Crazy in love with crazy girl?

[KennyC]

So theres this girl I've known for 2 years
and we're really good friends
but the thing is i like her a LOT.
and she likes me too,
but she's hesitant to go out with me
she considers me her best friend apparently
and we make out and do other sexual activities
but then she goes clubbing and partying
and makes out with other random guys
and she makes really bad decisions because of her parents
and all the stress shes under
for example she nearly had sex for the first time with 2 random guys
and i feel really bad when she does all this stuff
she regrets everything she does the next day...

i dont know what to do with her.... i really like her
its either its really good with her, or really bad
all i want to do is help her
and i hate seeing her go through all of this
because she gets hurt from a lot of guys she meets at these places
and all my friends are telling me to just give up
and i've tried several times believe me, but i cant, and i dont want to.
I've known her for a long time, and all i want is this nonsense that has been going on for the last 6 months
to stop, because she's going to get hurt really bad one day or get in a very bad situation
and i hate seeing her so depressed and sad
i want to help her....
i want the old her back. i know its there, i think shes just confused with all the things happening in her life right now
what should i do?
what CAN i do?

[qwertz]

Ermmm, sorry but nearly having sex with 2 random guys and making out with others has nothing to do with her parents. We live in a blame culture, people need to start taking responsibility for their own actions, everybody makes mistakes, its what you do about them that counts.

She considers you her best friend, yet is sexually involved with you? You cant be both, either you are her best friend or you are her friend with benefits.

[KennyC]

so what can i really do to stop her from doing this stupidness -.-

[xxazurexx]

^Short of having a talk with her, nothing. You can't control another human being and you shouldn't expect to.

One thing we do have are 'choices'. We don't have to stay in situations we are not happy in.

[girl68]

Have a penis, assert yourself. She makes mistake after mistake and comes crying to you and you comfort her because you like her. When are you going to realize until something changes (and it ain't going to be her) this situation will repeat itself. Best friends do not do sexual stuff, then go out and nearly bone random strangers and then whine about it to the very person they just messed around with. Dude, best friends do NOT do this. Lay down the law. Tell her you're only going to play bf when you are a bf if that doesn't happen bf things stop period. Secondly tell her to stop screwing around with random I mean how many times do you accept someones mistakes? Once, sure- twice okay, 3 times- really? same mistake AGAIN? 4 times? You got to cut that shit out sometimes and she is just too screwed up to know when. And you can't DO anything to make her stop other than a heart to heart and wish her well in changing her own life.

[wxdrumsftw]

Just dump her.

[Cain]

You're her emotional tampon... and she occasionally uses that tampon to pleasure herself.

You have white knight syndrome. Get over it and find someone without all of these problems. Trust me. It's going to affect you both later on if you choose to keep pursuing her.

[KennyC]

Alright, I know I should leave her and just drop her all together but I can't let her screw up and do something she'll really regret for the rest of her life...

[girl68]

Umm yeah you can. She CHOOSES to be a stupid idiot time, and time again making the same mistake over and over again. Most normal folk f**k up once maybe twice then we learn.

[lahnnabell]

It's not about letting her do anything. She's going to do what she wants to do. She whines at you because you give her the time of day. She has no real incentive to change her behavior if you keep enabling her like this. Best bet is to cut her loose and see if she sinks or swims. You're not responsible for this girl's well-being.

[KennyC]

I see.

And when incentives do come up?

Or some really bad consequences?

[girl68]

Dude, you're not supposed to be taking care of her, especially when she doesn't give half a shit about you. Let her realize that she needs to be responsible for her own mistakes. She has made the same one sooo many times, there has a point where you say: " I'm sorry I can't take this it's time for you to grow up" then you walk. Let her grow up. At that point you wash your hands of her mess and let her clean it up. Only when she realizes and cleans up her own life will you be friends with her. Toxic people like her aren't good for weak people like you. Realize what is good for you and what is not. You're the "nice boy" but for her you're poison.

[KennyC]

And I kind of started this shit storm for her >.>

but i realize she's making these decisions by herself

[girl68]

Oh you did? Really? Becasue you first blamed it on her crazy parents.

[KennyC]

Yea i told her all of this stuff was okay and how it was just going to be a two or three month phase...
i thought she would come to her senses sooner or later
but i came to my senses before her and realized she can get really ****ed up if she keeps doing this