Why do girls suddenly jump ship

[Cizzel]

There is a girl I had been seeing for about two months. Up until about 3 weeks ago we had spent just about every single night hanging out together for the previous month and things were going very well.. I travel a lot for work so I then go out of town for a week. I come back in town we hang out again and had a great time together. Throughout the next couple days she seemed to be more distant then normal. After about a week I asked her if everything was okay and she admitted she started seeing somebody else but was not sure where it was going with that guy.

I told her I was disappointed to hear that but appreciated her honesty. Since then I have essentially given her the silent treatment which is now going on two weeks. I still want to pursue things with the girl but I am not willing to be a secondary option. If I was to try and rationalize how this situation happened I would say that I didn't really let her know how much I was truly into her and played it to cool.... Again let me stress things were going well (for the sake of the argument lets accept that as fact). If I am to put any blame on myself its that I didnt give her a strong enough impression I wanted to be exclusive.

With that being said can anyone give me any insight into why a girl would even put herself into a position to meet somebody else, let a lone date someone else and subsequently drop the current guy she is seeing? Hopefully you guys can help me make some sense of the situation.

[vashti]

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With that being said can anyone give me any insight into why a girl would even put herself into a position to meet somebody else, let a lone date someone else and subsequently drop the current guy she is seeing? Hopefully you guys can help me make some sense of the situation.

If you had no exclusivity agreement, she was still on the market. Next time you want a girl for yourself, tell her.

[Cizzel]

If you had no exclusivity agreement, she was still on the market. Next time you want a girl for yourself, tell her.

Totally get that and respect that.... At the same time there is a difference between being on the market and abruptly going cold turkey on the other person you are seeing no?

[vashti]

I don't think so.... the other guy may have been more demonstrative about his affection, and requested exclusivity. Beat you to the punch, in other words.

[Cizzel]

I don't think so.... the other guy may have been more demonstrative about his affection, and requested exclusivity. Beat you to the punch, in other words.

If thats the case that other guy must have be Don Juan and whatever her and I had was a figment of my imagination. Both scenarios I find to be highly unlikely. Either way its hard to make any assumptions.

In contrast while I was traveling I met a great girl, we hit it off, she was super attractive and super in to me. Yet I didn't give her my number nor did I contact her after her friend hit me up the next day with her info... Why? Cause thing were going well with the girl I was currently seeing and I wanted to pursue our relationship. Clearly the girl I was seeing did not show me the same level of courtesy. Now I am forced to give her the silent treatment not knowing what her deal is, leaving me to over-analyze what happened and to seek out advise from strangers on message boards... Awesome

[xxazurexx]

People can jump ship easily and because they weren't all that 'into' you in the first place IMO.

What you are/were feeling, obviously isn't what they were feeling.

And men do this too. Date a woman a few times, then distance. Attraction happens, but people can quickly lose interest also.

[Cizzel]

People can jump ship easily and because they weren't all that 'into' you in the first place IMO.

What you are/were feeling, obviously isn't what they were feeling.

And men do this too. Date a woman a few times, then distance. Attraction happens, but people can quickly lose interest also.

Agree with you 100%. This situation is a bit different because we were spending every free moment together for the better part of a month, then it abruptly ended. Just seems a bit odd

[xxazurexx]

^Sorry, but your situation isn't unique as you seem to think it is.

I've read loads of stories 'exactly' the same. A couple have met, spent loads of time together, got really close (or so it seemed), then suddenly, one bails out and after a few weeks - happens all the time.

Despite the fact you two spent loads of time together, she obviously wasn't feeling the same as you. If she was, I don't feel she would have jumped into some other guys arm so quickly.

She probably liked you, enjoyed time with you and it relieved her boredom for a while....but she was never fully in it.

Now she is seeing someone else, a new guy who caught her eye who appealed to her more than you do. she doesn't need you anymore...hence why you havn't heard much from her since.

I know this shit aint what you want to hear, just giving it to you how I see it.

