldn't be sent off to military school and we could be together. Countless times I find myself wondering what I would do if I could just go back. Too bad I'll never go back.

Now I feel since I've made such a big deal about this with her that we'll never get back together. And God. I feel like knifes are being stabbed into my heart repeatedly. Over and over again.

Why time? isn't there something else I can do? I've thoguht about seeing other girls since there's a few I know I could turn to right now. But I tried that already, and right when were about to kiss I imagine (the girl I'm in love with by the way is Christine) Christine kissing some other guy and B begin to feel pain. Everything I look at reminds me of her and the fun we had.

I talked it over again with her and we agreed to stay friends, but I can't see myself actually committing to something like that after whats all happened. She doesnt know I love her, either.

My screen name on AIM is minorflag88, I could use someone to talk to.

[Sami09]

do you have yahoo messsager if so whats your name i could give you some advice