please help (i like a guy who is about to get married but still denies it)

[BLONDYwthBRAINS]

i am a girl and i am 23 years old the guy i am talking about is 25 years old

i know this is a lot to read but please please please i need advice...

so i met this guy at a party and he seemed like he was really into me...he didnt leave my side once and his attention was on me the whole time..he even told me all these things like, u dont have to worry about anything anymore, ur gna be happy, he kept telling me how much he really likes me and at the end of the night he wouldn't let me go home and he didn't let me leave until i rote my number down on something cuz his phone was dead...i had told him u give me urs and ill call u and he was like no im going to take urs down...

and im the type that doesnt get fooled by guys i never trust any of them...but this one was just different...anyways so i really liked him a lot...and we hung out after the party...and a week later went to palm springs together...at the club i wasnt feeling to good so he stayed by me i think cuz i was dehydrated cuz i took E but he had no idea but i was feeling really good inside and my head lol...so i was telling him how i was feeling and how happy i was etc...and he took it on him self thinking im telling him how i feel about him...and he was interested in knowing...but i didnt want him to think i was talking about him so i changed the subject cuz i was really talking about how the E was making me feel...cuz it was the best feeling anyways...

the next day we were hanging out by the pool and he asked me about the things i was saying to him at the club he wanted to know what it meant...so i told him it was just the feeling i had from the alcohol...and then he kissed me and he stopped and asked me what do u think about when u kiss me? and i didnt know what to say cuz i mean i only knew him for a week i mean i liked him but i didnt have anything to say to him so i told him i dont like to think...and that night we were alone so we ended up sleeping together...

the next day we came bak home...he didnt call me till later on that night and i had left my shoes in his friends car so he asked if i would wana meet up and pik up my shoes so i met up with him and we were having a conversation and he asked me about the night we slept together and asked me what i thought about what happened...and i was like well it happened to soon blah blah blah..and he also asked me after... "where do u see us going in the future?" and my answer was time will tel all of that...and he kissed me after and then we left...and that night we were on the phone talking he was asking me to go to portland with him...and i was like wel see i dont know...and he asked me again a couple times after that and i finally said okay ill come with u...but we never went...

he started getting fishy to me...so i started accusing him of being engaged...he denied it...we went out a few more times after that...he called me everyday for like a week after we came back from palm springs...i would call him to but not as much...he would tell me hes working really late but i think it was all a lie cuz hes his own boss...

4 days after palm springs he stopped calling me and i stopped calling him then on his birthday which was like a weeks after palm springs he texted me saying u forgot about me...so then he called and we talked on the phone for a couple hours and he was asking me why i wasnt calling him blah blah blah...but then i saw pictures of his engagement and after that i really stopped calling him...but he still denied being engaged...we went out a couple times after that to and he whistled i love you to me...and he kept whistling it and asking me what hes saying... he was like "what am i saying? whistle whistle whistle"...i mean it was obvious what he was saying but i looked at him and i said i dont speak whistle language...and he just stopped...i didnt understand any of that...

one time we were all hanging out my friends and his friends and he came later on and joined us and i wasnt paying any attention to him at all and he was trying to get my attention the whole time...he got mad at me cuz i was having a good time dancing with our friends...hes called me a few times after that asking me why i never call him and i told him cuz ur engaged and theres no point but he still denies being engaged or anything but i know 100% now and his friends have also told me but he still denies it for some reason...and every time iv ever brought it up he always seems to get stressed out to talk about it...but he tries really hard to convince me that hes not when ever i bring it up...

its been like a week from the last time he called me...and i really like him and its bothering me cuz he obviously doesn't care...but i need advise... please every advice helps...i mean i know its wrong cuz hes taken...but maybe hes not happy? from everything i'v heard i feel like maybe hes being forced into getting married but then again everything i have heard could be all lies...but i dont know i just want a guys point of view

please help,

thanks

[returnofthezro]

paragraphs, for ****s sake, paragraphs

i dont know what kind of answer you are expecting, if he is engaged, then it seems like you are trying to do the right thing, i think you said you saw pictures (if that garbage was easier to read maybe i would have understood half of it), that pretty much answers your question, why are you still maintaining contact? if you are hoping to change his mind, its wrong and you should stay away - and it seems like you know it

[Gigabitch]

Okay, I had to break that up into some semblance of paragraphs. I couldn't face it this early in the morning.

