Dont know what to do ???

[Sarah Jane]

Ive been in a relationship for nearly 2 years with a guy who's 2 years younger then me. Its been very rocky the last few months because his 2 grandfathers died. He started going out every weekend and drinking a lot. About 6 weeks ago he went out and got completely hammered drunk and cheated on me. According to him this girl kept coming up to him all nite in the club and wouldn't take no for an answer. she then followed him into the bathroom of a restaurant and that's where it happened.

He told me the next day because he couldn't lie to me. He was so remorseful and hated himself for what happened. I tried to block it out but i couldn't take it because he said he couldn't get over what happened so i broke up with him. It was the hardest thing ive ever had to do, but after a short break he begged me to take him back and i did.

I forgive him for what happened but how do i get over the jealously and fear that he'll do it again. I love him and i know how hard the last few months have been because i was there. i feel like i can't trust him anymore.What should i do ???

Thanks for reading this, your advice is appreciated.

[xxazurexx]

Honestly.

He says that this girl wouldn't take 'no' for an answer? Has this guy not got a mind of his own or something, or able to control himself? If she had told him to stick his head in a gas oven, or jump off a cliff, he would've done that also, would he? I'm thinking, NOT. He cheated on you and because he made the choice himself and to cheat on you. Nobody else can force us to do anything we don't want too and if someone forces themselves on you, it's classed as 'rape'. My guess is, is that he told you and before you heard it from someone else.

I'm unsure why you went back to him. Who is to say that another female won't 'force' herself on him (as he put it) and of course.....he will give in easily.

I wouldn't have a man thrown at me who would succomb 'that' easily to temptation,...what a weak, weak man he must be and a weak man isn't the kind you want.

[IncognitoSir]

Most people are unable to completly forgive and move on after someone cheat. Did you REALLY forgive him? Clearly he hasn't forgiven himself so I don't see how you guys could move on. The relationship was rocky already then he cheated.....Honestly though, once you cheat you can hit the streets. No excuse for cheating, not even hammered drunk which seems to be the number one excuse for all cheaters.

[Vain]

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Same old statement but it bears so much truth. You can never really fully trust him again. I agree with the other posts 100%.

[TheTooya]

Drop the guy, he isn't worth it. You deserver better.... :/

[alovehangoverr]

... I get that he's going through a hard time, and for that, I can sympathize.. however.. that is NO WAY excuses his behavior.

You said he started going out every weekend and drinking. If he felt he couldn't control himself, it seems as though he had numerous chances to get his act together so something like this wouldn't happen. And him saying this girl wouldn't take "no" for an answer... really? I find that to be utter bullshit. He makes it sound like this girl followed him into the bathroom & raped him. I doubt that's what happened. He probably flirted with her & potentially initiated things & then hooked up with her in a bathroom. It's called "blameshifting" -- it's easier for a person to say they "had no control" than to admit that they put themselves in that situation & then made a mistake.

I personally hate guys who pull that bullshit. It's not the girls fault-- she didn't have a responsibility to you, but your boyfriend did. He broke that, not this girl.

As for what you can do.. there's not much. Give it time.. either you forgive him & move on from it.. or you don't. But to be realistic with you-- most people can't get past it. And you really shouldn't have to. There are PLENTY of guys out there who won't put you through this. Who won't make you insecure & question every move they make.. because that will make you crazy (and I'm speaking from experience here). I moved on from a cheating partner & am now in a relationship where I feel completely secure & stable. I don't have to question what he's doing, who he's doing it with, or anything like that.. and it's SO MUCH BETTER.

[Gigabitch]

You shouldn't have taken him back. Now when this happens again, you won't get any sympathy because you should know better then to trust a cheater.

[Teddy057]

Please don't tell me you are so naive you believed the whole "She wouldn't take no for an answer". I'm sure he got one hell of a thrill out of it. He cheated on you, you were dumb enough to take him back. People die, it's part of life. That's no excuse for acting shitty towards the ones you love.

After someone has cheated on you, that deep trust you have towards them is gone forever. It can't be renewed, because in the back of your mind you will always be wondering... Is he telling the truth?

End it, and maybe try again in a couple years if you haven't found anyone that matches what you two had. Better to build a new relationship then to keep putting yourself through this emotional stress.