i cheated and now i need to do everything to keep her

[300magnum]

so about 2months ago my girlfriend was going through my phone and notice a text from my ex saying to "come over" and i responded "OK". it was nothing more the sex that one time. things hit the fan for that first month and we have been working on things since and i thought they things were going good until today, shes telling me my efforts are not enough. Ive tried everything in my power to show her I'm not out messing around with my ex or any other girl. she has the gps to my car and phone, user name and password to everything, i also bought her a laptop she she can skype me to my phone and video chat with me so she can see who in with and where I'm at. i gave up my nightlife and even hagging out with my friends for my girl. she can go though anything she wants just so she can have piece of mind and know I'm hers. i see any post on here about it only working if both of us do are part in working this out and i really feel she is, but obviously I'm not in some way, she was saying that i need to be more romantic and show her that side of me. but i know where to start being romantic cause i never really see it growing up. so what Ive done so far is just about all the romance that i know. what can i do to show her i want her in my life forever? what can i do to give the woman 100X the effort of romance that shes give in me? she really really deserves it

[SirWagginston]

If she matters so much to you, why did you cheat on her? Because you thought you could get away with it?

[QueenofCorona]

Whatever you guys have going currently, hope you like it and plan on getting use to her being on your ass 24/7. If she's dumb enough to stick with you then I suppose you deserve this. Ideally to cause to both less headache and stress why don't you just chalk it up to a loss and you be single a while since you can't seem to be faithful and she finds someone she can trust. Seems eaiser than the current situation.

[300magnum]

i feel i did it cause the opertunity was just there. i know it was a huge mistake

[300magnum]

Whatever you guys have going currently, hope you like it and plan on getting use to her being on your ass 24/7. If she's dumb enough to stick with you then I suppose you deserve this. Ideally to cause to both less headache and stress why don't you just chalk it up to a loss and you be single a while since you can't seem to be faithful and she finds someone she can trust. Seems eaiser than the current situation.

it would be easier to throw in the towel but i know now in my heart shes the one, she can be on my ass all she wants, whatever it takes, ill do it

[SirWagginston]

So you didn't think she was the one BEFORE you cheated on her?

[300magnum]

So you didn't think she was the one BEFORE you cheated on her?

yeah i did i just wasnt thinking with my head

[SirWagginston]

Then what's the stop you from thinking with your penis, again? Only the fact that your girlfriend has taken measures to prevent you from being able to get away with it, I think. That's what your girlfriend has realized, and why she is still paranoid even though she can see what you're doing.

[lahnnabell]

She will never let up on you. Understand that if you want to keep her, you'll be dealing with this for years. Possibly for the rest of your life.

[cmacattack1]

Is this how relationships are supposed to be? Proving yourself to be unreliable and then doing everything possible to try and give them peace of mind once you shattered their trust? Sounds like more trouble than it's worth. And it's not a good sign that you are making all the efforts to prove to her you aren't, and she is still not happy (and maybe you aren't trying to be romantic enough?). That's a brutal thing to lose early on and it's not always possible to get it back. You may think you are on the right path, and maybe you are, but are you going to harbor so much resentment if things still don't work out? I gotta tell you, that distrust is just pissing you off more and more the more she isn't happy. One of you will reach a breaking point and it will be ugly.

Is this a real relationship, or is it more of a charade? I just feel like real relationships are proper because you do enough to keep her happy while keeping your own identity as an individual. Not giving up things you want to do because you have to prove something to somebody else. Maybe you do want to turn things around and make things for the better, but if you aren't doing it for the right reasons, if you aren't doing things because you want to, this thing is going to crumble. Even then it's not guarenteed.

So your heart's in it and you want to give it 100 percent. Do that. Maintain your own space at the same time and don't suffocate her. If she'll let you, she could think you are out doing things with other people. You don't want to party and stuff anymore, get involved with some stuff around that is good for you (club sport, working out, etc.). I say this because if you smother her with too much attention, and the fact that she knows you are doing it because you ****ed up, she's going to be turned off by it.

[hello1]

You cheated. She is paranoid and insecure! I bet a part of her is pushing you to the limit, to see if you crack and end it. If you ended it she may be sad but also relieved that its all over and she can move on from you. For both of your sakes, you should end the relationship and learn from your mistakes to never risk love again by just having sex with another person.

[xxazurexx]

You broke her trust, she won't ever fully trust you again and no matter how hard you try to regain it. I've been in her shoes and although I forgave, I never forgot and it's something I'd bring up and everytime we had a disagreement.

She can't forget and she never will. Once the trust is gone, it's the beginning of the end.

[Mathias]

She will never let up on you. Understand that if you want to keep her, you'll be dealing with this for years. Possibly for the rest of your life.

Yup. No way this can be worth it.

[Raze]

You reep what you sew.

[Gigabitch]

So, it looks like she now has limitless credit in the bank of guilt. You've given her carte blanche to demand whatever she wants from you. Right now, you're not romantic enough. What will it be next?

I think the full transparency is a good step in rebuilding trust, but are you sure this is possible? She didn't just bust you texting your ex- you actually ****ed her. I'm not sure you can come back from that. For myself, that would be impossible to forgive.

What this looks like to me is a long, drawn-out punishment that will ultimately result in a breakup anyway, because I can't imagine she could ever trust you again, and without trust, there's no point in trying to pursue a relationship.