[Cizzel]

Thanks for the response xxazurexx. And believe me my ego or pride is not hurt by your bluntness. Simply trying to avoid the scenario in the future. Obviously feeling were not mutual otherwise this situation would not have risen but yet I truly felt the girl absolutely adored me without any indication that might not be the case.

Either:

A. I did not convey enough interest to where she thought our relationship was more casual
B. She was never that into it at all despite my feeling that she was.

Are these the only two scenarios?

Does it really come down to I am either dating A or B for some girls?

I meet a lot of girls and maybe I casually date several at a time but once I start seeing someone essentially exclusively whether it is stated or implied I myself would not be capable to just cold turkey whatever girl I was seeing because I just met someone else and went on a few dates with them... Maybe I missing something here but I dont see how she could have established stronger connection with someone else so soon (assuming we had a strong connection for the sake of the argument).

[vashti]

I have established a strong connection to a man based solely on eye contact. (Rare, but it happens.)

[Cizzel]

I have established a strong connection to a man based solely on eye contact. (Rare, but it happens.)

So eye contact with a man and the fantasy of what relationship may come from that brief exchange would in that single moment negate anything you had built with your current boyfriend??? WOW

I have established a strong connection to a girl based solely on her tits but that does not mean I am going to leave my girlfriend for her.

[xxazurexx]

Well I'm female and the only reason I'd jump ship, was if I lost interest or some other guy was chasing me who I preferred. But I don't tend to get involved with guys I may be only 'half hearted' about and my interest tends to grow rather than wane. For that reason, I have hardly ever been a dumper.

I would also distance and if I thought I wasn't being taken seriously by a guy, as Vashti said. If some guy came on the scene meantime and I liked him, then I'd pursue things with the 'new' guy.
BUT, if the previous guy began taking me seriously again and I preferred him to the 'new' guy....I'd return to the previous guy.

I think she will know that she meant something to you and when you informed of her of your disappointment that she'd met someone else - yet she hasn't returned and is still with the 'new' guy. This is what tells me, that she prefers him, or she would have returned to you and as soon as she sensed your disappointment.

As for the connection, well people come along who we are strongly attracted too and that is all it takes...a 'strong' attraction for someone. And yes, people will just go from one partner to the next, if there is a 'stronger' attraction for the new person and people dump people all the time and for someone new.

[Cizzel]

xxazurexx,
Thanks for your insight. I agree completely with what you just said. What is throwing me off is she had made effort to reach out to me although passively. I am hesitant to respond to her favorably because I wont make myself an option which I have to assume is the case. Therefor I have been brief in my responses to her. She is aware I like her and I think me doing anything else at this point would be counterproductive. This is all still very new so I guess time will tell what happens. In the meantime I am not holding my breath

[xxazurexx]

So eye contact with a man and the fantasy of what relationship may come from that brief exchange would in that single moment negate anything you had built with your current boyfriend??? WOW

I have established a strong connection to a girl based solely on her tits but that does not mean I am going to leave my girlfriend for her.

Which is why I'm still leaning toward, she wasn't 'that' interested in the first place and no matter how much she fooled she was.

People don't just up and leave and jump ship, if they are 'into' you....simple as that.

[xxazurexx]

xxazurexx,
Thanks for your insight. I agree completely with what you just said. What is throwing me off is she had made effort to reach out to me although passively. I am hesitant to respond to her favorably because I wont make myself an option which I have to assume is the case. Therefor I have been brief in my responses to her. She is aware I like her and I think me doing anything else at this point would be counterproductive. This is all still very new so I guess time will tell what happens. In the meantime I am not holding my breath

I'd just leave her alone as you are doing. She knows she hurt you and it's her place to return.

In time she may realise that this other guy aint all that and she may realise she made a huge mistake and come crawling back.

Whether you take her back or not, is then down to you. I would never give a second chance and to someone who jumped ship like that...but that's just me.