Things finally came to a head, I think

[Incognito]

Ok, so Friday night my wife starts talking about what we could do on Saturday. She suggests the Inner Harbor or an art museum. I personally didn't want to go to either place and told her such. Saturday morning I get up and say to myself "well I couldn't come up with a place to go, so I'll go with the lesser of the two evils and go to the Harbor". I get dressed and go out into the living room and ask when she is getting dressed because we'll go ahead and go to the Inner Harbor. Without looking at me she says "well the expectation is gone so, whatever, I don't want to go......" and her words trailed off. I asked her if she was sure and she got pissy. I said "well I'm going to Trader Joe's, are you going or not?". She said no, so I left. Long story short I left for 12 hours, didn't call and ignored all her calls and texts. When I got home at midnight I came in, walked past her while she was bitching about me ignoring he calls, took a shower and went to bed.

This morning (Sunday) I got up and the negativity was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I got dressed, had a protein shake and left. Realizing I had no real destination and that I was wasting gas I returned home. Fortunately they were both gone to the pool, but came back an hour later. She came into the bedroom and gave me the riot act about "me acting like I'm single...blah blah blah". I told her that I left because I refuse to deal with her attitude. She started talking about how I seemingly don't care about her feelings. We talked (if you can call it that) for a while until there was silence. She smugly said "well, do you have anything else to say?". I hesitated and looked at the wall, and she said "well if you don't, we'll be right back here in two weeks". I figured that I'd give her the honest, blunt truth and said "you're right, I don't care about what you think or your feelings most of the time". I told her that I have to not care most of the time to guard myself because every time I start to care again there is another bs conflict. That is usually when I say to myself "ohhh, that's why I stopped caring".

She wanted honesty, I gave it to her, and then she stormed out the room. WTF? She criticizes me for leaving and not talking, but then when I tell her the truth she storms out. I pointed that out in a text message as I drove away after leaving again, and she said that she wasn't angry, but crushed. She then sent me another text that said "I take your statement as you not loving me, plain and simply." I didn't respond. If she presses me I guess I'll lay some more truth on her.

[Incognito]

Just as I finished the first post she pressed me for more truth, so I gave it to her.

[SirWagginston]

... which was?

[oneandonly]

... which was?

That he doesn't love her nor care about her any more. It's about time she has to hear this from what I've read.... I may be wrong though.

[Incognito]

Yeah that was basically it.

[Incognito]

So she called and we talked. She said a few things that made me feel bad (because she was right), but I just kept on telling myself "don't apologize and don't give in because you're SOOO F*CKING CLOSE!!!". The conversation ended with her saying that she can't possibly do any more if I'm already at the point where I don't care and have given up. She told me to just tell her what I want her to do (stay or leave I'm guessing). F*CK! I might have to take off from work tomorrow and get drunk.

[jenniferx]

Hm well was Saturday supposed to be a date? Well, if yes then I can definitely see how she is mad. "lesser of two evils..." you should WANT to go out with her (if you love her that is) no matter where the date is

The cliche two things women wanted to know are:
1. They are always right
2. They are adored

The latter was clearly rejected, esp when you ignored her.

And no she did not want you to be honest, but then its her own fault for asking :p

Anyway it seems pretty obvious that the issues run deeper than just an outing not going through. I don't think this should necessarily be just two options-stay or go. If you stay it seems something has to change. Have you tried marriage counseling?

[vashti]

Wow. I can see why your wife doesn't have sex with you. You pick stupid fights, act like a child, and blame it on her.

I hope you will both find someone more suitable after the divorce you provoked.

[Mish]

I think this relationship was over a long time ago, it's just taken the two of you some time to realize it. The main problem I think is that the two of you are just not very compatible to each other.

[SirWagginston]

Didn't this woman say that if he tries to divorce her, she will milk him for all he's worth and make his life miserable? I would be testy with her 24/7 under those conditions.

[vashti]

Didn't this woman say that if he tries to divorce her, she will milk him for all he's worth and make his life miserable? I would be testy with her 24/7 under those conditions.

Oh, please. Men always claim that women say crap like that. That's what judges are for - to make the division of property fair.

[SirWagginston]

So you think Incognito is lying.

[vashti]

Lying might be a strong word, but he's definitely not being objective when he posts. It's been said many times before, but I would sure like to see what his wife has to say about his role in these relationship problems.

[IndiReloaded]

You clearly can't communicate and acted like a prima donna in your first post. In this particular instance, you are the one at fault. She made an effort, you dissed her, gave no viable alternative and then expected her to drop everything because you suddenly decide to grace everyone with your presence on the outing?

I can't speak to her. Tho, as these things rarely happen in a vacuum I'm sure she has her issues also.

But if this is how you have decided to behave, I too agree a divorce may be best. Good luck to you both.

[SirWagginston]

Well, obviously he has given up. All his efforts toward restarting their sex life failed.