I met a girl, she was nice... BUT...

[upular]

I have an unusual problem. I've known this girl for a while now, she lives a few streets away from me, and her brother is an old classmate of mine. I used to see her around from time to time, she's even on my facebook, but we never really talked properly until a few weeks ago. On that ocassion I really felt that her and I got on well, exchanged good eye contact, and seemed to relate very well to each other. The problem is, I'm unlikely to see her again for a long time, if ever. Yes, she lives nearby, but we're extremely unlikely to be bump into eachother like that again, and her Brother and I aren't classmates anymore. We just don't run in the same circles.

But here's the thing, I'm not interested in her romantically; I actually would just love to be her friend, as she seems like a really nice, down to earth girl. But I don't know how? Could I sent her a message on Facebook? If so, what would I say? It would seem very odd and out of the blue since I never really spoke to her before, and I don't want to come across creepy, or give her the wrong idea. I genuinely just want to get to know her platonically.

However I fear she will think I want to date her by the mere fact that I am approaching her so randomly. How do you become friends with someone who has been an acquaintance for a long time, especially someone of the opposite sex? And what approach could I take in a facebook message?

Many thanks.

[xxazurexx]

Don't you have any guy friends?

Just tell her that you came across her pic and recognised her as being someone who lives close by.

Maybe she will think there is a reason you added her, but if you don't bombard her with messages then she will soon be thinking differently.

[upular]

I do have guy friends.

And we already added eachother ages ago. Actually, she added me. So we already know each other. I thought I explained it well in my original post

[xxazurexx]

OK, sorry I'm half asleep, it is midnight nearly.

All the better then...just get involved in her status updates, comment and such and be a friend on there.

Communication opens up the door to friendship...is that so hard to figure out?

[upular]

It's ok, didn't mean to be rude.

Sorry to be awkward though, but she never makes status updates - only replies to wall posts made by friends.

I think therefore a private message is my best bet. Problem is i've no idea what I could possibly say that wouldn't come across totally out of place and weird.

[Mish]

Did you talk about something interesting that one time you connected? Maybe you can send her a message talking about that. Or even "hi, haven't spoken to you for a bit, what have you been up to?" can be a good start.

[Twoface]

Call me crazy but I dont think you should engage the conversation through facebook. Look, there are a lot of jeepers creepers on facebook and if she even thinks your a creep then she won't even consider being your friend. But you said you guys knew each other before...So in this case, find out what she likes. She lives so close to you, she must have friends that you know. If you know any of them, contact them and tell them your interest. Most girls if they are supportive and actually good friends, will comply and let you in on her life. They may even hint to her that you are taking interest and she won't think your a creep on facebook.

Once she does see that your not a creep and you want to be her friend, which you should initially tell her, she'll open up and you guys can chat on facebook. This will make it easier for you guys to get along and become friends. Then she'll give you her number, and you can text her....and who knows, maybe you'll find out you really like her more than a friend, and maybe she realizes it too...hey, its not impossible.

My suggestion would be to not "try" randomly bumping into her but make an effort to seem like it was random.If she finds out you were trying to run into her, she may take it in a good way. Does she like sports? Does she play on a team? Go to one of her games and root for her. Does she go to a coffee house? Go there and sit next to her and spark a conversation. And if she is constantly around her friends and you seem like you cant get in and even talk to her, find a friend of one of her friends to get you in. It seems tough but it can be done with all this communicative technology we have today.

hope this helped! Good luck!

[xxazurexx]

I don't think she would think he was a 'creep'. It's not like he is some random stranger talking to her. He has chatted to her before, was friends with her brother in the past and she only lives a few streets away. If some guy in my neighbourhood talked to me, I'd just think he was talking and because he was wanting to chat to a familiar face.

[TheTooya]

You could send her a message and see if she wants to do something (and put, 100% platonic). With facebook... its really easy to give the impression that you are a creeper :/

[upular]

Yeah. That's really my problem. Although we kind of know each other, have seen eachother around, and talked that once, she doesn't really know me. There's no precedent or context for us talking, you know? I discovered on her facebook she lists where she works, and it's a general store close to me. I was thinking of calling from time to time, maybe stumble upon her and have a brief conversation? Set the foundations for a Facebook message?