Blondy, you have all the evidence you need to conclude that his guy is a liar, a prick, a cheater, a player and a butt munch. If you haven't decided to stay away from him, you must be a self-destructive person. If you're a self-destructive person, nothing anyone says to you will help. We couldn't possible be more convincing that he, himself has been.

[hello1]

Back off bitch!

[BLONDYwthBRAINS]

Thanks for the advice everyone sorry for the confusing paragraph I will be more clear next time....

I don't keep contact with him...if anything, the only time we do talk is if he calls me. And when he does I always bring up his fiancé to make him feel stupid about calling me...and every time he's showed up to any of the hang outs we had with our friends I don't pay attention to him...(I don't ever invite him anywhere, his friends always invite him)

[Gigabitch]

Tell him you're going to go to his fiancee the next time he tries to contact you. Watch him turn pale and start sweating.

[BLONDYwthBRAINS]

I've tried similar things but hadn't thought of that....(Good idea) he has a facebook and the profile picture is a picture with his fiancé but when I saw that picture and confronted him about it he told me that he is legally married so he can get a green card because he isn't in the US "legally" and the lawyer had told him it would be good to have a facebook with their picture. I believed him in the beginning also because every night he would talk to me on the phone (him and his brother share a room together) his brother would complain about being bothered. But as time goes by the truth always comes out...I would have forgot about him a long time ago it's just that I really liked him and was hoping MAYBE he's telling the truth...but now I'm convinced he's just another a**Hole...

I'm against guys that cheat...and I would never want something like this to happen to me so I would never (no matter how much I like a guy) be the problem of another relationship....

[girl68]

USE YOUR BRAINS- he is so full of shit, I smell him all the way through the computer. Honestly.

[bluesummer]

I agree with girl68, I smelled a rat IMMEDIATELY.

First of all, he won't give you his number, but he'll take yours. ON PAPER ONLY. That should've been a huge red flag.

Secondly, you did some pretty silly things on your own end. Going away with him to Palm Springs when you barely know him, nevermind going on drugs and then sleeping with him. Bad decisions all around.

Third, he started asking about what you see in the future with him after a week? Really? That's just scary.

Lastly......if you know or even suspect he's engaged, you should be running like hell. Why would you even CONSIDER being with a guy who'd be willing to cheat on his fiancee?!? It's shows he's a scumbag. Who cares if he's happy with her or not.

[BLONDYwthBRAINS]

bluesummer, he took my number thinking i wouldn't call him if he gave me his which i wouldnt have because i never call anyone...plus he called me that same night when he was home from the party...

i went to palm springs with my friends...we had separate rooms we just ended up staying together the last night...and i know it was stupid but it happened...AND to make things clear to you...i would NEVER considerbeing with someone that wanted to cheat on their girlfriend, fianc�, or wife...he's just been denying the fact that he even has a girlfriend and i was thinking maybe theres a reason and maybe theyre just not in good terms...because the whole time in palm springs he didnt talk on his phone once with anyone besides one of his clients which was on Bluetooth in the car...and i heard the whole conversation...

also...as soon as i found out for sure that hes engaged i completely stopped paying any attention to him...i'm not the type of person who is okay with things like that...i am very much against it...

but pretty much he is a scumbag and i should have known...and i would have if i didnt like him so much...but i'm done with him...

[hurt_confuzd]

Something about this thread tells me you're a "blondy" without any brains.

[LailaK]

You're going the right direction by limiting contact. I think you need to cut contact all together.

He's a dog. If he cheated on his fiancé with you he will eventually cheat on you too. Move on. Stop talking to him all together. That means, don't pick up his phone calls and engage in conversation.

[NBT]

Here is what your problem is:

You know he's engaged BUT, you rationalize it AWAY.

"Maybe he's not happy."
"Maybe his friends are lying."
"Maybe he's being forced into it."

Now, when he was trying to get your ATTENTION that whole time, you easily blew him off.

You said "No way. You're engaged. I saw the pics. I know you're a liar" etc.

But as soon as he STOPS giving you attention, NOW all of a sudden you wanna give him the benefit of the DOUBT.

That's a sign of IMMATURITY, Blondy. Plain and simple.

Stop playing games.

It's either:

A) "He's engaged, and a LIAR, so I'm gonna leave him alone."
B) "He's engaged, but I LIKE him, so I'll keep messing with him."
C) "I'll believe whatever he says and do whatever he wants."

Which one is it gonna be?