Weird Breakup, Completely Heartbroken and Lost, Need Advice Please

[Queens]

Where to begin.....

Ive had a long distance relationship going for about 7 months now, and its been going great. We both loved each other alot and confided in each other, talked all the time every day.

Yesterday, I was chatting with her on MSN, and the convo seemed a bit different than usual. She seemed to be very somber, and she was telling me all of these qualities about me that she loves ( smart, funny, cute, loving, sweet, etc.... ), and at the end she told me "I never want you to forget this conversation", all the while she was saying things like "God I love you so much".

This morning, I wake up, check my email, see one titled "To The Sweetest Guy" from her, open it, and it says this:

"This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I can't talk to you
anymore. I'm not the person you think I am. I shouldn't have let this
go on. I'm so sorry. All the things I told you about yourself were
true and honest. You're an amazing person and I do love you very much.
My heart is breaking and I feel dead inside. I know this is going to
hurt you and I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. I hope someday
you can find it in your heart to forgive me but I'd understand if you
couldn't. You've never been anything to me but perfect. I've always
told you that you'll find some amazing girl someday and be so happy
and this is what I want for you. You're so incredible and so sweet, so
loving and caring. I can't thank you enough for all you've given me.
I'll never be able to watch soccer without thinking of you.
I hope your life will be filled with peace and love. You desrve so
much better and I know you're going to have the life you've always
dreamed of.
I'm so sorry ( name ). You never deserved this and it's completely my
fault. I'm a terrible person and believe me you're better off with out
me.
I'm going to miss you and I'll always love you. Please don't try to
contact me.
Just know that I never got into this to hurt you. I'm sorry. More than
you'll ever know."


Im just completely heartbroken now. and im confused. She said alot of things in this email that just throw me off ( like "im not the person you think i am", "its completely my fault", "Im a terrible person".


I just dont know what to think. I really felt something special with her, she was practically the girl of my dreams, and if she thinks so highly of me, why throw me away?

I really need some advice or input, thank you so much for reading this

[Queens]

Im reading into it more, and this line stood out

"All the things I told you about yourself were true and honest. "

about yourself, meaning that she wasnt truthful about things she told me about herself?

[QueenofCorona]

She's was hiding something from you...probably a man in her life or wasn't completely honest about something else big in her life. The guilt must have got to her or maybe she does this sort of thing to make herself feel better about something lacking in her life, or she was busted by someone. Sorry buddy.

[Queens]

Do you think its worth trying to salvage? Im really torn. In one way, she was very special to me, and i love her, and i dont wanna lose her. On the other hand, I have no idea what she wasnt honest to me about, what she was hiding, anything.

I dont know if i should give it one more shot or just give up. Thanks for reading that btw.

[VincenzoG91]

Sounds like she was hiding something major, like a husband. Or some other guy (or woman), or a drug addiction or some other criminal thing. Maybe she killed a man in Reno just to watch him die. Take her kind words to heart and move on, knowing that you did nothing wrong. Soon enough, you will meet the right woman.

[Queens]

Thanks Vincenzo

Do you think its worth trying to get closure? I wanna know what she was hiding, maybe it was nothing, maybe she was married or killed someone like you said, i dont know. Its like, we had a happy 7 months and then like that, i get told sorry it was a lie? I think i deserve the respect of atleast knowing what was being hid, not just told here it is and leave.

Is it a good idea to try to find out?

[cmacattack1]

You can sit there and wonder, read into every line and try and turn it inside out. If she doesn't want to give you the truth, you aren't going to make heads or tails of it anyway. But no matter what she says, no matter how much you try to salvage this, the fact of the matter is she wants out. She doesn't want to be with you anymore. So what are you trying to salvage? You can't keep this relationship afloat all by yourself. So spin all the possible scenarios that you want to to try and win her back and try and show her how much you care. You can try and make her feel guilty all you want to but it's not going to really help. Sorry if it's not what you want to hear, you have to be logical and reasonable about this. This is what she wants and if you don't respect that, you are in a way being selfish.

So what can you do? Well you can try and put to rest all those ways of winning her back, and just focus on yourself. What is possibly lacking in your life. Besides her obviously, but things that are in your control. You leave her alone, you let her be, you let what ever hold or attachment she has on you fade slowly away. That's all you can do. You will live and survive without her in your life. Everything will be fine, it just takes alot of work, alot of willpower, alot of positivity and the right mentality to get yourself from this rut to move forward in your life.

[(will)]

Sounds like she found a better guy. Relationships are the toughest war.

[Gigabitch]

At least she said goodbye. There are a couple of posters around here lately who are dealing with Radio Silence. Having an answer, even the one you don't want, is better than that.

[drdamian]

well she definitely feels that she not good for you...she feels either guilty of something she did in her past and does not think herself worthy enough to be with you or she has cheated on you or done something that she knows will hurt you when you find out and is already punishing herself for it...

[merdene]

Just let her be man, if she said bye then there's no turning back. You just wait and see, or you can try to get her back. But it will make things worse than it already is. So from my experience just leave it, focus on yourself. If she comes back good for you. If not then too bad.

[ria9919]

I am in love with this man and we had a similar incident. He stopped talking to me all together. I didn't know why. Then I found out that he worked for a company that was making him choose on either staying with me or quitting. He told me that he had until New Years (a couple of weeks away) to decide. We kept on talking past that point. He risked on getting caught to stay with me. He has done the same thing again and now I don't know what we are. I know that he loves me and wants to be with me...he has said that I am still connected to his heart and soul (and not telling me this personally, through other means) but it can't happen right now.

The purpose of me telling you this is that what she felt for you maybe honestly be the truth. And the reason she has to end it maybe something that you would have never though of. You don't know what is going to happen in the future. I know for me I wouldn't be able to be emotionally attached to anyone. I couldn't be in a relationship because it wouldn't be fair to that person. because if the man i love ever came back, I would choose him. My love for him is strong, and that was after I was married for 7 1/2 years and had 4 children with the man I married. You have to figure out if your love for her is strong worth waiting and fighting for.

[TheTooya]

As far as I could tell, it sounds like she cheated on you, or has in the past, and is filled with guilt about it. Either that, or she did something that she finds terribly guility of... gut instinct is telling me cheat, but... hey, who knows.

At least she didn't break things off telling you how much you suck!

[EmilyK]

I know this sounds harsh but did you ever think it possible that "SHE" is actually a "HE" and that's the big secret?

[VincenzoG91]

Emily has a great point. Did you ever meet up in person? Or is this just some hypothetical woman that you were trading emails with?

There was an eye-opening article at MSN recently, "My Online Boyfriend Wasn't Real":

[url=http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=24682702]"My Online Boyfriend Wasn't Real" - MSN Relationships - article[/url]

"Michelle Satterlee, 21, thought she had found her soul mate online. But it all turned out to be a cruel hoax. Learn how she fell prey, and what she learned from the experience."