Relationship of 2 years

[halfbreed]

Hello Forum Members,

I found this forum via Google, because I am in need of some advice for my relationship. I'll do my best to keep it short and sweet so no one has to read an essay on my issues. We've been together for a little over two years now. We just moved in with one-another about 3 months ago. Things are well, I help clean, cook, do my own laundry; which to me is great for a guy to do as I know many don't do those things especially a 22 year old. I can't toot my horn too much because there are definitely things I lack...

Basically the biggest problem in my relationship is my ability to perform in the bedroom. For the past year and a half I've had incredibly embarrassing and annoying premature ejaculation problems. I will only last MAYBE 2 minutes at best, if I'm not drunk, and just sober. My girlfriend has tried to be supportive and just tell me as long as I give it to her more often she won't care so much.

What has happened is this PME problem has totally damaged my sexual drive. I love my girlfriend so much, but whenever I think of having sex with her all I can think of is me not performing well enough to please her, and me ejaculating then left with a feeling of failure. It really has messed with me mentally and physically.

I've tried all sorts of things, I went on Google many times and looked up techniques. I basically tried them all, masturbating before sex, counting, controlling breathing, exercising the muscle by the gooch...nothing really seems to work. For a long time I became dependent on alcohol because it made me perform better, however now it's slowly not working anymore.

I rarely have sex with my girlfriend, on average MAYBE once a week...which is embarrassing to say. All I think about is letting her down by finishing way to quick, but really I let her down by not doing it so I feel I'm screwed either way...

What's happening because of my lack to have sex is she's becoming very insecure with herself and always treats me like I'm cheating or "up to something". Looking at girls, talking to girls, anything involving women she gets on my ass about it and it's very very annoying and unattractive.

Overall I hope and think if I can conquer my problem and become good in bed, and gain a sex drive again it will help with other relationship issues.

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. Sorry this became such a long post...I just have no one to talk to about this embarrassing personal situation.

[girl68]

Have you tried getting her to help you? By that I mean you are getting close to cumming and then you ask her to slow down or stop completely. Then you focus some loving on pleasuring her. Then when the close to cumm feeling has subsided resume sex until again you're pretty close then stop... reapeat a few times, then blow your load.

Otherwise try this technique on your own. Masterbate ti'll your real close then stop... then start, get close, then stop this might help gain control.

Or what about de sensitizing lubes? This just takes away some of the feeling so that you are less likely to blow your load too soon.

[l_girl]

Um...once a week and you feel like you're not performing? Try me maybe once a MONTH!!! That's me dying for more and him not so much. 'sigh' god I really need professional help then.

Have you tried the long lasting condoms? I think they have those desensitizing powder in them so you last longer and a condom will reduce your sensitivity reguardless as there is a extra barrier. Besides the condom I don't know what else to say other than try girl68's methods for sure! One way to assure your gf with her security and self esteem is have a heart to heart with her. Basically tell her what you're writing and hopefully that will boost her self considence. Good luck.

[halfbreed]

Have you tried getting her to help you? By that I mean you are getting close to cumming and then you ask her to slow down or stop completely. Then you focus some loving on pleasuring her. Then when the close to cumm feeling has subsided resume sex until again you're pretty close then stop... reapeat a few times, then blow your load.

Otherwise try this technique on your own. Masterbate ti'll your real close then stop... then start, get close, then stop this might help gain control.

Or what about de sensitizing lubes? This just takes away some of the feeling so that you are less likely to blow your load too soon.

Thanks for the quick response I appreciate it. I have tried some of these methods except the desensitizing lube, which I will try. Its such a shitty sexual experience to have to start and stop over and over again. I mean we've done a bit, but I really can't stand it. I get all premative and frustrated...but it may be what I have to do as I don't have too many options.

[halfbreed]

Um...once a week and you feel like you're not performing? Try me maybe once a MONTH!!! That's me dying for more and him not so much. 'sigh' god I really need professional help then.

Have you tried the long lasting condoms? I think they have those desensitizing powder in them so you last longer and a condom will reduce your sensitivity reguardless as there is a extra barrier. Besides the condom I don't know what else to say other than try girl68's methods for sure! One way to assure your gf with her security and self esteem is have a heart to heart with her. Basically tell her what you're writing and hopefully that will boost her self considence. Good luck.

Well it varies...to be honest once every 2 weeks may be the recent accurate average :\ because we live together she wants it at least everyday. And I just don't want it because I hate that feeling of not being a good enough man...its weird.